And then there was one.
Today, our little mouse, Christina Aguilera, a.k.a. "Tina," made her transition. I spotted what I thought was her lifeless body, lying on its side looking for all the world like a mouse in rigor mortis on the main floor of their habitat this morning, but when I went to pick her up, I was startled by movement. She was not gone--just on her way. It took her most of the day, but she made the transition sometime in the last couple of hours.
She was our speedy mouse, always streaking from place to place, and the most beautiful little mouse I've ever seen. She was the most skittish of the 3 of them, but in the last few weeks during her decline into old age, she had become less willing to bolt whenever we'd approach. Either she just didn't have the energy, or, what I'd love to believe is that she finally realized we loved her and would never harm her. It was probably the former, but I will go with what makes me feel best!
So now, with Britty and Tina both in Mouse Heaven, there's just Nettie left, and she's been in a more visible state of decline than Tina for months now. While even up till yesterday, Tina was eating round the clock, Nettie has only been dragging herself out of the sock (their haven) for one, maybe 2 meals a day, and hardly eating even then.
They say female mice die of broken hearts when left alone without one of their own. I pray that is not the case for Nettie. I think she's well on her way already, and I do hope she doesn't suffer. Meanwhile, she's the mouse that is most interactive with us and who doesn't mind me picking her up when need be, so in a way, she may be the best candidate for last one standing.
I never expected to love those little creatures so much. I don't think you can measure the size of a Spirit. While Tina weighed mere ounces and her body was tiny, her Spirit was as large as anyone's. I am honored to have been her steward. But I don't think this human heart can handle getting that attached again to creatures that have such a brief life expectancy. My mouse-mom days are drawing to a close. I just hope I can give Nettie what she needs to make her last days comfortable.
An update on my physical transformation is in the works--I just haven't quite gotten it done. Soon!
Today, our little mouse, Christina Aguilera, a.k.a. "Tina," made her transition. I spotted what I thought was her lifeless body, lying on its side looking for all the world like a mouse in rigor mortis on the main floor of their habitat this morning, but when I went to pick her up, I was startled by movement. She was not gone--just on her way. It took her most of the day, but she made the transition sometime in the last couple of hours.
She was our speedy mouse, always streaking from place to place, and the most beautiful little mouse I've ever seen. She was the most skittish of the 3 of them, but in the last few weeks during her decline into old age, she had become less willing to bolt whenever we'd approach. Either she just didn't have the energy, or, what I'd love to believe is that she finally realized we loved her and would never harm her. It was probably the former, but I will go with what makes me feel best!
So now, with Britty and Tina both in Mouse Heaven, there's just Nettie left, and she's been in a more visible state of decline than Tina for months now. While even up till yesterday, Tina was eating round the clock, Nettie has only been dragging herself out of the sock (their haven) for one, maybe 2 meals a day, and hardly eating even then.
They say female mice die of broken hearts when left alone without one of their own. I pray that is not the case for Nettie. I think she's well on her way already, and I do hope she doesn't suffer. Meanwhile, she's the mouse that is most interactive with us and who doesn't mind me picking her up when need be, so in a way, she may be the best candidate for last one standing.
I never expected to love those little creatures so much. I don't think you can measure the size of a Spirit. While Tina weighed mere ounces and her body was tiny, her Spirit was as large as anyone's. I am honored to have been her steward. But I don't think this human heart can handle getting that attached again to creatures that have such a brief life expectancy. My mouse-mom days are drawing to a close. I just hope I can give Nettie what she needs to make her last days comfortable.
An update on my physical transformation is in the works--I just haven't quite gotten it done. Soon!
In the early 1980s, as I was just undergoing the profound spiritual awakening I tell about in the Introduction to Recreating Eden, this song was ascending the pop charts, and even in Japan where I was living, it became a big hit. The first time I listened to the words, I cried tears of joy.
What really gets to me is the line, "And all I ask of you is that you love as I do." Exactly. That's the whole thing. That's the key to ascension--the path to Paradise--the way to heaven!
I still cry joyful tears most every time I listen. I was listening to it yesterday and was so moved, I decided I need to share it with you. (Simply disregard the terms "sinful" and "evil" if they don't fit your views.) This is a powerful song. It's great dance music, very uplifting, and definitely worth downloading from the iTunes Store (or your favorite music vendor) if you can. Be sure to note who composed the music and co-wrote the song.
Oh--and a little aside: When some friends and I were leaving a Tokyo disco one Saturday night, we encountered several very large and very charismatic Rastafarians, whom we learned were members of Third World, the reggae band who made this song a hit. I thought *I* stood out in Japan, being almost 5' 10" and blond, but compared to these larger-than-life, radiant Rastas with their major dreadlocks, I barely rated a second glance!
Third World - Try Jah Love Lyrics
Album: You've Got the Power
Music by Stevie Wonder
Lyrics by Stevie Wonder and Melody A. McCully
A lonely soul was I without direction
I didn't know which way that I had to go
I sought the clues to life's unanswered
questions
My mind's heart had to know
I heard you call while wandering through
the darkness
I'd walk a million miles to find that endless
voice
That speaks to me when I am in temptation
Echoing my choice
Then you said, "Seek ye shall find
I've been with you through all time"
(Chorus "A")
"And if you're thirsty I will quench you
With my love
And if you're hungry I will feed you
With my word
And all I ask of you is that you love as I do'
(Chorus "B")
"And if you lose your way I'll lead you
To my love
From a sinful life I'll cleanse you
In my love
For creation bears a witness of my love"
(Repeat once)
I know that
(Chorus "C")
You should know it's time for the world to
(Try Jah Love)
The only love that can bring peace is
(Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try, try
Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
I know that
Without it there'd be no tomorrow (Try Jah Love)
Who lifts broken hearts up from sorrow
(Try Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
I know that
(Chorus "C" -repeat once)
You know that
(Chorus "C" -repeat once)
(Guitar Solo)
A timeless thought a touch of close encounter
Your love embraced me and took over my life
And now I'm new your strength has made me
Change my ways from wrong to right
Please Father please this world we live
has faltered
Deliver us from all this evil and pain
God Bless the heart that loves unto his brother
Praising out your Name
Then he said, "Be not Afraid
Those who believe I will save"
(Chorus "A" -repeat)
I wonder
When will the world wake up and start to
(Try Jah Love)
People have to make up their mind to
(Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
I know that
Once you begin you won't regret you
(Try Jah Love)
The ultimate life satisfaction (Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
You know that
There's no excuse for no one not to
(Try Jah Love)
You'll be grateful you let inside you
(Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
I know that
But Right is the only reason to (Try Jah Love)
The key to inner satisfaction (Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
Try Jah Love
Jah,Jah Love
Try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
What really gets to me is the line, "And all I ask of you is that you love as I do." Exactly. That's the whole thing. That's the key to ascension--the path to Paradise--the way to heaven!
I still cry joyful tears most every time I listen. I was listening to it yesterday and was so moved, I decided I need to share it with you. (Simply disregard the terms "sinful" and "evil" if they don't fit your views.) This is a powerful song. It's great dance music, very uplifting, and definitely worth downloading from the iTunes Store (or your favorite music vendor) if you can. Be sure to note who composed the music and co-wrote the song.
Oh--and a little aside: When some friends and I were leaving a Tokyo disco one Saturday night, we encountered several very large and very charismatic Rastafarians, whom we learned were members of Third World, the reggae band who made this song a hit. I thought *I* stood out in Japan, being almost 5' 10" and blond, but compared to these larger-than-life, radiant Rastas with their major dreadlocks, I barely rated a second glance!
Third World - Try Jah Love Lyrics
Album: You've Got the Power
Music by Stevie Wonder
Lyrics by Stevie Wonder and Melody A. McCully
A lonely soul was I without direction
I didn't know which way that I had to go
I sought the clues to life's unanswered
questions
My mind's heart had to know
I heard you call while wandering through
the darkness
I'd walk a million miles to find that endless
voice
That speaks to me when I am in temptation
Echoing my choice
Then you said, "Seek ye shall find
I've been with you through all time"
(Chorus "A")
"And if you're thirsty I will quench you
With my love
And if you're hungry I will feed you
With my word
And all I ask of you is that you love as I do'
(Chorus "B")
"And if you lose your way I'll lead you
To my love
From a sinful life I'll cleanse you
In my love
For creation bears a witness of my love"
(Repeat once)
I know that
(Chorus "C")
You should know it's time for the world to
(Try Jah Love)
The only love that can bring peace is
(Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try, try
Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
I know that
Without it there'd be no tomorrow (Try Jah Love)
Who lifts broken hearts up from sorrow
(Try Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
I know that
(Chorus "C" -repeat once)
You know that
(Chorus "C" -repeat once)
(Guitar Solo)
A timeless thought a touch of close encounter
Your love embraced me and took over my life
And now I'm new your strength has made me
Change my ways from wrong to right
Please Father please this world we live
has faltered
Deliver us from all this evil and pain
God Bless the heart that loves unto his brother
Praising out your Name
Then he said, "Be not Afraid
Those who believe I will save"
(Chorus "A" -repeat)
I wonder
When will the world wake up and start to
(Try Jah Love)
People have to make up their mind to
(Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
I know that
Once you begin you won't regret you
(Try Jah Love)
The ultimate life satisfaction (Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
You know that
There's no excuse for no one not to
(Try Jah Love)
You'll be grateful you let inside you
(Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
I know that
But Right is the only reason to (Try Jah Love)
The key to inner satisfaction (Jah, Jah Love)
So won't you try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
Try Jah Love
Jah,Jah Love
Try, try, try, try, try, try Jah Love
Love,Love,Love,Love
Last night, as I
watched one of our two remaining elderly pet mice struggling to return
to the sock hideout where she seems most comfortable, in what appear to
be her last days, I found myself crying and feeling really bad for her.
"Knock it off," my inner voice said. "You do not do her any favors by feeling bad for her. She's not a victim--she's having her own experience of being God in mouse form in the reality matrix called duality."
But it felt good to me--a relief, at least--to allow myself, if only for a moment to have those feelings and shed those tears. Her struggles weren't alleviated by my having them, but perhaps my own were. Resisting Difficult World only puts you deeper in Difficult World! And wallowing in it beyond the point where the energy is released does the same thing. Pay attention to where you are in your process to know whether you're in resistance or non-resistance as it can flip in a nano-second. Non-resistance is the key to higher frequency.
As human beings, with the capacity for compassion and empathy, we do walk a fine line between allowing ourselves to relieve the stress that builds up as we spend time in Difficult World, triggered by what we see in the mirror of our surroundings, and maintaining our confidence in the Divine Order of it all. Because even when we don't understand it, all that occurs really is in Divine Order. When we fall into the trap of seeing what is happening as wrong, we ensure that we are more ensconced in Difficult World than ever. And when you're in Difficult World, you can be sure that difficulty and pain will be there with you.
So, after indulging for a moment in feeling sorry for Nettie (the mouse), I realized that, indeed, I was not helping her or myself beyond my release of built-up energy that flowed out in my tears and my temporary indulgence in victimhood. To empower the situtation, I needed to be clear so I could do what is needed.
As I thought about this, I thought, too, about the earthquake in Haiti, and I realized that feeling bad about it and empathizing with the people who are involved at close range is of no value beyond releasing my own stress and being non-resistant. It surely doesn't help them.
You might say, "Well, those feelings might motivate you to do something in a practical sense to help."
Yes--but remember, your wisdom and access to divine guidance is available at higher vibrational frequency, not lower. So, after releasing the sad energy, the way to assure that what you do to help is in alignment with the Design for Harmony, re-affirming Divine Order and moving back to higher vibrational frequency is the way to assure that your actions will be of the highest possible service. Radiating Love is the most potent thing you can do, and being caught up in painful feelings doesn't allow you to do that effectively.
If you haven't yet donated to helping the people of Haiti, consider Partners In Health, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that has been in Haiti for 2 decades and is staffed mostly by Haitians.
"Knock it off," my inner voice said. "You do not do her any favors by feeling bad for her. She's not a victim--she's having her own experience of being God in mouse form in the reality matrix called duality."
But it felt good to me--a relief, at least--to allow myself, if only for a moment to have those feelings and shed those tears. Her struggles weren't alleviated by my having them, but perhaps my own were. Resisting Difficult World only puts you deeper in Difficult World! And wallowing in it beyond the point where the energy is released does the same thing. Pay attention to where you are in your process to know whether you're in resistance or non-resistance as it can flip in a nano-second. Non-resistance is the key to higher frequency.
As human beings, with the capacity for compassion and empathy, we do walk a fine line between allowing ourselves to relieve the stress that builds up as we spend time in Difficult World, triggered by what we see in the mirror of our surroundings, and maintaining our confidence in the Divine Order of it all. Because even when we don't understand it, all that occurs really is in Divine Order. When we fall into the trap of seeing what is happening as wrong, we ensure that we are more ensconced in Difficult World than ever. And when you're in Difficult World, you can be sure that difficulty and pain will be there with you.
So, after indulging for a moment in feeling sorry for Nettie (the mouse), I realized that, indeed, I was not helping her or myself beyond my release of built-up energy that flowed out in my tears and my temporary indulgence in victimhood. To empower the situtation, I needed to be clear so I could do what is needed.
As I thought about this, I thought, too, about the earthquake in Haiti, and I realized that feeling bad about it and empathizing with the people who are involved at close range is of no value beyond releasing my own stress and being non-resistant. It surely doesn't help them.
You might say, "Well, those feelings might motivate you to do something in a practical sense to help."
Yes--but remember, your wisdom and access to divine guidance is available at higher vibrational frequency, not lower. So, after releasing the sad energy, the way to assure that what you do to help is in alignment with the Design for Harmony, re-affirming Divine Order and moving back to higher vibrational frequency is the way to assure that your actions will be of the highest possible service. Radiating Love is the most potent thing you can do, and being caught up in painful feelings doesn't allow you to do that effectively.
If you haven't yet donated to helping the people of Haiti, consider Partners In Health, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that has been in Haiti for 2 decades and is staffed mostly by Haitians.
I've been home
since very late Friday night, but I'm not sure all of me has been! Two
intense days of travel really knocked me back a ways, but I'm finally
catching up with myself again, though I still feel part of me is
somewhere over Kansas, if not the Atlantic!
I left Marbella headed to the airport in Malaga early Thursday morning in the dark and the pouring rain, but thankfully, I had a wonderful taxi driver who is the brother of someone who works at the clinic and he was very helpful and kept me from getting soaked. What might have been a tense ride in the deluge was made pleasant because of his extreme care in driving and his kind assistance. He even went into the terminal and got a wheelchair for me and brought my bags in and stayed with me till I was all checked in. What a nice guy--just like everyone associated with the clinic--in fact, almost everyone in Spain from my experience! Love the Spanish people. So great..
The flight from Marbella to Madrid was delayed due to lightning--they needed to refuel and couldn't with the lighning so close, so I did my best to stay in Easy World and not worry about missing my flight from Madrid to NYC, and sure enough, making a long story short, I made it just in the nick of time, thank goodness. The flight across the ocean was uneventful, and I sat next to a lovely young Spanish woman who was headed to NYC for a week of sightseeing with friends. She'd never been to the US, so it was really fun to talk to her about her plans.
Once in NYC, I had good help with bags and such and Customs did not even look at a single thing I brought in which was a wise call since I didn't buy anything at all. While I'd usually find this on the edge of offensive, my heart was warmed when the immigration control guy, in his Queens accent, said, "Welcome home, sweetheart" after checking my passport. As much as I enjoyed being in Spain, it was good to be home.
I was totally wiped out once I got to my hotel--a nice boutique hotel in Manhattan (the Affinia Dumont in Murray Hill)--and was surprised and delighted to discover that they had the exact same high thread count cotton linens and down comforter as I'd had at the clinic! Really, really nice. And they have a pillow menu, so they had my pillow selections on the bed. It was a lovely night's sleep. Their staff was aces, too.They were all just wonderful.
On Friday, I met with the marketing and publicity folks from St. Martin's Press for a yummy Indian lunch at Tabla. They were all awesome. The four of us had a lively conversation and they are very much into Easy World! The head of marketing even told us his own EW story he believes came about as the result of reading the book when it happened. Love that! It is very encouraging that the folks in charge of getting the word out about Choosing Easy World "get" Easy World and understand the power of the book itself to cause a reality shift for its readers! They have some great plans for marketing CEW--yay!
After lunch, I headed back to the hotel where a car and driver had been ordered to take me to La Guardia so I'd be sure to have assistance with my stuff, etc. Worked out great. I got there very early out of an abundance of caution, so there was a lot of sitting and waiting. Finally, almost 3 hours later, my flight left for Dallas, and then after that, I got a flight to Denver. I kept choosing Easy World for sure because the flight to Denver was the last one of the night and by this time, I did NOT wish to spend the night away from home again! But things went as smoothly as can be, and I got to the baggage carousel in Denver around 11:00 and home just before midnight.
I was thrilled that stepdaughter #3 and her boyfriend had also come, so I not only had Rick waiting, but a lovely surprise!
Wasn't planning such a long description of my trip home, but there it is anyway! Oh--one of the main things that has made my re-entry such a challenge is that I was really, really hungry, and made the mistake of eating some airline food on the way (a lot of stuff I really am not to eat like bread, cheese and sugar) and with my system all cleared out as it was, it did not serve me well at all (aching joints, weakness, general yuck), so I'm still recovering from that and the trip itself, but as I said, I'm coming around! I'm eating lots of fruit and drinking green smoothies (kale & banana, primarily) and no animal products and just generally taking care of myself. It's been a little discouraging after having been in such fine shape when I left the clinic to be feeling less than great now, but I'm devoted to getting back to feeling fine and SOON!
I left Marbella headed to the airport in Malaga early Thursday morning in the dark and the pouring rain, but thankfully, I had a wonderful taxi driver who is the brother of someone who works at the clinic and he was very helpful and kept me from getting soaked. What might have been a tense ride in the deluge was made pleasant because of his extreme care in driving and his kind assistance. He even went into the terminal and got a wheelchair for me and brought my bags in and stayed with me till I was all checked in. What a nice guy--just like everyone associated with the clinic--in fact, almost everyone in Spain from my experience! Love the Spanish people. So great..
The flight from Marbella to Madrid was delayed due to lightning--they needed to refuel and couldn't with the lighning so close, so I did my best to stay in Easy World and not worry about missing my flight from Madrid to NYC, and sure enough, making a long story short, I made it just in the nick of time, thank goodness. The flight across the ocean was uneventful, and I sat next to a lovely young Spanish woman who was headed to NYC for a week of sightseeing with friends. She'd never been to the US, so it was really fun to talk to her about her plans.
Once in NYC, I had good help with bags and such and Customs did not even look at a single thing I brought in which was a wise call since I didn't buy anything at all. While I'd usually find this on the edge of offensive, my heart was warmed when the immigration control guy, in his Queens accent, said, "Welcome home, sweetheart" after checking my passport. As much as I enjoyed being in Spain, it was good to be home.
I was totally wiped out once I got to my hotel--a nice boutique hotel in Manhattan (the Affinia Dumont in Murray Hill)--and was surprised and delighted to discover that they had the exact same high thread count cotton linens and down comforter as I'd had at the clinic! Really, really nice. And they have a pillow menu, so they had my pillow selections on the bed. It was a lovely night's sleep. Their staff was aces, too.They were all just wonderful.
On Friday, I met with the marketing and publicity folks from St. Martin's Press for a yummy Indian lunch at Tabla. They were all awesome. The four of us had a lively conversation and they are very much into Easy World! The head of marketing even told us his own EW story he believes came about as the result of reading the book when it happened. Love that! It is very encouraging that the folks in charge of getting the word out about Choosing Easy World "get" Easy World and understand the power of the book itself to cause a reality shift for its readers! They have some great plans for marketing CEW--yay!
After lunch, I headed back to the hotel where a car and driver had been ordered to take me to La Guardia so I'd be sure to have assistance with my stuff, etc. Worked out great. I got there very early out of an abundance of caution, so there was a lot of sitting and waiting. Finally, almost 3 hours later, my flight left for Dallas, and then after that, I got a flight to Denver. I kept choosing Easy World for sure because the flight to Denver was the last one of the night and by this time, I did NOT wish to spend the night away from home again! But things went as smoothly as can be, and I got to the baggage carousel in Denver around 11:00 and home just before midnight.
I was thrilled that stepdaughter #3 and her boyfriend had also come, so I not only had Rick waiting, but a lovely surprise!
Wasn't planning such a long description of my trip home, but there it is anyway! Oh--one of the main things that has made my re-entry such a challenge is that I was really, really hungry, and made the mistake of eating some airline food on the way (a lot of stuff I really am not to eat like bread, cheese and sugar) and with my system all cleared out as it was, it did not serve me well at all (aching joints, weakness, general yuck), so I'm still recovering from that and the trip itself, but as I said, I'm coming around! I'm eating lots of fruit and drinking green smoothies (kale & banana, primarily) and no animal products and just generally taking care of myself. It's been a little discouraging after having been in such fine shape when I left the clinic to be feeling less than great now, but I'm devoted to getting back to feeling fine and SOON!
I find myself in
a strange space this morning. I don't mean the clinic--it's not strange
at all. It's become home to me. Not, obviously, my primary home, but a
place that is now so familiar as to feel like home--the sights, the
sounds, the nurturing, the atmosphere. That's really one of the roots
of the strange feeling, I believe. Tomorrow is my last full day here,
and I leave early a.m. Thursday for NYC and then Denver after an
overnight in Manhattan. I'm so ready to leave, and yet, I never want to
leave!
I've accomplished so much here. I've dropped a lot of my excess baggage, both body weight, a lot of pain, and just miscellaneous accumulated emotional "stuff" that came with me. But I feel I still have a long way to go. So it's not just the familiarity that has me sad to leave, it's the feeling that if I'd had more time here out of the stream of my everyday life--more time to fast and heal--perhaps....
I find myself wanting to judge and blame myself for not getting more done while here: more healing, more weightloss, more clarifying, more appreciating, and on and on. I spent the first 2 weeks here in a fog, and I seem to want to punish myself for not being more present. But I know that's just the Difficult World Dictator doing his best to detract from what I have experienced and accomplished here and what I'll experience in the next couple of days. I haven't left yet!
I know it will be wonderful to see Rick and the dogs again. Rick has been a trooper, but he is not eager to have me stay away this long again anytime soon! And neither will the pups be. I will be so happy for Roly, especially, to see me. As a rescue dog who got passed around a lot as a puppy, he especially doesn't like it when the status quo at home is disturbed. Heck, he doesn't even like it when I go to the bathroom and shut the door! (I don't know where he thinks the secret escape route is in my bathroom, but seems he's always afraid I'll use it!) Rick's been telling him what's going on all along, "She's coming home--just not today," but I don't know if he's received the message!
Anyway, I'll be leaving from the Malaga Airport going to Madrid, where I'll board a plane for NYC. I have a layover there Thurs. night and then Friday, I'll have lunch with Tara Cibelli of St. Martin's Press, who is the marketing manager for Choosing Easy World, before heading to Denver, via Dallas. It's kind of a protracted journey back, but perhaps the Universe just knows that a gradual re-entry will be most effective.
I'll be posting photos from here once I get home. I've been taking pictures, but the software on my computer is for our newer camera and I have the old one, so haven't been able to upload. Till then...
I've accomplished so much here. I've dropped a lot of my excess baggage, both body weight, a lot of pain, and just miscellaneous accumulated emotional "stuff" that came with me. But I feel I still have a long way to go. So it's not just the familiarity that has me sad to leave, it's the feeling that if I'd had more time here out of the stream of my everyday life--more time to fast and heal--perhaps....
I find myself wanting to judge and blame myself for not getting more done while here: more healing, more weightloss, more clarifying, more appreciating, and on and on. I spent the first 2 weeks here in a fog, and I seem to want to punish myself for not being more present. But I know that's just the Difficult World Dictator doing his best to detract from what I have experienced and accomplished here and what I'll experience in the next couple of days. I haven't left yet!
I know it will be wonderful to see Rick and the dogs again. Rick has been a trooper, but he is not eager to have me stay away this long again anytime soon! And neither will the pups be. I will be so happy for Roly, especially, to see me. As a rescue dog who got passed around a lot as a puppy, he especially doesn't like it when the status quo at home is disturbed. Heck, he doesn't even like it when I go to the bathroom and shut the door! (I don't know where he thinks the secret escape route is in my bathroom, but seems he's always afraid I'll use it!) Rick's been telling him what's going on all along, "She's coming home--just not today," but I don't know if he's received the message!
Anyway, I'll be leaving from the Malaga Airport going to Madrid, where I'll board a plane for NYC. I have a layover there Thurs. night and then Friday, I'll have lunch with Tara Cibelli of St. Martin's Press, who is the marketing manager for Choosing Easy World, before heading to Denver, via Dallas. It's kind of a protracted journey back, but perhaps the Universe just knows that a gradual re-entry will be most effective.
I'll be posting photos from here once I get home. I've been taking pictures, but the software on my computer is for our newer camera and I have the old one, so haven't been able to upload. Till then...
It's day 15 out
of 17 of my fast, and it's doing wonderful things for me. I've dropped
a lot of excess weight--14 lbs. since I've been here, for a total of 28
since October--lost all the puffiness in my face, and my eczema and its beastly itching has
mostly cleared up. I've still been having some arthritis symptoms, but they're lightening up (hallelujah!), and some of the lumps and bumps I
had (rheumatoid nodules) are on the wane. As Rick says, it may not be gone, but it's going in the right direction!
To explain the rest of the subject line, I have the infamous "faster's breath," caused by all the metabolizing going on inside. Even *I* cannot stand the smell of it when I catch a whiff from time to time! Seriously--sewage smells better. My tongue and teeth are "wearing sweaters," and I'm brushing my teeth more than usual just for relief! That will clear up once I'm eating again. Meanwhile, thank goodness for Young Living peppermint oil--a drop on the tongue works wonders.
I'm looking forward to breaking the fast on Sunday--I've been dreaming of salads--but at the same time, I would like to keep this up for a long time to see what further magic it can produce. When I get home, rested and centered, I am contemplating doing at least a modified "juice feast," a la David and Katrina Rainoshek (juicefeasting.com) and see just how far I can take this ("modified" as in maybe not for 92 days).
I don't leave the clinic until next Thursday morning, but they insist on at least 4 days of readjustment to eating before you go back home. They have amazing food here, which I had when I first arrived, and so I'm not unhappy to get to eat it again!
Speaking of juicing and raw foods and such, I am captivated by "Dave the Raw Food Trucker." Check out his YouTube videos. He's lost over 200 lbs. and cured himself of colon cancer, type 2 diabetes, and kidney failure. He's amazing. And for those who say "my lifestyle won't let me juice," this guy proves that it can be done. He says he keeps 2 juicers in his truck cab at all times and something like a 400-ft. extension cord to be sure he can get what he needs without fail. I guess if juicing and raw foods had done for me what it's done for him, I'd do that, too!
Happy New Year, everyone! I don't know many of us who will be sad to see 2009 fade into history. Let's allow 2010 to be prosperous, miraculous, fun and EASY!
To explain the rest of the subject line, I have the infamous "faster's breath," caused by all the metabolizing going on inside. Even *I* cannot stand the smell of it when I catch a whiff from time to time! Seriously--sewage smells better. My tongue and teeth are "wearing sweaters," and I'm brushing my teeth more than usual just for relief! That will clear up once I'm eating again. Meanwhile, thank goodness for Young Living peppermint oil--a drop on the tongue works wonders.
I'm looking forward to breaking the fast on Sunday--I've been dreaming of salads--but at the same time, I would like to keep this up for a long time to see what further magic it can produce. When I get home, rested and centered, I am contemplating doing at least a modified "juice feast," a la David and Katrina Rainoshek (juicefeasting.com) and see just how far I can take this ("modified" as in maybe not for 92 days).
I don't leave the clinic until next Thursday morning, but they insist on at least 4 days of readjustment to eating before you go back home. They have amazing food here, which I had when I first arrived, and so I'm not unhappy to get to eat it again!
Speaking of juicing and raw foods and such, I am captivated by "Dave the Raw Food Trucker." Check out his YouTube videos. He's lost over 200 lbs. and cured himself of colon cancer, type 2 diabetes, and kidney failure. He's amazing. And for those who say "my lifestyle won't let me juice," this guy proves that it can be done. He says he keeps 2 juicers in his truck cab at all times and something like a 400-ft. extension cord to be sure he can get what he needs without fail. I guess if juicing and raw foods had done for me what it's done for him, I'd do that, too!
Happy New Year, everyone! I don't know many of us who will be sad to see 2009 fade into history. Let's allow 2010 to be prosperous, miraculous, fun and EASY!
Today is a day--no matter your
religion--to celebrate the Light within you and nurture it to its
fullness. It is also a day to see the Light within others and nurture
it to its fullness.
How? By refusing to be caught up in the illusions of ego which want to distract you from the Light and want to put you in resistance to the flow of Love. By seeing through others' ego "stuff" all the way through to the Love they really are. By choosing compassion over reaction. By being Love in action, no matter what.
The Love you experience is equal to the Love you allow to radiate. The pain you experience is equal to the amount of shutting down you do. SHINE!
Though the Sanskrit greeting "namaste" is not normally a word associated with Christmas, I say let's keep a namaste consciousness. "The Light within me honors the Light within you."
Have a fun, high-vibe day today, wherever you are and whomever you're with.
Merry Christmas!
How? By refusing to be caught up in the illusions of ego which want to distract you from the Light and want to put you in resistance to the flow of Love. By seeing through others' ego "stuff" all the way through to the Love they really are. By choosing compassion over reaction. By being Love in action, no matter what.
The Love you experience is equal to the Love you allow to radiate. The pain you experience is equal to the amount of shutting down you do. SHINE!
Though the Sanskrit greeting "namaste" is not normally a word associated with Christmas, I say let's keep a namaste consciousness. "The Light within me honors the Light within you."
Have a fun, high-vibe day today, wherever you are and whomever you're with.
Merry Christmas!
Courage is easily accessed by trusting that your Spirit is always taking care of you.
That was the thought that came to me early yesterday morning. I wrote it down on the little pad on my desk here in my room at the clinic.
The day turned out to be something of a Difficult World day. As has been the norm since I arrived here, it poured rain all day--again. I'll confess, all the gray and excess water has been getting to me despite my new affirmation. (See Dec. 21 blog entry) Indeed, the deluge continued through the night and for all morning today, too. But back to yesterday.
In the afternoon I had an appointment for a lymph drainage massage. Problem is, I was having so much pain in my shoulders (inflamed tendons according to lovely Marta, my massage therapist) I really couldn't stay still the way I needed to, though I tried. Much to my embarrassment, I started crying and couldn't stop. We joked that I was getting my lymph drainage after all. She helped me find a tolerable position and did some modifications so we could finish. I was so relieved when it was over--a sad thing when I could have been enjoying a lovely massage were it not for the shoulder pain.
When I got back to my room, I had a further meltdown. I asked Spirit to show me what I need to do to heal the shoulder problems and I cried and cried and cried and found myself begging for help as I was just too low on the vibrational scale to feel a clear connection. Now, I knew from an intellectual level that I didn't need to beg for anything as it is already mine, but I was at such a low point, it was all I could do. I cried on and off for a very long time and figured I must have needed the release. I realized a change I needed to make and so I made it. It was a painful night, but I made it through with some more tears and some more beseeching. Truth be told, the scary part was that I was worried I would not get as far along in my healing while I'm here fasting as I'd like to.
This morning, along with some really strong inspiration about things I can do to heal myself, I spotted the pad where I had written down the insight about courage, and I saw so easily that Spirit really has provided everything already and that I just have to be clear enough to see it. Sometimes that may take a bunch of crying.
Oh--and here's something kinda cool. A lot of my begging was for some clarity on what was going on with my shoulders and what to do. When Rick and I were on Skype last night having a chat, he mentioned that St. Martin's had put Choosing Easy World on Amazon for pre-orders (though without the cover image at this point.) Woohoo! When I went to look at it, there was a notice on the right side of the page that gave me an express checkout pass-phrase (something new Amazon is doing I guess). Here's what it was: "Julia's perplexing health." I took it as a Spirit-wink.
That was the thought that came to me early yesterday morning. I wrote it down on the little pad on my desk here in my room at the clinic.
The day turned out to be something of a Difficult World day. As has been the norm since I arrived here, it poured rain all day--again. I'll confess, all the gray and excess water has been getting to me despite my new affirmation. (See Dec. 21 blog entry) Indeed, the deluge continued through the night and for all morning today, too. But back to yesterday.
In the afternoon I had an appointment for a lymph drainage massage. Problem is, I was having so much pain in my shoulders (inflamed tendons according to lovely Marta, my massage therapist) I really couldn't stay still the way I needed to, though I tried. Much to my embarrassment, I started crying and couldn't stop. We joked that I was getting my lymph drainage after all. She helped me find a tolerable position and did some modifications so we could finish. I was so relieved when it was over--a sad thing when I could have been enjoying a lovely massage were it not for the shoulder pain.
When I got back to my room, I had a further meltdown. I asked Spirit to show me what I need to do to heal the shoulder problems and I cried and cried and cried and found myself begging for help as I was just too low on the vibrational scale to feel a clear connection. Now, I knew from an intellectual level that I didn't need to beg for anything as it is already mine, but I was at such a low point, it was all I could do. I cried on and off for a very long time and figured I must have needed the release. I realized a change I needed to make and so I made it. It was a painful night, but I made it through with some more tears and some more beseeching. Truth be told, the scary part was that I was worried I would not get as far along in my healing while I'm here fasting as I'd like to.
This morning, along with some really strong inspiration about things I can do to heal myself, I spotted the pad where I had written down the insight about courage, and I saw so easily that Spirit really has provided everything already and that I just have to be clear enough to see it. Sometimes that may take a bunch of crying.
Oh--and here's something kinda cool. A lot of my begging was for some clarity on what was going on with my shoulders and what to do. When Rick and I were on Skype last night having a chat, he mentioned that St. Martin's had put Choosing Easy World on Amazon for pre-orders (though without the cover image at this point.) Woohoo! When I went to look at it, there was a notice on the right side of the page that gave me an express checkout pass-phrase (something new Amazon is doing I guess). Here's what it was: "Julia's perplexing health." I took it as a Spirit-wink.
Here at Clinica Buchinger, I've received first class treatment all the way. The staff here--from the doctors to the housekeeping ladies--is a team of caring, nurturing professionals and it astounds me how efficient they are. They make sure you get everything you need, and right away. Kind of like the Universe does if you allow it!
So though I've requested many things since I've been here, I don't know why I hesitated to ask for a certain other few things--guess I didn't want to be perceived as a royal pain in the you-know-where.
This morning, I asked. I won't go into what I asked for, but suffice to say, all three requests were honored with a smile and within 10 minutes.
Oh--one thing I asked for this morning, I did not ask the staff for--I asked my Self for. I have been a little isolated as I am on a different fasting plan than the others, and so I receive my juices, etc. in my room. Another issue is that I can only speak the tiniest bit of Spanish, and though there are English speakers here, most speak Spanish or German. As an extrovert, that has left me a little lonely. So, this morning, I said, "Please provide me with a little more social interaction."
As I was leaving my morning app't with the nurse, one of the staff members fluent in English was outside her office, talking with another patient. We had a conversation about her gorgeous--but wet--shoes (she had stepped in a rain puddle on the way into work), and while we were talking, several other people came by and greeted me. Not a big demonstration, but I only asked for "a little more."
I love the way it's already all provided--you just have to show up to Easy World and pick up your goodies!
So though I've requested many things since I've been here, I don't know why I hesitated to ask for a certain other few things--guess I didn't want to be perceived as a royal pain in the you-know-where.
This morning, I asked. I won't go into what I asked for, but suffice to say, all three requests were honored with a smile and within 10 minutes.
Oh--one thing I asked for this morning, I did not ask the staff for--I asked my Self for. I have been a little isolated as I am on a different fasting plan than the others, and so I receive my juices, etc. in my room. Another issue is that I can only speak the tiniest bit of Spanish, and though there are English speakers here, most speak Spanish or German. As an extrovert, that has left me a little lonely. So, this morning, I said, "Please provide me with a little more social interaction."
As I was leaving my morning app't with the nurse, one of the staff members fluent in English was outside her office, talking with another patient. We had a conversation about her gorgeous--but wet--shoes (she had stepped in a rain puddle on the way into work), and while we were talking, several other people came by and greeted me. Not a big demonstration, but I only asked for "a little more."
I love the way it's already all provided--you just have to show up to Easy World and pick up your goodies!
Here is
something you've never read on this blog before: It's 7:05 a.m. as I
write this, and I've been up for well over an hour. I may be turning
into a morning person! Well, here in Spain, anyway, where there's an
8-hour difference in time from the Mountain Time Zone that is
headquarters for me these days.
I've been sleeping quite a lot here at the clinic, and I take that as a healing sign. Seems just after afternoon tea, around 3:30, I feel a heavy veil of drowsiness come over me (I've been meaning to ask the nurse if there's some sleep-inducing herb in there) and I am absolutely compelled to take a nap and I just don't want to get up once I'm sleeping. It almost feels like I'm in the poppy field scene in the Wizard of Oz. I usually then (reluctantly) get up around 7:00 p.m. and the wait for evening veggie broth to come around 8:20 (I guess Spanish culture = late dinner). That usually wakes me up so that I either talk to Rick via Skype, or read or play on the computer, or all of the above and then go back to sleep before midnight. Very different for me!
How did I manage to be here on the Costa del Sol during the rainy season? It's been pouring rain steadily since sometime in the middle of the night Sunday (When I first woke up in the night and heard it, I thought someone in another room was taking a shower, but it was the rain on the balcony.). The locals are very happy because they've had a hot, dry autumn, and rain is a blessing. BUT, after the cold, gray and snow in Denver, I've really been craving sunshine. Being one whose moods seem to match the light levels, I had been psyched to be here, where there are reportedly 330 sunny days per year. Seems I've chosen to be here 23 days during the 35 non-sunny ones! So, I am convincing myself to relax and appreciate what is, because right now, it sure ain't sunny! My new affirmation: No matter the weather, the sun of my Spirit is always dazzlingly bright within me.
Speaking of darkness and weather and such: Happy Winter Solstice! Today is a day to celebrate the growth that is happening in the darkness of the unseen realms--that which hides beneath rest and stillness. Take a healing nap today if you can, or simply sleep mindfully and with appreciation tonight--it's a grand way to celebrate the current cycle!
I've been sleeping quite a lot here at the clinic, and I take that as a healing sign. Seems just after afternoon tea, around 3:30, I feel a heavy veil of drowsiness come over me (I've been meaning to ask the nurse if there's some sleep-inducing herb in there) and I am absolutely compelled to take a nap and I just don't want to get up once I'm sleeping. It almost feels like I'm in the poppy field scene in the Wizard of Oz. I usually then (reluctantly) get up around 7:00 p.m. and the wait for evening veggie broth to come around 8:20 (I guess Spanish culture = late dinner). That usually wakes me up so that I either talk to Rick via Skype, or read or play on the computer, or all of the above and then go back to sleep before midnight. Very different for me!
How did I manage to be here on the Costa del Sol during the rainy season? It's been pouring rain steadily since sometime in the middle of the night Sunday (When I first woke up in the night and heard it, I thought someone in another room was taking a shower, but it was the rain on the balcony.). The locals are very happy because they've had a hot, dry autumn, and rain is a blessing. BUT, after the cold, gray and snow in Denver, I've really been craving sunshine. Being one whose moods seem to match the light levels, I had been psyched to be here, where there are reportedly 330 sunny days per year. Seems I've chosen to be here 23 days during the 35 non-sunny ones! So, I am convincing myself to relax and appreciate what is, because right now, it sure ain't sunny! My new affirmation: No matter the weather, the sun of my Spirit is always dazzlingly bright within me.
Speaking of darkness and weather and such: Happy Winter Solstice! Today is a day to celebrate the growth that is happening in the darkness of the unseen realms--that which hides beneath rest and stillness. Take a healing nap today if you can, or simply sleep mindfully and with appreciation tonight--it's a grand way to celebrate the current cycle!
