Self-Acceptance: Key to Transcending the Duality Matrix
As an infant, still immersed in Oneness, you accepted yourself unconditionally, and were completely without shame or self-consciousness. Until someone told you, or implied to you, that there was anything unacceptable about you, your behavior, or the situation into which you were born, you accepted yourself in every way. It didn’t matter what you looked like, if you were rich or poor, what your skin color was, if you had a deformity, an alcoholic parent, fashionable clothes, ragged clothes or no clothes.
You accepted your body completely, including your genitals and your bowel movements, and did not experience them as something about which to be ashamed or to hide. You did not question the validity of your feelings, the sound of your own voice or the grace of your movements. You did not compare yourself to anyone else, or wish you were someone other than who you are. You simply were, and that was that. You were whole and still operating out of Prime Matrix—Oneness—fully expressing your essential qualities, with Life Force moving through you at optimal levels. You had not yet been disempowered through judgment.
Only when your caretakers, who were embroiled in the duality matrix, the realm of opposites, comparisons, and of the judgment of what is “good” and “bad,” acceptable and unacceptable, began teaching you that some things about you were okay and others were not, did you begin to see yourself as less than perfect. Only when someone praised some things about you and criticized others, or compared you to someone else, did you learn to do the same. This was not natural for you—you had to learn to shift from the sense of holiness and perfection within you, to a sense of incompleteness and imperfection. You had to learn to judge yourself—to not to fully accept yourself. You had to learn to step out of Oneness into the Life Force-depleting, frequency-lowering duality matrix, the realm of judgment.
Your acquired lack of self-acceptance is truly crippling you more than you may know. It has kept you tied to the duality matrix, because all your judgments about everything are rooted in your lack of self-acceptance and your judgment of self. What you are not able to accept in others is intimately tied to that which you cannot accept in yourself, and this pattern of judgment keeps you stuck in the duality matrix. Letting go of self-judgment, and re-learning self-acceptance is key to releasing yourself from the trap of duality.
No doubt there are characteristics or conditions you have developed as a result of your tenure here on Planet Earth that are not desirable to you and, certainly, it may serve your divine purpose to change them. But the irony is, when you fail to accept whatever you wish to change, it simply puts you in a position from which real transformation and healing is impossible, because it keeps you out of alignment with Source, out of the flow of Love, which is the only transformational, healing force there is! Remember, acceptance is not about liking something or condoning it. Rather, it is acknowledging it in a neutral way. It is saying, “I will not judge because I do not have the capacity to fully understand how who I Am and what I express fits into the Whole of Creation. I will not judge because I do not know the totality of God’s desire for experiencing what it is to be human.”
Certainly, if it is true that the Creator’s primary goal is to experience every facet of Her or Himself, then whatever you, as a facet of God, manifest in your being—whether desirable to you, or undesirable to you—is a part of providing God with a complete experience. Therefore, to judge yourself is of no use, except to keep you trapped in the pain of duality. Only through non-judgment can we move out of duality, and truly be in alignment with Source where we are able to release anything that doesn’t suit our divine purpose, and experience the joy and fulfillment of being and doing that which we are designed to be and do.
So, as you can see, acceptance of yourself is a major piece in the process of returning to the higher frequency of joy and harmony. Because the habit of judgment is so deeply ingrained in humanity, self-acceptance is something that you will need to practice and practice and practice. But doing it is liberating in a way that you will not conceive of until you experience it. There is nothing that will raise your frequency as effectively as true self-acceptance. To get there, try offering yourself the same patience, compassion, understanding and Love you might give a disabled child in your care—for that is what you are. Operating in the duality matrix has crippled you, but by refusing to withhold Love from yourself, and practicing the unconditional acceptance you embodied as an infant, you take a truly powerful step toward rising in frequency, healing the wounds sustained in the duality matrix, and rising back up in frequency where your life is harmonious, joyful, and filled with Love once again.
©2005 Julia Rogers Hamrick
Julia Rogers Hamrick has been a spiritual-growth facilitator since the mid-1980s, and is the author of Choosing Easy World and Recreating Eden. Julia teaches about the relationship between vibrational frequency and experience.