What To Do When Your "Stuff" Comes Up on the Way to Enlightenment
When you’re in the midst of spiritual growth, aligning with your God-Realized Self more and more, spending a greater portion of your experience in Prime Matrix, taking in more and more Light, and expanding into the enlightened being you are in truth, you can suddenly find yourself very crabby and feeling congested and anything but joyful. When this happens, understand that you are displacing your ego, and ego will do what it has to to survive. It will clamp down on the flow of Love through you to the best of its ability to prevent you from spending more time out of it’s realm of influence, and will bring up all your “stuff” so that it seems to be right in your face.
Of course, the first thing that you experience when this happens is…resistance! And what part of you is the resistance master? Ego, of course. So it’s a double trap. It’s important to understand what is going on so that you don’t find yourself stuck at lower frequency, right where the ego would like for you to be, any longer than necessary. Instead of shutting down in response to this, the answer is to be non-resistant—to observe it and just go, “Hmmm…no thanks!” And to open up more and more and do whatever is needed to allow the Love to flow again. You can’t dissolve a shadow with anything but more Light.
To illustrate this phenomenon, there is an exercise I do in some of my workshops where I take a clear cylindrical jar filled with pure water and say that it represents you in the beginning, pure Light and Love without any of the fear and ego stuff you pick up during your Earth journey. Then I drop a teaspoon of instant coffee into it and we watch as the granules float down and the water turns murky, with some of the granules going to the bottom. We imagine that it is the "crud" that you take on in response to living in the duality matrix with egos running the show. (I always see the granules that sink to the bottom as the stuff that you store that detonates later and you don't have a conscious knowledge of what it is or where it came from).
Then I ask those in the class "How are we going to get the coffee out? How are we going to purify?" Obviously, you can't un-dissolve the coffee, or somehow pick it out. Next, I pour pure, clean water, which I characterize as "Light" into the top of the jar, which begins to displace the coffee water, which rises up and spills over into the big bowl the jar is in. As the clear water pours in, though, the granules from the bottom also get stirred up and the dark water rises to the top. I tell them to pretend that at the top of the jar are their perceptions, and that if you didn't know better, based on seeing more murkiness instead of less, your ego would believe that things were going wrong and that taking in more Light was causing things to get worse—and might see the solution as being to shut down on the in-pouring of the Light.
Of course, that's exactly what would keep you stuck with the darkness "in your face." The truth is that only by continuing to flush with Light will you get rid of the murkiness, so the answer is not to shut down, but continue to open, open, open! Then I continue pouring in the pure water until all the coffee is displaced, and the jar of water is completely clear again. It is something I do to show that in an intensive spiritual experience such as the workshop, or in the ongoing re-spiritualization of our lives, there will be stuff stirred up within, and not to be concerned when it happens, but celebrate it as part of the process and keep doing what we’re doing to let in more Light.
That is an exercise I go back to in my mind over and over again during my own spiritual purification process. I will confess that I am not yet completely immune to being tripped up by ego’s challenges to my enlightenment, and the first thing that comes to mind in these situations has not always been, “Oh! More Light is needed!” But I am learning not to resist it, but instead, to surrender to my God-Realized Self and open to an even greater influx of Love, of Light. I am learning to go to the Step-By-Step Frequency Raising System and work the steps so that I release ego resistance and flood my being with Love and Light so that I move back into the joy space once more!
©2006 Julia Rogers Hamrick
Julia Rogers Hamrick has been a spiritual-growth facilitator since the mid-1980s, and is the author of Choosing Easy World and Recreating Eden. Julia teaches about the relationship between vibrational frequency and experience.