I'll let you read about Amanda and her situation at http://www.helpamandagettocollege.info/ Be sure to read "From Amanda" and "A Message from Amanda's Mother." I'm betting you'll be as inspired to do what you can to help her as I am!
I just love the spirit of this--everyone chipping in just $10 and then spreading the word so that a bright light like Amanda can have the chance to shine her brightest. Such a little bit to do, but when enough people do it, it changes a life--and, when you read what Amanda has to say, you'll see that it may someday change yours!
I'm thinking that beyond just raising the money for Amanda to go to Wellesley, we're showing her the power of dreaming big and how the Universe always comes through for you when you allow it to. AND that human beings are basically loving, supportive, generous and caring.
But the benefits aren't just Amanda's--just from making my small donation, sending an email to 20 friends, and blogging about this, I feel like a million bucks!
Share in the Love and raise your own vibes: http://www.helpamandagettocollege.info/
I had 2 cool experiences doing that last night. First off, I needed a seat in the lobby to wait, but there were none available on the side where I needed to be. So I simply chose Easy World and went ahead to the ladies' room with the thought, "the people in the two comfy chairs nearest the door to the auditorium will leave just as I come out of the bathroom." Would you believe that's exactly what happened? (And no, I didn't say it out loud, give them a dirty look, or otherwise overtly influence them!) Gotta love Easy World!
Next, as I was sitting there in one of the 2 armchairs, I was aware of being somewhat ignored by the many people passing by on their way into the auditorium. Those who looked at me did so with a complete lack of interest--women, men, kids--no connection. I like connecting with people! Now, I've told you before that in my youth, my looks got me quite a lot of attention, and so it is an odd sensation to no longer command second glances. Between my age and my weight, they just don't happen that much anymore. So as I sat there, just as a lark, I employed the technique my friend, Elizabeth, shared with me long ago.
I pretended I had on a tee-shirt that said, "I am gorgeous and absolutely irresistible!" And I felt that! Not even one full minute after "putting on my tee-shirt," a really handsome man who appeared to be in his early-to-mid-forties walked right up to me and said, in a mildly flirtatious manner, "What are you doing sitting out here by yourself?" Then, he introduced himself, and asked if he might keep me company, helping himself to the other armchair next to me! Of course, I said "yes," and explained why I was waiting outside the theater.
As it dawned on him I was married and that my husband was saving my seat inside, his enthusiam cooled only slightly (after all, I had put no boundaries on my gorgeousness and irresistiblity!) and he continued to chat a bit. I am sure I was grinning from ear-to-ear--not so much because I had attracted a handsome guy with my "shirt," (and really--I wasn't actually looking to attract a man--anyone would have been fine!) but because I realized just how powerful we are as creators, and how little power those things we consider limitations are when we decide to transcend them! WE are creating our realities. What a novel thought! (grin) How cool is that?!
Check out all the bonuses available when you buy The Daughter-In-Law Rules today, May 6. I haven't read all of it (you can read lots of reviews on Amazon), but from the bit I did read, it's a fun, clever, and helpful book, and with all the weddings coming up, it might just be the shower gift of the season!
And I do love that she is donating 15% of her profits to Much Love Animal Rescue.
Good luck, today, Sally!
Last night, while out to dinner at an upscale, expensive restaurant, I told Rick I may be leaving him for another man.
His calm reply was that I really should have waited till he had picked up the check before announcing that.
Of course, I'm not really leaving my dear husband, but I have become somewhat obsessed with Cesar Millan, "The Dog Whisperer." Rick is well aware of this as he is as impressed and fascinated with him as I am, though not, I suspect, drawn in quite the same way to his powerful male energy! Cesar is a man who is so attuned with the dog psyche, he's practically half canine himself. And those who know me well know that I am completely enamoured of dogs. What's not to love about such a guy? I'm sure I'm only one of at least a million women who are attracted to him.
Truthfully, I couldn't actually see myself with Cesar, who is, for starters, happily married (as I am), much younger, and very unlikely to be interested in me. But more than that, he is such a dominant force, I would likely have to give up my status as the Queen of Everything to submit to his powerful pack-leader personna! There is something, however, within the female animal body of me that is responsive to that male, dominant energy, despite all my higher thought and insistence on gender equality.
Fortunately, I have the exact man I need already. Rick is really the perfect blend of male-female energy: no one would ever mistake him for a female, yet he is very balanced and his strong maleness is tempered by a healthy feminine aspect that allows us to relate emotionally in ways that many men simply woudn't able to. And, he is strong and very masculine while still repecting me as the royalty I am sure I am. No--I'm not going to give that up!
As for Cesar, he is very well-balanced as well, but being from Mexico, his machismo is quite developed, and his focus on being "pack leader" to his dozens of dogs does nothing to detract from that. My friend Catherine, who turned me onto The Dog Whisperer, says his beautiful Mexican-American wife, Ilusion, had to straighten him out about that early in their relationship!
All discussion about my feminine attraction to him aside, I am learning so much from watching Cesar's show on the National Geographic Channel. He is all about energy, and working with energy, and, as he says, he "rehabilitates dogs and trains people." The primary way he trains people is to make them aware of the energy they're embodying and projecting. He has the ability to model this so effectively that I have been able to deepen my understanding of directing energy from just watching him on TV, and already see without making a concerted effort, that our dogs are responding to a subtle shift in the energy that we are putting out around them and the few techniques of Cesar's that we've applied.
I love that he is not only helping human beings understand the dog's gestalt, which is not the same as a human's contrary to most dog-owners beliefs, he is bringing the concept of working at an energetic level to the mainstream in a matter-of-fact, non-apologetic way. Apparently, he is a controversial character in the dog-training world, but I believe the issues with him are all based in a mis-match of paradigms. I think the Cesar Millan nay-sayers are ones who don't see things in terms of energy but are caught up in the old paradigm of seeing things mechanically only.
Whatever the case, I am really pretty accurate at reading people's essential selves, and I see only the highest of intentions at work with Cesar. I am so grateful he's out there doing what he's doing, helping people to be more effective pack leaders so that dogs and humans can learn to coexist at a higher level. And happy I can watch him on TV everyday--with Rick! Here is a picture of our pack, taken last weekend:
In past entries, I've confessed my attraction to junk TV as an expression of my shadow, so I hope it won't come as a shock to you that I received the following revelation while watching The Real Housewives of New York City. In an episode I watched on Saturday, one of the housewives and her friend went to a doctor who specializes in non-surgical treatments designed to make one look younger. The housewife, "Ramona," who is quite a pistol, was extolling the virtues of keeping up with one's beauty regimen so as to continually look as young and attractive as possible. In my perception, however, despite all the time and money she spends on upkeep, she looks quite hard-edged and not as young as she may think she looks.
While she wears her hair in a youthful style and has a trim, attractive figure which she loves to show off with clothes designed for much younger women (much to the chagrin of her conservative, adolescent daughter), she seems to be missing the one thing that would truly bely her years. Now--I'm just as vain as most mortals, and while I religiously cleanse my face and slather on high-quality moisturizers and other potions to keep my skin in top condition and youthful-looking as possible, I know that my--and your--greatest beauty treatment is Love.
Love--Life Force Energy--is that which enlivens us and without which we not only age and deteriorate, we die. Now--I'm not saying Ramona isn't a loving being doing the best she knows how; that she's not having exactly the life experience that she needs to be having in order for God, All That Is, to have the experience of being Ramona, I'm just saying that allowing Love to flow does not seem a top priority for her at a conscious level. That, by the way, seems to be true for most human beings.
But if she--if we--were to make radiating Love unconditionally our top priority, not only would our vibrational frequency be higher and our lives more harmonious, we would look younger and younger! Think about it: when we are young, we look dewy and fresh because Life Force is flowing through us at optimal levels. We have not yet blocked the flow of Love/Life Force through letting ego reign. As we choose ego more and more, which automatically blocks, and thus, diminishes the flow of Love, we begin to age--tissue begins to deteriorate from a deficit of Life Force--and we look older. Over time, we are less and less enlivened until we are no longer able to sustain our bodies with the limited Life Force we're able to circulate, and the jig is up.
But what if, now that we're conscious and aware, we took part in the most powerful beauty and rejuvenation plan of all? What if we increased the Life Force/Love we're flowing through us? What if, instead of declining, we gained energy through choosing Love over ego more and more and more? I am quite sure it's the beauty treatment with more potential than any Park Avenue doctor will ever come up with! Hmmm...I wonder if I promote this idea if sheer vanity might propel otherwise unconscious people into consistently radiating Love for the amazing cosmetic benefits?
My trip was great. I loved seeing everybody and the flora did not disappoint. It was a tiny bit past prime in Raleigh, but just as I predicted, the Spring show was in full force in Winston-Salem. I wish I'd been able to get a photo of the redbuds in bloom along I-40 between Greensboro and Winston-Salem. Mile after mile of redbuds mixed with wild dogwoods. Stunning!
I did get some pictures while I was in NC, and maybe my energy will have returned sufficiently for me to upload and share them soon! In fact, I'm sure it will.
I was struck by how wonderful it felt to go from one place to another and another where people were excited to see me--where I felt loved and treasured. I haven't managed to create that here in Denver (except with Rick and the girls), but in NC, that's what characterizes my visits. Of course, I'm sure that being on vacation and seeing these loved ones so infrequently is part of the magic, but whatever the case, I was really glad to get my tanks refilled! And Dad and I got along splendidly--that's really a milestone and one for which I am very grateful.
Today, while visiting the dentist and doing errands afterward, I was struck with a new appreciation for being here as well. It was a glorious Spring day and the trees around Denver are coming into bloom, too, and the people I encountered seemed friendlier than usual. I'm sure my vibration was drawing that to me. Ahhh, Spring! Ahhh, vacation aftermath! It's almost like having a Spring do-over. I may need to schedule another NC trip for next April...
My dear friend, Catherine, with whom I stayed in Winston-Salem, is a devotee of Cesar Millan, "The Dog Whisperer," and she got me hooked. I've recorded a couple of his shows since I returned and have shared them with Rick. I can really feel a difference within myself from taking his approach of calm, assertive dominance. My relationship with our dogs is really excellent, but there are some things I know I have created from my own lack of energetic awareness. I'll be paying closer attention and making corrections. I love that he teaches that it's your own energy you have to manage in order to change the dogs' energy. He is a controversial figure, but I think the people that object to his methods just don't think in terms of energy and don't "get" him.
Okay. I'll write more when the fascinating topics I had thought about before re-present themselves to me. Meanwhile, I'm just glad to be settling back in.
The countdown has begun. I'm leaving for my homeland pilgrimmage Tuesday morning, and I am so excited.
Rick has been devoted to watching the Masters this weekend, and thus I've been watching a lot of it, too. I always love it because Augusta National is the most beautiful golf course in the world (in my not-so-humble-opinion) and looks like home to me. They always, or so it seems, have the tournament just slightly after the peak of the azaleas and dogwoods, but still while everything is just achingly beautiful before the heat of summer sets in--so green and pristine and lovely, as only Spring in the Southeast--or maybe it's as only Spring in the Southeast at a perfectly manicured golf course--can be.
I'm thrilled to know that I will be hitting parts of North Carolina during the peak of the dogwoods and azaleas. That is what I miss more than any other phenomenon--the magic of Spring back home. My sister in Raleigh, with whom I'll be staying first, says it'll be a few days past peak there, but further west, where I'll be going next, will be at almost exactly peak. Regardless, it will be a balm to my soul. This is a photo I took of the spectacular display several years back during a trip home. It is of a yard in the neighborhood of our former family home.
Also balm to my soul will be seeing my sisters and dad again and getting together with friends. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this on the blog before, but Denver is not a place where I've made friends. Friendly acquaintances, yes. Buddies? No. About a year after I first moved here, I had an astrocartography reading done, and the astrologer confirmed that this is not a social locale for me, but a learning/teaching place, and somewhere for me to be in my "spiritual cave." She was so right. But I have an extroverted side that desperately misses getting together with friends, so my annual trips to NC allow me to fill up that hole--or what feels like one. As usual, my week is stuffed with social plans--just the way I want it!
So I may get a chance to blog between now and the time I return, and I may not. We'll see. I have a lot of organizing and packing and healing to do before my plane leaves the ground this Tuesday morning. I am in the process of overcoming a case of bronchitis, which the doc thought might be pneumonia, but determined it isn't thank goodness. For the first time in over 20 years, I'm on anti-biotics as there just wasn't time to do the job completely naturally with essential oils, etc. Sometimes you just have to do what works (hopefully, this is working--I've had an allergic reaction to it and I'm very itchy!), even if it's not in alignment with your ideals. When my doc said she would advise me not to fly if I didn't get this knocked on out before my travel day, I said, "give me the antibiotics--I want to go home!"
Anyway, I'll get back to the blog as Spirit moves me to!
It seems that many of the things that have been foremost in my consciousness are not things I can blog about. Okay--I can blog about them, but spelling things out has the potential to hurt relationships with those I love, so it's not worth it to go into the details. Let me see if I can convey the issues in a non-specific way...
Of late, I have discovered just how much I have allowed the insanity of others to impact my soul. I have had the opportunity in the last week, however, to take a new stance. Something that, at first, seemed like an assault on my little world has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I am handling things at a new level. Freedom!
Someone who is in my life whom I cannot, in an outer sense, "get rid of" (or believe me--I would have walked away years ago) who is really quite a drama queen and, I dare say, mentally unwell, has stirred things up in a very self-centered way that has hurt others that I love very much. Because of the position I'm in, I have felt very disempowered to do anything--at least in an outer sense--and normally, when such tornadoes have kicked up, I've just swallowed the outrage I've felt, and banked the energy as resentment, because I have not seen any other way to deal with the situation. Interestingly, the emotional roots of rheumatoid arthritis, which has been my health challenge through the years, is resentment...
This time, I initially greeted the accounts of the situation with a complete lack of passion. In observing myself, I was amazed to find that instead of feeling it viscerally, I felt great detachment. I somehow knew that it was not mine to take in or to do anything about except observe and process mentally. I did allow myself a brief spewing of ego-based garbage, but it was the shallowest reaction I've ever experienced in relation to such episodes. It was almost like I had to work myself up to release anything, because I had taken so little in. What I released was old "stuff."
Somehow, I had finally managed not to take it in at the level I had before--to not allow it to affect me personally, and not to have so much of the feeling of helplessness that I always had before. I was suddenly able to see it all for what it is: a drama that others are choosing that I don't have to choose! Wow.
This is not to say I haven't been processing it this week, but it's all been in a new way for me. As an empath, and because it involves people I love, it is easy to get sucked in, but somehow, I have been able to be much more dispassionate than before. What a blessing! I can't change what others are doing, but I can certainly manage my response to it. While this is not a new concept, I'm experiencing it at a new level and it is sublime. Yes--raising your vibrational frequency--your "frequency set-point" has much to recommend it!
Now--it's out to pot up the flat of pansies I bought yesterday...
Amazing! In trying to figure out what I'll need to take with me to wear when I visit my family in NC next month, I just tried on the last pair of jeans I had outgrown in my seeming subconscious quest to have a Buddha-like figure, and I was able to get them on and zip them! A miracle! I wouldn't have even tried except that I heard a tiny whisper of encouragement to do so while looking at some jeans online, and when I dowsed to see if they would fit, the rods promised me "yes." I really wouldn't have even subjected myself to the possible disappointment if not. I don't look fabulous in them or anything--but I can zip them without straining and if I wear a non-clingy top with them, I look pretty okay!
I guess the last few weeks of dietary consciousness have actually netted results. I've a long way to go before I hit the target weight I have decided upon--not my ultimate target, but the first one to shoot for--but it would appear that I've managed to turn the trend around! That's HUGE--pardon the pun.
For so long, I have truly felt deeply compelled to be fat. Deeply. Like--when I thought about losing weight, I felt major resistance within, as if some sub-personality or another just NEEDED to be fat to serve some really important purpose. I'd think about being fat and it felt good! I couldn't even feel a desire to be thinner. No matter how much I disliked that I was growing out of yet another size of my clothes, and knowing that I was being judged for my burgeoning size, it was as if there were a more important mission being guided from within: to be a blimp.
So what has changed? I honestly don't know what internal thing has shifted. It's like my memory of whatever major inner change I made is shrouded from me. (I like to say that I don't remember because I'm just so in the moment--you have my permission to use that one the next time you can't remember what you did yesterday!)
I have done a bunch of things that have contributed, I'm sure: I chose a number I want to see on the scale and I visualize it whenever I think about it. I did some forgiveness of various events and people. I decided to be more conscious about my eating. I've stopped eating late at night, which was a pattern I'd gotten into. I watched Paul McKenna's "I Can Make You Thin" program on TLC and tapped along (EFT) with him to shift my emotional eating patterns--my eating has always been emotionally based (you can watch and follow along with the EFT videos on his site).
Suddenly, now, when I overeat, I feel horribly nauseous. I don't know of anything I've done to cause that, except to trust my Spirit to do what is needed. Oh, yeah--I did turn over the whole thing--surrendered the weight and the struggle--to my Spirit. I guess that would be the shift, huh?!
Anyway, we shall see how it goes. I really had no idea I had lost any weight at all. What a thrilling surprise! Because however much some part of me wanted to be fat, there is now a desire to be really healthy. Do you think this may be yet another part of re-learning to honor mySelf? I do.
I went to my "chiropractor plus" Friday, and after the last few Good Fridays, he checked me to see if I was okay with it being Good Friday, and I checked out totally clear. I knew I would--I could just tell--but he wanted to muscle test me about it anyway. If you haven't read the entries from Easters past, you may find the ones from 2005 and 2006 to be somewhat interesting...
Rick and I are having a peaceful weekend. The NCAA Basketball Tournament has been running in the background when it's been on. I've been particularly enjoying watching the games taking place in Raleigh at the RBC center since it's in my favorite area of Raleigh--very near where I used to live--and helps me feel a little like I'm home. UNC is playing right now and for whatever reason, CBS is choosing to show other games instead, much to our chagrin (but it IS giving me the chance to blog!). Rick is a big UNC fan, having been born on the campus, and I'm a fan by default. My family is split--one sister and her husband graduated from Duke, and the other sister graduated from UNC, as did my nephew. My other nephew and my niece graduated from Wake Forest Univ., and a lot of the family lives in Raleigh, home of NC State, so we've got the ACC basically covered. Basketball is HUGE in North Carolina.
ANYWAY, I decided to make a lemon meringue pie to celebrate the holiday, and so spent quite awhile this afternoon on that project. The recipe says it takes 30 minutes to prepare, but I must be extra slow because, including baking the crust, I spent about 2 hours on it what with the lemon zesting and egg-yolk tempering and so on. I am hopeful, but the meringue isn't very high even though I whipped it to the stiff-peak stage and even used extra egg white. It must be the altitude or something...or, perhaps, the egg whites didn't like the sugar substitutes I used. I used lo han sweetener and erythritol (my trade for the xylitol that threatened to kill Lilah) because I just don't like what sugar does to me anymore. But I bet it will be good anyway.
I was extremely touched to have received "povitica" from my dear friend, Andrena, who made the traditional yeast bread from scratch and mailed it to me from her home near New Orleans. It is, apparently, quite a production, involving rolling out vast amounts of dough, then sprinkling with chopped walnuts and other goodies, and rolling it up to fit into a loaf pan and baking. You slice it like bread and when you do, it reveals lots and lots of spiraled thin layers, like a super-fine jellyroll. Yum. It's sweet--but not very--and just plain addictive. It's an old Croatian specialty that Andrena learned from her grandmother, and I am so honored she made it for me! I froze half of it since I've been looking to stop the runaway weight gain (and have been successful lately), but the way Rick and I have been hitting on it, I may need to thaw the other half soon!
