Hibernation time

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I am lost. Okay—I’m not lost, I just feel that way. I am going through one of those broken-compass periods of low-to-no motivation. Feeling like a blob. Not feeling able to get myself psyched up for anything. Not sure of my direction. My winter newsletter is due to be published, but, whereas I normally am excited to work on it, I just feel tired when I think about it. Since I am committed to following my energy and enthusiasm, and about the only places they seem to be taking me are to the daybed, sofa, or bed right now, I guess I’ll have to trust that those are the places I most need to be!

I thought about not sharing this in an effort to preserve my image (Hello, ego!), but I felt motivated to write this (Ha! Motivation! Must follow it!), and I know that it might just be comforting to some readers to know that I, who probably seems to be focused and have it mostly together, has times when she feels anything but.

Is it the weather? I’m sure that has something to do with it. It’s extremely cold here—in the minuses tonight. Today’s high was 10 degrees according to the thermometer on our patio, though the TV news had the temp at 3. I guess that’s because they measure it at the airport which is pretty much out in the wilderness, away from the heat of the city. They’re saying it’s going to be super cold for the next few days—seeing that it’s going to get up to the 20s and low 30s next week is thrilling! While I've never figured out how to enjoy single-digit temps, I guess the cold snap would not be such an issue with me if we had not been socked in by the snow for so long. While we’ve been able to get out some of the time, getting around has been challenging as there is still mega snow everywhere and many of the neighborhood streets are horrendous. Not meaning to complain, but I just have a serious case of cabin fever. I like my options open, and with the weather so funky, it feels like there’s a wall around the house that has me trapped. More likely, it’s a vibrational wall.

I know, I know. I need to raise my frequency. But for whatever reason, it feels like the thing to do in service to that is to hunker down and birth whatever is waiting to emerge from me. It’s almost like there is something inside me (Sweet Julie? Is that you?) that needs me to be still and to stop focusing on productivity as a measure of worth. I have had an intellectual knowing of that for quite awhile, but it’s one of those things that is going “kerchunk” into my being right now.

Part of my new, more thorough realization of this is from offering the autobiographical account of the time just before and just after my mountaintop experience to people to read. I posted the offer on PI, having people email me to get the link to the PDF of it if they were interested. That caused me to re-read it for the first time in years, and, in reading it with fresh eyes, I was able to really identify how much my self-worth has been tied up in certain things like bravery, productivity, and “getting it right.” The getting it right thing is HUGE. Jeez Louise—No one has ever been as hard on me as I have been! I’m so grateful that Rick is so wise and kind and encouraging of me. He’s seen those patterns all along. Tonight he said he was concerned that I was resisting being a blob and said he hoped I’d just surrender to my funk so I could move on through it.

Anyway, if you would like to read the autobiography (105 double-spaced pages) which is online, please email me and I’ll send you the link. If you don’t have my email address, just use the Contact Us feature on the website and it will come to my personal email.

Gee—you’re a good listener—I feel better already! There’s more to tell--like me reconnecting with a long lost love--but I think I hear my bed calling…

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Carol said:

you are so not alone in this strange energy dip, Julia! I try and walk a gentle path, keeping my days as open as I can to just flow and I'm flowing mostly back to bed for long stretchs of sleep. Between that and ""ascension"" aches and such, I'm quite sure something energetically is going on. My husband also encourages me to just go with it. Maybe those fellas are onto something there?!

Ralene said:

I saw your post on PI and just read your autobiography last night. I loved it! Thank you for sharing it with me. I have been very focused on raising my vibration in the last month and a half, and your story is inspiring. (One of my intentions yesterday was to be inspired. Thank you, me!) In my experience, when I am in a ""low"" time, there is usually a great insight or gift to be had. Be easy with yourself! I am intending to schedule an attunement with you soon, so we'll get to connect then! Thank you again for sharing yourself.

Julia said:

Aaaahhh, Carol! So you, too, have a man who encourages you to be gentle with you. What a blessing, eh?
After I posted my blog entry, I read the Jan. 5 update on whatsuponplanetearth.com and she describes exactly what we're experiencing. I also checked out my buddy Ellen Kennon's blog (http://ellenkennon.com/blog.htm), and she, too, talks about taking it easy right now. So I guess it's a somewhat universal experience!
Thanks for stopping by and saying hello.

Julia said:

Hi, Ralene~
So happy to hear I could be a part of your fulfilled intention! I always love it when I find out that something I did that was inspired has been the answer to someone's asking.
And, yes--I feel that I am birthing a new me here, so I am being patient and allowing. That, in itself, is a sign of a new me!
I will love doing an attunement with you when the time is right!

Julia said:

And Carol and Ralene~
I meant to say thank you to both of you for your loving words and encouragement! Really nice.

Donielle said:

Just read your blog entry for yesterday. You are not alone in the energy dip! I slept till 11am this morning! I don't think the weather helps. I also read the thread on the OuterLimits that stated this would be going on. It is hard not to feel Lazy though! I guess we might as well enjoy the snow(again!) and cold and just stay in!!! Maybe making some cookies will help! (for me at least)

Julia said:

Hmmm...cookies, eh? Sounds wonderful...and like too much trouble! Rick and I are being bums today (wow--what a judgment!) and just surrendering to the cold, snowy day. It's rather delicious though to just let go and not be thinking what you ought to be doing!
Anyway, I'll enjoy your cookies vicariously. What kind? Oatmeal? Chocolate chip? Yum.
I'm not familiar with OuterLimits. I'll have to check it out!

Parise said:

Ok - I am one of those that did think, Julia is a gal that has it all together.
Then I read this blog, and it made me feel quite good, even if you were not up to par.
When we realize that others are or have been in the same ""mood"" as you are or have been...it adds a sense of connection to it. Like - hey we are in fact all alike!
I appreciate your thoughts and so appreciate you sharing that - its ok to have those days.
Much Love & Peace

Julia said:

Yes, indeed, Parise--we are certainly all One! (Like it or not sometimes! grin)
Thank you for confirming that sharing my angst was helpful. I know it sure helped me!
Love and Joy,

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This page contains a single entry by Julia published on January 13, 2007 4:11 AM.

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