The Red Diamond
I was wanting to direct someone to this story and couldn't find it on the blog anywhere, so I must have never posted it before! So here it is...
The Red Diamond: How My Soulmate Came to Me
As of September 26, 1997, it had been almost 18 years since my first husband and I divorced, 9 years since my last serious boyfriend, and 8 years since my last real date. While I longed for partnership, and had made list after list of the qualities I wanted in a mate, I always added, “someday” to my thoughts about being with that special man of my longings.
You see, like pretty much everyone else, I had experienced pain in relationships because of limiting beliefs and unhealthy behavioral patterns taken on in my Earth sojourn, and I was determined to protect myself from more of the pain. The last relationship I had manifested had been the last straw in a string of relationships with unavailable men, mirroring my own belief that I was the “good time girl,” and not the one men wanted to marry. While I longed for partnership, intimacy and deep committment, I had taken on a belief that I couldn’t have it. The last man I had been involved with was a perfect mirror for my fear. We got very, very close, then he got scared, and pulled away. That hurt so badly, I swore off relationships until I could perfect myself to the point I’d never draw in another unavailable man as long as I lived.
I had been intently “working on myself” for many years, doing all I knew how to clear out old, damaging belief systems, to grow spiritually, and to heal myself so that the next relationship I would create would be healthy, harmonious, intimate and committed. I had deliberately pulled the plug on any relationship that smacked at all of my old pattern, signifying to the Universe that I was not just paying lip service to the concept—I was serious about shifting it. I was trying in earnest to be sure that I would not attract yet another dysfunctional relationship, and I was not about to open myself to a relationship until I felt I was no longer vulnerable to the old patterns.
Even though I was at the pinnacle of my physical attractiveness, I had not even had one nibble in eight years, nor even a mild heart flutter! Sure—I’d had some male admiration, but no approaches. It was almost as if I were wearing a neon sign saying, “Stay away!” And truthfully, it suited me just fine—I never even felt unhappy about it, and never came across anyone I’d be really interested in. My inner sense of things and my outer experience were matching up just right as far as I was concerned. Still, I worked on my list for that right man of the future. He would be funny, kind, affectionate, easy-going, willing to grow, and on the same wavelength spiritually as I.
This last qualification was the kicker. Having a nowhere-near-mainstream spiritual perspective, and not having found, at the time, anyone, male or female, who seemed to see things the way that I saw them, it seemed like it would be quite impossible to magnetize someone who looked at things as I did. And it seemed really safe when I declared that I would not ever have a relationship with anyone who didn’t share the same spiritual wavelength, since I had little or no confidence such a man existed! As a game to prove to myself it was impossible, I said to the Universe, “If there is such a man, please show me a sign.” Having taken a workshop on “signs and wonders,” and having been told it is crucial to choose a specific sign so you’ll know when you’ve received it from God, I decided to make my sign something I had never heard of, and the idea of a “red diamond” popped into mind. I then said to the Universe, “If there is a man for me who meets my stringent qualifications, please show me a red diamond, and do so within the next 24 hours.” Not only was I pretty sure there was no such thing as a red diamond, I had no plans to leave my house in the next 24 hours, so I felt it was a sure bet there would be no confirming sign, and I could rest in smug safety—and a little disappointment—that no “man of my dreams” existed.
That evening, as I channel surfed, I came upon a shopping channel, and the image on the screen was a red faceted stone, a red zircon, and the chirpy host was saying, “This isn’t like a ruby, it’s much more like a red diamond.” A chill ran up my spine. But I thought, “she is probably making that up—there’s probably not such a thing as a red diamond.” And I went to get my gem and mineral book to see if, by any minute chance, there was a listing for a red diamond. There, in full color, was a photo of the “extremely rare red diamond”! It was clear to me that God was telling me that there was, indeed that very rare man that would be just right for me, and that he would come to me “someday”…when I was ready.
Ready came sooner than I expected! On September 25, 1997, just a few weeks after I saw my sign, I wandered into the book department of a large discount chain store, and was drawn to a book, The Unimaginable Life, by Kenny Loggins and his wife, Julia, about their relationship. I bought it and immediately began to devour it. It was so intimate, and so revelatory and so rich with feeling, I found myself wanting what they had. They had acknowledged that their relationship was a sacred spiritual path, and in reading it, I realized that growing in relationship with someone is like taking a graduate course in spiritual growth, and with spiritual growth being my prime focus, I knew it was what I needed as my next step. As I turned the last page, I said, haltingly, to the Universe, “I’m ready now to grow spiritually within an intimate relationship with a man.”
That was September 26, 1997. Just after I finished the book, I went online to visit Kenny’s website because the book had advertised that there was a forum for people interested in the principles in The Unimaginable Life. There, I saw a message from a nice man named Rick, who lived in Denver. We became email buddies, and then, after some weeks, lovers. Miraculously, his spiritual understandings were so on par with mine that when I read a spiritual essay that he had written, I wondered if I, myself, had written it! He matched all the other qualifications on my list except some silly ones—instead of the six foot tall guy I’d asked for, he was 5’11 and a half! On May 31, 1999, a year and a
half after we met, Rick and I were married, and we have been growing in love ever since.
I learned from that experience that the Universe is so very ready to provide for you, you just need to say “Yes!” with gusto, and in your blessing will flow!
©2006 Julia Rogers Hamrick, author of Recreating Eden
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