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It is almost impossible to believe that I am turning 51 today (the 27th)! It was a big enough stretch to comprehend turning 50. Inside, I’m a still a kid with imposter syndrome, wondering when somebody’s going to bust me for impersonating an adult. Oddly, though I’ve never felt like a legitimate grownup, I’m finding more and more that the real key to success is just what I wrote in Recreating Eden—being like a little child at essence, and walking in utter faith without requiring proof to satisfy my ego along the way.

Over the last couple of days, it has come to me so clearly that it is the ego, literally, that is keeping us from the Joy of Home. I know—you may be saying, “Julia! You wrote a whole book about that, and you’re saying that you’re just now figuring that out??? How can that be?” Well, you know how it is with realizations—sometimes they have layers. Sometimes LOTS of layers. As you know, much of what is in the book was not from my own ordinary consciousness, and was news to me when it came out on the computer screen, and although the notion of ego keeping us from experiencing Paradise isn’t a new notion, it’s a new, deep knowing. As in, some things you have a clear intellectual understanding of, but you don’t own the knowledge as an integral part of yourself until much later when you test it in the laboratory of living.

And I’m being blessed with the opportunity to test out everything that’s in that book, and live it. I was told by a highly intuitive friend early on that the key to the success of Recreating Eden was in my living the book, and it seems she was right on the money with that. I was at a certain level of understanding with that, but I didn’t realize that things would be ratcheting up quite as fast as they have. Indeed, I’m having the sense that I’m truly being called to walk my talk with impeccability, or what I’m being called to do with Recreating Eden cannot truly succeed. (No pressure!) I’m finding that I cannot get away with much these days—the tolerances are tight. I suppose the “game” hasn’t changed exactly, it’s just that with a greater awareness and with having accepted the job of disseminating the message, and thus, living the message, I’m having to operate within the law—within Prime Principle—without the expectation of being cut the former amount of slack.

For example, my ego—as well as the commonly accepted wisdom in business—says that the way to measure how well the mission is unfolding is by gauging book sales. And by how many emails come in regarding the book. And by seeing how many visitors we’ve had to the website, etc. My Spirit, however, says, “Do not concern yourself with those things. Seek ye first the Kingdom (of Heaven) and all else shall be added unto you.” (Sound like anything you’ve heard before?) And, indeed, when I’m allowing my ego to get caught up in the numbers, or any kind of external evidence of response, I get caught in that conditional Joy trap. When the numbers are large, I feel Joy. When they’re not as large as I think they ought to be, I feel less-than-Joy. However, when I allow myself to listen only to my Spirit, and follow instructions step-by-step, I feel authentic Joy, no matter what the numbers say. And the irony is, when I focus more on rising in frequency and experiencing Joy, which is the feeling response to being in the realm of my Spirit (which is the selfsame place as the Kingdom of Heaven), amazing events come to light, and the book sales go up! (I only know this because I do still check every now and then when guided to!) If I put too much stock in such external evidence of success, things seem to stall out. It’s pretty cool to be living the law of attraction so dramatically so that cause and effect are so easy to see, but it’s a challenge, too. Not always fun when ego is out of control! Got to get that ego trained to completely let go and let God. That might take till I’m 52 or so… (wry grin)


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Janet said:

Hello, The last time thatI wrote you I was half way through your book. Well I have not gotten to much farther as My daughters Father passed away and I had to drive a 12 hour journey with my two daughters 17 and 19. Your book has already inspired me to SHOW LOVE,LOVE ,LOVE.
I am the one who in 1975 had a still born. You wrote that I should write a book. Maybe some music too.I was a singer/ musician for about 32 years. As my spirit guided me away from the power that I had because I felt that I was just up lifting them and not giving them a message . So much EGO in that business.I am going to Egypt in April with a group who are ""Healing the Earth's Wound."" I know that I am a lightworker and I feel anxious to stay on a higher levelso I can help others. THANKS your book is GREAT! I also ordered Garys book.
I will be 54 in May.When I turned 50
life for me really turned for the best because on my 50th my husband( friend at the time) had flown to where I was and got down on his knee and proposed. Since them I have had more opportunity to grow. He is even supporting me going to Egypt alone.
Looking forward to the rest of your book. I have even turned on some friends to your web site. Much joy and love on your birthday! Janet

Julia said:

You couldn't have given me a more appreciated birthday gift than to say that Recreating Eden had inspired you to offer more Love!
Sounds like you've had a challenging couple of weeks, but you've risen to the challenges. Nice job!
I really appreciate you spreading the word about Recreating Eden and the blog. Thanks for your kind birthday wishes, and here's hoping your trip to Egypt is healing on all levels to all involved. I know Mother Earth will appreciate your nurturing. Will you be taking Recreating Eden with you? It's been all over the world, but I don't think it's been to Egypt yet!
Much love and appreciation,

Janet said:

Yes, I will be bringing your book to Egypt.I will be in a group of fellow light workers. I know there is at least 24 of us .They are all in the spirtual.I have found so much identity in your book that I feel that one might understand my individual journey. Another words my spirit guides me to take your book as the group brings books and insights that we share. My spirit brought me to Ian Lundgold and through him, Matty and now you.It is exciting what else is in store for us! Love,Janet

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This page contains a single entry by Julia published on February 27, 2005 4:01 AM.

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