*I* choose what I allow in!

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How in the world did it get to be 8 days since I last blogged?

It seems that many of the things that have been foremost in my consciousness are not things I can blog about. Okay--I can blog about them, but spelling things out has the potential to hurt relationships with those I love, so it's not worth it to go into the details. Let me see if I can convey the issues in a non-specific way...

Of late, I have discovered just how much I have allowed the insanity of others to impact my soul. I have had the opportunity in the last week, however, to take a new stance. Something that, at first, seemed like an assault on my little world has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I am handling things at a new level. Freedom!

Someone who is in my life whom I cannot, in an outer sense, "get rid of" (or believe me--I would have walked away years ago) who is really quite a drama queen and, I dare say, mentally unwell, has stirred things up in a very self-centered way that has hurt others that I love very much. Because of the position I'm in, I have felt very disempowered to do anything--at least in an outer sense--and normally, when such tornadoes have kicked up, I've just swallowed the outrage I've felt, and banked the energy as resentment, because I have not seen any other way to deal with the situation. Interestingly, the emotional roots of rheumatoid arthritis, which has been my health challenge through the years, is resentment...

This time, I initially greeted the accounts of the situation with a complete lack of passion. In observing myself, I was amazed to find that instead of feeling it viscerally, I felt great detachment. I somehow knew that it was not mine to take in or to do anything about except observe and process mentally. I did allow myself a brief spewing of ego-based garbage, but it was the shallowest reaction I've ever experienced in relation to such episodes. It was almost like I had to work myself up to release anything, because I had taken so little in. What I released was old "stuff." 

Somehow, I had finally managed not to take it in at the level I had before--to not allow it to affect me personally, and not to have so much of the feeling of helplessness that I always had before. I was suddenly able to see it all for what it is: a drama that others are choosing that I don't have to choose! Wow.

This is not to say I haven't been processing it this week, but it's all been in a new way for me. As an empath, and because it involves people I love, it is easy to get sucked in, but somehow, I have been able to be much more dispassionate than before. What a blessing! I can't change what others are doing, but I can certainly manage my response to it. While this is not a new concept, I'm experiencing it at a new level and it is sublime. Yes--raising your vibrational frequency--your "frequency set-point" has much to recommend it!

Now--it's out to pot up the flat of pansies I bought yesterday... crocs n pansies 08.jpg

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Thankyou for this post, which is very meaningful to me at this time. I have also been reading about 'easy world' and have decided that I, too, already live there but have tended to forget of late.

Things have happened recently which I have not reacted well to. I have struggled like a fly in a spider's web and made things worse. So now I am going to try and lie still and maybe the wind will blow me free.


Beautiful, Michael! And you're welcome.

Maybe, in the stillness, you'll discover you're already free...

Love, Joy, Ease,


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This page contains a single entry by Julia published on April 6, 2008 3:01 PM.

Reversing the trend was the previous entry in this blog.

Itchin' to go home is the next entry in this blog.

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