Finding My Soulmate: Part Three

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When last I posted an installment in my soulmate saga, I told you that, on my trip to buy an espresso maker to help ease the loss of the only coffee shop in the small town where I was living, I also bought a copy of the book, The Unimaginable Life, by Kenny and Julia Loggins. Whereas I had been somewhat reticent to buy it at first, once I did, I gobbled it up in less than 24 hours! It’s the story of the first seven years of their relationship and it is VERY intimate and revelatory. If they held anything back, it wasn’t much. The book chronicles not only the rapture of finding and experiencing what they termed “Big Love,” but also the radical honesty and “personal housekeeping” involved in tending a conscious relationship.

For one of the friends I recommended the book to, it was too intimate, too “embarrassing” to read—for me, it was like manna from heaven! This was the level of relating that I had always wanted but hadn’t ever manifested. I craved the chance to explore that level of intimacy with someone who was totally invested instead of the men I had manifested to date—if you recall, I had attracted a slew of unavailable or otherwise unsuitable men. For the eight years prior to discovering the book, I had been holding men away with a psychic barrier. I had convinced myself that I would need to grow spiritually to the point where I would not repeat the mistakes of the past; would not attract another unavailable man; would not recreate the dysfunctional relationship patterns that had lead to such pain. What I understood from reading The Unimaginable Life is that the way to achieve what I was longing for was not to try to perfect myself as a way to protect against hurt, but to embrace relationship as a spiritual path, and be willing to risk whatever it took to walk the path with a partner—a mirror.

So, as I said, I devoured the book immediately. I started it the night I came back from buying it and the espresso machine, and was finished the next afternoon. When I turned the last page, I said to the Universe, very clearly—but not without some trepidation—“I’m ready to grow spiritually in a relationship.” Just moments afterward, I went online to the Kenny Loggins website, and checked out the Unimaginable Life forum. There was a message posted there by a guy who was offering a videotape of Kenny’s and Julia’s appearance on Leeza. I found myself emailing him to see if he still had a copy. Now this wouldn’t have been odd except that, not only did I not particularly want one, the two VCRs in our house were out of order, having been struck by lightning! And yet, I was asking this stranger for a copy of the tape. Hmmm…I just figured it was Sweet Julie (my inner child) experiencing the “me, too syndrome.” Since he was only asking $5 for a copy to cover the cost of the tape and shipping, it seemed like a harmless indulgence. I quickly received an answer back saying that he’d made 10 tapes and I’d gotten the last one.

I emailed back, asking where to send the money, and commented on how reading the book had opened me up. He replied and said it had been meaningful to him and his partner, too. Here is the third message I sent:

Dear Rick,

I'm excited! Thanks so much and let me know
about expenses... I am happy to hear that you
and your woman are resonating with the book.
It gives me hope that there are men out there
who "get it"!!! It could just be that there is one
somewhere for me! For the first time in years,
I feel myself opening up to allowing another
person into my life. Reading *The
Unimaginable Life* was like an initiation.

Until "he" shows up, the book is calling me to
an even higher level of accountability in my
relationship with myself--which is obviously a
prerequisite for surviving and finding true
intimacy in relationship with another person.
Funny, I have been "working on myself"
for so long...guess it just never ends--
but maybe it can be more FUN!

Light on the path,


(Do take note of the message’s addressee…)
Next installment soon!

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Rick said:

I, too, was enthralled with The Unimaginable Life, and once I discovered the forum that was then available at Kenny Loggins’ website, I had a place to feed the deep urge for connection. It is not a matter of finding fault at all that my Colorado Springs friend didn’t share the vision I had of a life lived in service. It was me trying to see her as the female half in a relationship where she didn’t belong. Guessing who really did is not too difficult at this point!
The forum, really more of a message board, consumed a good bit of my free time for some weeks. Kenny and Julia Loggins were doing publicity appearances in support of the book, and I learned they would be on a daytime talk show. I decided to tape the appearance.
That day happened to be the day that the Queen of England chose to finally speak publicly on her family’s sorrow over the very recent loss of Princess Diana. As a result of her speech, much of the talk show I wanted to have on tape was preempted. I did get part of the segment when Kenny and Julia were discussing their relationship and what they believed they had to offer as insight into the nature of relationship, but I was saddened to see that much of the show simply was not broadcast that day.
Over the next couple of days, several people on the forum mentioned that they missed the airing altogether. I was willing to make copies of the video tape I had, but I also knew I needed to set some limits. I had no interest in becoming a permanent tape-copying fixture of that virtual community. During my lunch break from work, I walked to the nearby big-box electronics store to see what was available in blank tape.
I thought I’d probably get five and be done. That day, though, there was a great deal on a pack of ten blank tapes, so I decided I would be willing to invest that much energy and time in furthering the cause Kenny and Julia were living.
The next step was to post a message on the website that I was willing to make copies of the Kenny and Julia talk-show appearance. Within minutes, I had several takers. Figuring in the cost of the mailers I got from the post office and the postage itself, my outlay was roughly $5 per tape. That was all out-of-pocket expense, as I was making the tapes for free. Once I began the process of creating the copies, I also decided that I would mail the tapes as they were finished, and leave it up to each individual to honor the pledge of sending $5 after the fact. I was glad to see that most did.
I had committed almost all of the tapes by the time Julia became aware of the offer. As she pointed out, she actually got the very last of the ten tapes. In fact, it was only minutes after Julia asked for the last one that someone else asked, as well. I stuck to my self-imposed limit and turned that person down.
With the other folks who bought tapes, my correspondence was limited to “please send me your address” and their reply. Something about Julia’s response, though, caught my eye. The very email she included in this post was the one that hooked me. I had to learn more about this person!
Since we had the Kenny and Julia book as a topic of conversation, as well as the tape I had made for her, I asked after her experience watching the tape. Now, I had been very careful to note in all my conversations with the people who sought that tape that the show was only partly captured. It was not a total loss, but it was not the complete show. I’m sure it had to have been a couple of weeks after I sent the tape to Julia that the topic came up again, and she pointed out just what she mentions in this post: she had no working VCR in her house!
While she also said she intended, some day, to take the tape to a friend’s house to view it, she didn’t show much enthusiasm for that task. I decided she was a nice lady with a view of life that I enjoyed talking about with her, but she was definitely flaky! Why did she ask for the tape if she didn’t have any plan for watching it??
Ah, Spirit. You have to have a sense of humor to be in the lives of us human beings!

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Where To From Here?

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This page contains a single entry by Julia published on March 29, 2005 5:13 AM.

Easter goosebumps was the previous entry in this blog.

Freedom for a friend is the next entry in this blog.

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