What You Think is Wrong With You May Be Something Right!
I want to introduce you to a radical notion. Maybe what you think is wrong with you, is actually something that is right with you! Sadly, some of our unique and important personality traits are misunderstood and not accepted by ourselves or by society. So many of the things we decide are personality defects are simply things that do not fit into our culture’s ideas of what and how we are supposed to be. They are characteristics that, if properly cultivated, may be our true strengths, but because they don’t fit easily into the world the way it is, they may not be valued in our society, and we may decide they are defects and judge ourselves as defective. When you stop resisting about yourself that which you have judged, and accept it instead, you may find that, at the very least, you are now in position to transform it, since only when you are out of the realm of judgment are you able to channel Love, the only transformative force in the universe. But even more exciting is that you may find, instead of a liability, you have a characteristic that is something to cultivate and celebrate! And it may even be a clue to your divine role and purpose on the planet!
For example, if you are someone who moves from career to career, job to job, and can’t seem to make anything “stick,” you may feel that you are a failure, and judge yourself as defective. If you have not settled on one thing and mastered it, but have tried many things, continually moving from one endeavor to the next, you may believe that something is wrong with you because, according to society’s values, you are supposed to find a career, get very good at one thing and work at it until you retire. Consider, however, that the capacity to keep moving from one thing to another is a strength, and the willingness to attempt new things means you are flexible and adaptable and ready to re-group at a moment’s notice, always available to go where Spirit leads you. This is a valuable trait—an evolutionary trait—if not in the eyes of society, in the whole scheme of things. The Divine Design needs versatile people like you!
Some of your qualities may simply be problematical because they are misplaced—you are not in the right situation to utilize them. What if you are someone that tends to be loud and animated, and you work in a hospital or library or other place where being loud is a mismatch, but you’re having a hard time reining in your energy? Can you think of any role in which being naturally loud and animated, a sign of someone channeling a large flow of energy, would be a plus? Besides being a stage actor, a comedian, or motivational speaker, perhaps those characteristics would come in handy for crowd control in an emergency, or for working with the hearing-impaired! Or perhaps you are meant to learn to channel that powerful energy for healing. Instead of judging your characteristics as wrong, consider that you may simply be in the wrong situation to optimize those strengths.
Procrastination is a biggie for many of us, and a trait that we tend to dislike about ourselves. What is procrastination? It is the decision to defer action until you are internally moved to act. Granted, oftentimes procrastination is a rebellious reaction instead of a real choice. Many of us have had overly coercive parents who did not honor our need to attune with the flow of Life Force within us and coordinate our actions with our own sense of what to do when, so we’ve unconsciously used procrastination as a way to try to take back our power. Viewed as a strength, procrastination may be interpreted as a sign that you are unwilling to live your life according to an externally dictated schedule, and understand that waiting for energy to well up in you telling you it’s actually time to get a thing done is a way of aligning with divine timing. When you stop vilifying this pattern and begin to utilize it for what it is, you can see that there are times when putting off action has been the right thing to do—and, you may find that you will choose to act promptly more often, once you free up your attitude about procrastination and stop reinforcing it through condemnation.
The list of possible misunderstandings about yourself is as long as the list of qualities you don’t like. Instead of fighting your innate tendencies, perhaps it is time to accept and use those qualities to serve in a higher way. Before you permanently judge that something about you is wrong and needs to be changed, try this: Make a list of those things about yourself you find unacceptable. Use your imagination to come up with how and why those things may really be strengths in disguise. Brainstorm this—no answer is too far out when you’re brainstorming. The very thing you like least about yourself may be one of the most important tools you were given for carrying out your Spirit’s purposes here on Earth!
Certainly there are things about your personality that you don’t like that are simply adaptations to the dysfunctional situation on Planet Earth, and bringing these parts of you that may be out of balance into balance may be exactly what is called for. It is crucial you understand, though, that the only way to balance and transform these aspects of you is through Love—and love requires acceptance. Your lack of self-acceptance means that you are out of alignment with Source, and out of the flow of Love. Love is the only force that can transform this or any other aspect of you, so self-acceptance is a must either way. Self-acceptance is the key to your transformation!
©2006 Julia Rogers Hamrick
Julia Rogers Hamrick has been a spiritual-growth facilitator since the mid-1980s, and is the author of Choosing Easy World and Recreating Eden. Julia teaches about the relationship between vibrational frequency and experience.