Independence Day

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Today (actually, yesterdayit's after midnight) was the day when Rick and I finally got out the numbers and looked at them. And you know what? My reward for doing what terrified me was that it wasn’t nearly as awful as I had imagined! What I saw was that, for the first time in years, we were holding our own financially, and while we’re far from financial freedom, we’re not digging deeper into debt. And, in fact, there is blue sky coming into view. It’s going to take a concerted effort, but things are about to turn around. Now, imagine if I had not been willing to look—I would have continued to be afraid and would have been dodging a boogey man that didn’t exist.

Now—I’m not claiming that one serious look at our finances is all it takes to cure me of my fears and make me a money master. BUT, it’s a start. I told you I was going to read Maria Nemeth’s The Energy of Money, and I have been. So has Rick. It’s a super book, and each time I open it and read a few pages, I have an “Aha!” moment. The one I had the other day was in response to her assertion that when you have financial issues, you are probably not applying your life’s guiding principles to your finances. She challenges you to state your non-negotiable “rules for life”—and then see if you are upholding them in the area of money. And I realized that I was not! I really was not! What are my guiding principles? My absolute, bottom-line rules for living? They are:

Be open—hide nothing.

Be honest—even when it’s painful.

Live with integrity—promote wholeness and harmony.

When it came to my financial life, I was doing just the opposite—with myself. I was doing my best not to come face to face with the realities, trying to keep money matters a secret from myself (remember my crippling belief system that it is safer not to know about money), and avoiding every opportunity to bring matters into harmony and heal them. Whereas I insist on complete integrity in all other areas of my life, sure enough, I had failed to apply my guiding principles to that most important part of life. But today, I was willing to lookREALLY looknot just see the paper with the figures on it, but look at what they represented. And, amazingly, it felt empowering instead of disempowering! Just like every fear, it is much more powerful when it's stuffed in the closet. Bringing it into the light of day helped me know that, basically, it is just another part of life that requires focus. Oh, yeahwe did an invocation before we started our "meeting," and it set the right tone and felt empowering.

What Maria teaches is that learning how to deal with money is a matter of learning how to manage energy. I figure if I could be that far off base with my handling of the energy of money—basically NOT handling that energy—there must be a lot more energy that I am mishandling, or failing to handle, that I’m just not aware of. She promises that by improving your energy management skills in one area, they will improve in all areas spontaneously. So…I’m excited to see what unfolds as I begin to have more integrity with my financial life. I’ve already seen a few glimmers today!

Rick and I have set up a kind of a game with a great reward to help me pay closer attention to spending. I won’t outline the specifics of it, but I believe it’s going to be a fun way to help me make wiser choices so that we can make progress faster toward debt retirement. I can hardly believe I’m actually excited over the prospect over being more responsible and accountable about spending. By the way, Rick is being so helpful and wonderful about all this. I’m sure it’s a big relief to him, too, for me to be willing to get real about money!

So today was not just the 4th of July—it really was a celebration of freedom—freedom from the tyranny of my fears about money and the beginning of a new relationship with energy! Hoorah! Happy Independence Day!

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Patti said:

Julia -
I so appreciate your willingness to be open and vulnerable - with
the world - no less! I read this posting with interest - I love having
money - and have ordered the book, based on your comments here.
Since I am an ""energy worker"" of the future, I guess I better
take a concentrated look at how I am handling /not handling
this form of energy as well.
I appreciate your insights, wisdom, and openess to share! Thank you!
With Joy,

Julia said:

I am glad that my ""stuff"" can serve as food for the spiritual growth of others as well as my own! As I believe I recently stated on the blog, it helps me to think that whatever I'm going through can be instructive for others--that way, I don't feel so much like a victim when it comes to dealing with things I'd rather not! I do live to teach!
I realize that I am far more open than many people are comfortable with, but that is something that comes fairly easily for me, so I must assume it's part of the gift I have to offer--sometimes, much to the chagrin of my ego who is frequently shouting, ""NO NO NO DON'T SAY THAT!!!
I believe you'll really like The Energy of Money. Let me know what you think!
Love and Joy,

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This page contains a single entry by Julia published on July 5, 2005 4:18 AM.

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