Which door is open?

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Fish that I am, my most profound insights seem to come when I'm in water. Usually, it's while I'm swimming--the combination of the immersion in water with the oxygenation just puts me way up there vibrationally. Oftentimes, it's when I'm showering after swimming, but what I realized Tuesday happened in the pool.

I have a Swimp3, which is an mp3 player made for using in the water. It's really cool--it uses bone conduction so that you don't have to have anything in your ears or directly over your ears to hear.
swimp3.jpeg It's a challenge to deal with its tiny control buttons when you have on swim mitts (for resistance) like I always do, and it sits on your head where you can't see them, so I just keep it set to "shuffle" and keep the volume the same so that I don't have to mess with once I have it on. So whatever song comes on is what comes on. I don't have much control over it as I swim. I have about 40 songs on there at this point, and only hear about 10-12 songs per session in the pool.

Monday night, we watched American Idol, and they were doing songs from Michael Jackson's song book. It reminded me how much I used to like to workout to some of Michael's songs, so after the show, I downloaded some of them to iTunes (Off the Wall, Rock With You, P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing), etc.) and then loaded them onto the Swimp3.

And now, for the reason I just told you all that.

While I was swimming, I noticed that none of the new songs were playing and I really wished they would. I said to my Self "I would love to hear at least one of the Michael Jackson songs before I finish swimming." (I only had about 10 minutes left in the pool.) I received an immediate reply of "It's already arranged" and felt an accompanying surge of energy, which is always my sign that it's coming from an authentic place.

But just as immediately, I felt the door slam within myself. Right there in my solar plexus, a block to the flow went up. My energy dropped, and that old, sad feeling of "can't have" asserted itself, and the little pathetic inner voice said, "You just made that up. I wouldn't count on hearing one of those songs if I were you." I could literally feel the shift into Difficult World, and it was quite pronounced. Imagine a garden hose with water flowing freely through, and then someone stomps on the hose, and blocks the water from moving. That's how it felt.

My next move was to think, "Well, it's no big deal either way." I just let it go (non-resistance). I kept swimming, and changed the subject in my mind, and felt myself returning to higher vibrational frequency.

Would you believe that the very next song that came on was P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)?! And before I finished swimming, another MJ song played!

It was so clear that I have an automatic "you can't have" response, BUT, that I have a choice of whether to lock that in and stay shut down, or to just become neutral to it and dissolve the blockage to the flow. The "can't have" is a lie. It's a lie of the Difficult World Dictator to keep us out of Easy World and in Difficult World where he gets fed.

Later, I got the image of me, standing in a space between 2 worlds--Easy World and Difficult World--like standing in a hallway between 2 rooms--one on my left and one on my right, with only one of the 2 doors open at any given time. The door that was open depended on whether or not the flow within me was shut down. If my solar plexus was open and there was a free flow of energy, the door of Easy World was open and I was there. If my solar plexus was shut down, the door to Difficult World was open and that's the reality I experienced.

Having or not having is a matter of keeping the flow going and not letting the DWD shut it down.

Do you relate to the "can't have" feeling? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

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bonni said:

I struggle with this all the time. I have a lot of "can't have" moments. Examples:

"It's too expensive" (therefore I can't have it)
"It's too unlikely" (therefore I can't have it)
"Only a small number of people achieve that" (therefore, I won't be one of them)
"Everyone wants this" (therefore, since most people don't get it, I won't, either)
"There's too much competition" (therefore I won't succeed)

There are more, these are just ones I pulled off the top of my head.

My biggest issue with MONEY. Lots of "doesn't grow on trees" and "have to work and struggle to have it" and all that sort of thing, taught to me by my parents, sometimes directly and sometimes by their actions.

"Oh, you can't have a lot of money, you don't do anything to deserve it!"

I struggle with this all the time. :(

I thought I would drop by and leave my two cents worth. A good cry is an emotional and biological way for the overwhelmed body to kind of reset itself. You can be overwhelmed in good ways too. Anyway, every time the "old programming" gets in the way I stop and take a deep breath and over ride it. I then do my affirmations and let it go. I tell my husband to "get out of his own way" when he starts his "I can't" or "buts". It sinks in eventually. Thanks for the wonderful help you've been to so many, by "sharing"!

Julia said:

Hi, Bonni~

The coolest thing about Easy World is that everything is provided with utter ease there, and the concept of worthiness is a complete non-issue. The only requirement is allowing, period.

It's only the fearful ego ("Difficult World Dictator") who is lying to you and telling you the "can't have" untruths to keep you stuck in Difficult World where he can feed off your pain.

When you hear an inner statement that feels sad or bad, know that it's a LIE! Then, flip it around and say, "I can have a lot of money in Easy World." Deserving is a totally bogus concept. Source is not operating in terms of deserve or don't deserve AT ALL. The only thing you have to do to receive the bounty of Source is to drop the idea of "deserving" and be willing to receive it.

If you feel your solar plexus is congested, it's because the fearful ego is in its favorite hangout, lying shamelessly!

Julia said:

Thanks, Patricia!

I absolutely think of crying as pushing the reset button!

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This page contains a single entry by Julia published on March 13, 2009 2:39 PM.

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