Despite self-flagellation, first newsletter is almost done!

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My first newsletter for "the cause" is almost ready. And only 3.5 months after I decided it needed to be done right away! Those months were spent with an underlying anxiety about getting the newsletter out despite the fact that I've been busier than the proverbial one-armed paper hanger with all that is required to promote a book and generally get the message out. When, oh when, will I learn not to try and push the river? And not to flog myself for failing to meet expectations that my Spirit never had but were the dictums of my ego? Sigh... It's a process, Julia. A process. Go easy on yourself!

I wonder how much we could get done in life if we didn't have so much energy tied up in "shoulds" and "oughts"--I mean, the effort it takes to stay mad at yourself alone could power a small city! I think I'm pretty skillful at setting boundaries with others--surely I will soon see progress in setting--and maintaining--some with the biggest bully I know--
my ego-powered inner critic!

I'm pretty sure that if I were to relax, stay in the moment, and trust completely in my Spirit to work with my personality to achieve God's goals, and if I let go of arbitrarily deciding what needs to be done based on what my left brain says I ought to do; if I didn't worry about failing my Spirit, I would be guided and motivated and energized to do what needed to be done exactly at the time it most needed to be. Perhaps I would find myself so naturally coordinated with Spirit's schedule, I'd never feel like I was "behind" or "not enough." Perhaps I'd have more energy and focusing power to be a LOT more effective! Hmmm...I think I'm on to something here...


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Where To From Here?

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This page contains a single entry by Julia published on October 8, 2004 4:39 AM.

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