December 2004 Archives
Hallelujah. I’m starting to come out of the fog I’ve been in that has blocked me from feeling in touch with the message! (You’d think someone who spent as much time as I did writing that book would have no problem remembering what is in it, now wouldn’t you?!) How’s this for a promotional description of my talk at the upcoming Celebration Metaphysical Fair in Colorado Springs (April 17, 2005)?
“Ascending to the frequency level where Paradise manifests is not a matter of finding the correct technique and perfecting it. The process of returning to Eden and recreating Heaven on Earth is uber-simple—in fact, complication is the very thing that keeps you out of that blissful state! Learn what is actually required for ascension and what baggage you must drop in order to enter Paradise. Julia Rogers Hamrick, who spontaneously re-visited Eden in 1982, and is the author of Recreating Eden, shares the security code to the Garden Gate. Your ego will not want you to attend this talk, but your Spirit will thank you!”
I emailed that to the fair organizer tonight. I was supposed to send that in with my signed contract, but had to leave the description blank because I couldn’t think of what I needed to say and knew I needed to find the right words. I’m SO glad I finally “came to.”
Yesterday, the tape of the talk I did at New Directions in Charlotte back in November arrived, and I listened to it with great interest as I could hardly even remember what I had said! I sent this ringing endorsement via email to Rick afterward, “It didn’t suck.” That’s pretty high praise considering all I could hear was what I didn’t say or how I could have said what I said more effectively. When he came home and listened to it, he thought it was pretty cool. In fact, he was excited about it! He wasn’t thinking about what I could have said that I didn’t—he was grooving on what I did say. That is the first time he’s ever heard me talking before a group. Hard to believe—the person that knows me best in the world had never experienced what I consider to be me in my most favorite role of all! It’s hard now to imagine that for more than seven years—with a couple of very minor exceptions—I did not give any public talks! (Of course, I've done quite a few in the last year, but he hasn't been present and the Charlotte talk was the only one that's been taped.) What I love the most, I didn’t do. Mustn’t go that long ever again!
As we were talking about lots of things last night, and I was lamenting how detached I get from what it is I have to share, he said that the person he heard on the tape is definitely someone who needs to be doing more, more, MORE of the speaking and teaching. He is sure that if I’ll just get out there more and speak and teach that the direction I need to take with the work will reveal itself. Instead of me trying to figure it out, he says, I just need to get out there and do my thing. I think he may just be right! What a bright man I married!
We’ll be putting an excerpt or two from the New Directions talk on the website as soon as we get it digitized…
And another Christmas has come and gone. This was a particularly lovely one—I felt a sense of contentment with it all. How many Christmas Days have I spent feeling disappointed, overwhelmed, depressed or all of the above? Not so much recently, but more often than not in my first 30 years. Just a little less than 20 years ago, I had a Results session with Margaret Fields Kean and we worked on my Christmas Day issues. I had always had wonderful Christmas Eve experiences and then Christmas Day would be awful. Every year. For no apparent reason. So we explored it and what my body-mind called for was an age regression. I went back to when I was a toddler when the elderly lady who babysat for us when Mom and Dad went out of town took a fall on our front steps and broke her hip. I had refused to hold her hand (I was expressing my three-year-old independence) and she said (in an effort to coerce me into holding her hand) that she NEEDED me to hold her hand. I refused and the next thing I knew, she was in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the steps and an ambulance came and took her away. After she was released from the hospital, she went to a nursing home and never left.
What Margaret and I discovered is that my hating Christmas Day stemmed from our family’s Christmas afternoon ritual. Every Christmas Day till she died, we went to visit her in the nursing home—a fairly scary place for a little kid. (Heck—those places still scare me a little!). Subconsciously, I believed that she was in that depressing place because I put her there by refusing to hold her hand. I can’t remember now what my body-mind called for as a way to release the issue, but amazingly, when Christmas rolled around the next time, even though I hadn’t even thought about it again or that we had released it, I had the first Christmas Day EVER that was pleasant and happy and fun. Amazing the stuff we store inside and what havoc it wreaks in our lives!
Anyhow…today was wonderful, and I received some pretty cool Christmas gifts. The coolest one is the one that my sister and Rick worked out for me. Ann (sister) is an amazing watercolor artist and I got a fabulous (and huge) giclee print of a rose that she had made from the gorgeous original. Ann gave me the print as a combination Christmas and birthday gift (each print costs her quite a lot because of the intricate process involved), and Rick got the frame and glass, etc. to put together. Because the printing process can’t get the background dark enough, Ann hand paints the backgrounds to get them very black. Giclee prints are amazing. You would swear this is an original. You can see an image of the original (“Illumination”) that the print was made from at Ann’s website. Be sure to click on it to enlarge it--the thumbnail does not do it justice at all. Actually, even the larger image doesn't do it justice. In person, it is so luminous and alive!
The other favorite gift(s) was from Rick: a collection of Crosby Stills and Nash digitally re-mastered CDs—Crosby Stills and Nash, Déjà Vu, and CSN Carry On (according to Rick’s research, a hard to get 2-cd set of the "best of"). I haven’t listened to Déjà Vu in 25 or 30 years and am amazed to find that I can still sing every lyric. CS&N provided the soundtrack for my high school years and I wore out my 8-track copy of Déjà Vu! Anyway, I’ve loved listening to the music (and am listening now). We saw/heard them at Fiddler’s Green (outdoor venue here in Denver) year-before-last and they were SO great—still. Hearing "Woodstock" that evening really tripped a trigger for me. I had already written much of Recreating Eden by that time, but hearing that song again was the kick in the butt that made me know I needed to FINISH it and get it out. (I wrote an article for the Autumn 2004 newsletter about Woodstock and the song and how I believe it activated our memory of our task. “And we’ve got to get ourselves back to the Garden.”)
I guess I’m officially an old fogey. (Heck—just using that term labels me as ancient, huh?!) I really am loving old music so much these days, especially from the ’60s and early ’70s. I love that vibe. And I must confess that listening to CS&N today made me nostalgic for the appropriate corresponding smoky aroma!
Wow. I feel great! All the presents have been bought and wrapped, all the food I’m to make for tomorrow’s Hamrick Christmas gathering is made, I had a great workout, I’m clean, my hair is looking good (new haircut!), and I’m finally FREE to enjoy this holiday! At last. It's great to have clear space ahead and I’m feeling very full of possibility.
While I was exercising this afternoon, I was reading Lost Secrets of the Sacred Ark: Amazing Revelations of the Incredible Power of Gold by Laurence Gardner. Quite fascinating. I’m barely into it but as soon as I post this, I’m going to go read till bedtime. There is a part that I haven’t gotten to yet on the gold being brought by the Magi to the infant Jesus. I look forward to reading that at this point in time (for obvious reasons) to get more of the historical context. Of course, we’re not talking about the form of gold that one makes jewelry from, but the manna that feeds the light body—that fed the Israelites in the desert—the white powder of gold with mystical qualities, including, it’s believed, triggering production of the telomerase enzyme in human DNA to restore the telomeres (cap ends of chromosomes) to slow and even reverse aging.
Some years back--9 or 10 I think--when David Hudson was lecturing about the white powder of gold and ORMEs (Orbitally Rearranged Monoatomic Elements) and selling shares in his production facility under the auspices of the Science of the Spirit Foundation, I bought a share for $500. Sadly, due to continual struggles with the government over a five-year period, the facility to refine ORMEs never went online, and my $500 (along with a lot of other people’s) went into a black hole! Ah, well. I still am fascinated by the concept.
In addition to learning more about gold (manna), I’m feeling called to work with frankincense and myrrh this holiday season. According to my new Valerie Ann Worwood book, The Fragrant Heavens: The spiritual dimension of fragrance and aromatherapy, frankincense “holds some of the wisdom of the universe.” (I believe ALL essential oils do!) She says about it, “This sweet protector of the heavens operates far beyond the auric field in the light realms.” That sounds right to me. It certainly does affect the pineal gland, which is our portal to the higher realms. I love meditating with frankincense, or Brain Power, which contains frankincense. Of myrrh, she says, “The fragrance enables the letting go of the need to battle for the just against the unjust.” (Sounds like rising above duality, doesn’t it?!) She says that it resonates with the wounded healer and helps us drop our baggage so that we can walk the pathway back unencumbered. I can use a little of that action, can't you?!
Gee, I’m glad I have such amazing tools to work with! (Okay--even if I don't have the gold, I have the frankincense and myrrh, anyway!) And speaking of tools, I ordered a 12” quartz crystal “singing” bowl tuned to the key of E (solar plexus chakra) today. Got an amazing price on it and am using Christmas money from my parents to pay for it. Thanks, Mom and Dad!!!!
Now—back to reading my Laurence Gardner book...
(For some odd reason, I'm not able to make all of the text the normal periwinkle color!)
It’s been longer than I would have thought since my last entry. I’ve gotten caught up in holiday stuff once again and, frustratingly, by and large, I realize I'm a lower-frequency place. Ironic, isn’t it, that what is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of the embodiment of the very consciousness that can lift us up out of pain and misery has been endowed with many elements that tend to draw us down even closer to the pain and misery--if we let them?! I claim full responsibility for making choices that put me where I am. Okay—almost full responsibility—I confess that there’s still a little bit of the victim crying out inside me. So much of what Christmas has become is inherited and perpetuated by a force larger than the power I am feeling at the present moment (no pun intended)! Ahhh...reverse polarity and it's chief lieutenants, greed and expectation...
I’m starting to realize that a serious re-thinking of the whole Christmas thing is in order—and more than just simplifying things. I think that there must be a way to preserve the parts of it I love and that lift me up, while jettisoning the parts that seem burdensome or just plain wrong. Where I am right now, however, it is looking like a trap—of my own making, of course—that could be a challenge to extricate myself from. So many expectations—and most of them created by me. But I am willing to at least begin withdrawing from that trap. I can certainly find the motivation to do it in the interest of rising closer to Eden!
It feels to me that Christmas has become a lot more about “supposed to” than an authentic celebration of Love and Light. I’m not speaking of Christmas in general (although I think that’s certainly true.) I’m speaking of my personal relationship with it. And I find that doing things out of “shoulds” and “oughts’ or just out of habit or fear of disappointing others tends to be a rocketship to lower frequency. There’s nothing like resentment to torpedo your energy! And the funny thing is that so many of the expectations I perceive on behalf of others are either not real, or the payoff for disappointing them in order to be true to what is authentic is so much greater than the actual disappointment they would feel if I decided to change what I do.
Definitely something to ponder…
I’m experiencing one of those uncomfortable times when I feel somehow stymied in moving forward—“stuck,” as it were. I guess I should know by now that this is a phase and that this, too, shall pass, but I want it to clear for me NOW. (And no, I am not known throughout the Cosmos for my patience!) What am I supposed to be doing? It would help if I felt some movement somewhere to respond to—some prompting of Spirit—but all seems to be quiet at the moment, except for a disgruntled feeling of impatience! Can I trust that no prompting means nothing to do but be still and know that all is unfolding in Divine Time and Divine Order?
Getting the message in Recreating Eden out is so important--at least I'm pretty sure it is--and yet, I so often don’t feel the energy moving to do it. It almost seems to me that it needs to be taking on a life of it’s own that I can nurture. I seem to lose touch with power of the message if I pull back from talking/teaching about it for awhile like I have now. Though in some ways I’m enjoying the lull (more time to enjoy other facets of life), I will be VERY glad for the holidays to be past as they seem like a big speed bump in the road of life, and a distraction from disseminating the message and/or doing whatever is next.
Part of it is the guilty feeling that I ought to be charging ahead--but I don't feel motivated to. I feel I need to get on the ball and set up lots more book-sharing opportunities for the spring and summer. That is not really my favorite part—the setting up--and I tend to resist doing the stuff I don't love doing. I just want to write and speak and teach--and have other people inviting me to do so without me having to beat the bushes. My dream is to have someone else find and set up the opportunities for me to speak and teach as it is such a challenge for me to do that and maintain the focus on imparting/promoting the message. Happily, I have been invited to give a talk/seminar at the metaphysical fair in Colorado Springs in April. And I'm also invited to do the Spiritual Frontiers Fellowship talk in Raleigh in October. A start!
You know, in reading back over this, I see that I have perpetuated the same pattern that I maintained during the years of writing—and not writing—Recreating Eden. I thought I had gone farther than I actually have in healing the pattern of self-flagellation I endured during the parts of the creative cycle that seem like inactivity, but that turn out to be valuable gathering and generating times that I experienced so keenly during those years. But here I am, feeling uncomfortable and less than patient with inactivity again! Probably the activity is just as intense, it's just not visible or perceptible at a gross level. Doesn't much of any organism's growth occur in the invisible? I’m pretty sure that struggling against this phase of the cycle is like struggling with Chinese handcuffs on—the more you twist and resist and try to force your way out, the tighter the handcuffs are. So perhaps I’ll heed lessons past and try to relax, stay cool, and ease my way through this seeming lull, fully expecting for the energy to rise and sweep me forward once again. What a concept!
What a great day! The “prime thought” for the day for me was “joyous,” and for Rick, it was “accommodation.” (I’ll elaborate on what “prime thoughts” are in a moment. First, the mundane details of our day!)
Rick took vacation this week and today was “adventure day.” I had never walked around Golden’s downtown area, so that’s where we headed early this afternoon. We went to Foss General Store, which is quite a phenomenon—it’s one of those “if they don’t have it, you don’t need it” kind of places. They had everything from convenience store items, to sofas made from actual front ends of old cars, costing thousands of dollars, and everything in between! After that, we went in search of lunch and ended up at the Bridgewater Grill at the Golden Hotel. Truthfully, we didn’t have high expectations, but figured they’d at least have a no-smoking section. Turned out to be fabulous! And very reasonably priced! We met the new owner of the hotel and she seemed quite passionate about making the hotel and restaurant top notch and genuinely thrilled at the positive feedback we gave her. We’ll definitely make a point of going back.
Then we decided to head for Indian Hills, which is the little foothills community where we had our wedding. We stopped at the community's only coffee shop, which had just changed hands, and sat in comfy chairs and got to know the new owners. (We were the only customers at the time.) Then we went and shopped for presents at Tesoros, a really cool store (just a stone's throw from the coffee shop) that we discovered last fall when were in Indian Hills touring the No-te-sah Pueblo that was for sale at the time. The store owners are very nice and I always feel good buying things there—so far, nothing major—just small but nice gifts. Wishing, however to change that by manifesting a large new home and decorating it with stuff from Tesoros! After we left the store, we headed for home, which is an easy 35-40 minute drive--but the trip from Indian Hills always seems shorter than that to me!
It wasn’t an action-packed day, but it was exactly what we needed. I get positively giddy when we head out on an adventure day! It’s just so lovely to be together, without the many day-to-day kinds of things that we tend to allow to come between us, and just have hanging out together as the goal for the day. Great for our relationship! I love it when we take day trips--to explore the mountains, or an unfamiliar neighborhood in Denver, or anywhere that’s just enough out of the day-to-day to feel special. Big adventures are great, too, of course, but the little ones that require little or no preparation, and don’t take days to recover from, are definitely favorites!
Now, “prime thoughts.” This idea was discovered by Rick, (whom I suspect will be weighing in on this topic!). Of course, as I found out when I was writing Recreating Eden, there really is nothing new under the sun. There seems to be a big repository of ideas that many people dip into at once and all think they've made a big discovery! Anyway, he decided that, everyday when he wakes up, he’s going to choose (or let choose him) a prime thought--a quality--that will be the overlighting factor of the day. His first day he chose “ease,” and found that everything truly went much more easily than usual all day. The next day, he chose something else, and discovered that the real prime thought needs always to be “ease” and every other one should be under the umbrella of “ease”! (Ease, if you recall, is a hallmark of Eden!) Anyway, when I remember to designate a prime thought for the day, it really works for me, too. Today, as I said, I chose “joyous” and that’s exactly what the day was!
When my partner in the class did a body scan on me, she picked up on most all my body issues (as well as some emotional ones). Remember that I blogged about how I'd been to the chiropractor a bunch of times over the last couple of weeks? She got that and even named the exact vertebrae that had been bothering me! This "diagnosis" was within a very short time of our having met, we had had no time to chat, and we knew virtually NOTHING about each other, and certainly not about any of our respective ailments. So it was quite impressive! I also picked up on most all of her stuff as well (as confirmed by the facilitator--she had already been working as a practitioner with her for several sessions) who had also scanned her a few days earlier. That helped me feel more confident about my "seeing"!
I had some other problems the first day, though. To start with, the class was in the morning and across town from me. I traditionally have not had an easy time with mornings, and I didn't sleep very well or very long the night before. When I got there, the facilitator was burning sage and burned it pretty much all day the first day and it really almost did me in. The smoke was just overwhelming to me and my lungs and sinuses were very messed up. I was also processing a lot of emotional stuff and already had sinus problems going on. So I was miserable. I had to call her that night and ask her not to burn it the next day--she was happy to oblige and I did MUCH better on all levels the next day. Getting 10 hours of sleep that first night helped immensely, too.
All in all, I'm quite pleased with how the class went, and though I probably won't become a Vianna Stibal-style Theta Healer (and certainly won't claim to be!), I know that the class was an important puzzle piece for me. Now, to figure out where that piece fits!
Got a Christmas tree today and we'll put it up tomorrow. I LOVE my Christmas trees. I can hardly wait to get out the treasures to decorate it with. SO much fun for me! Something about lights and color and sparkle and special things you collect over the years...
I’m certainly glad I know what I know about recreating Eden or I’d be a basket case. If I thought we had to play by the rules of the duality matrix—that we had to somehow “win” over “evil”--I’d be ordering one of Derek Humphry’s books from Amazon.com. (Not that I’m at all sure suicide would actually let you escape duality!)
Anyway, the evidence of a takeover by greed-driven forces, leading to a decline of liberties and open expression in our country, is showing up on my radar almost daily. The ownership of the media by big conglomerates that have a stake in suppressing the truth and that spin information to benefit their bottom line has come up in a big way lately, not just in the failure of the mainstream media to cover voter fraud in the U.S. (while covering it in the Ukraine!), but in other ways as well.
For example, my sister forwarded me a message today about a TV commercial that United Church of Christ was all set to run on CBS and NBC that is about inclusion. It basically says that no matter who you are or where you come from, you are welcome at UCC. Scary stuff, huh? Not exactly! But at the eleventh hour, CBS and NBC-owned stations have decided that the ad is too controversial. As my sister noted, seems NBC doesn’t have a problem airing Will & Grace, but an ad from a church that would be happy to welcome the people the show depicts is not okay.
In all fairness, the UCC ad is a little “in your face” and shows people going into church and all but the straight WASPs being turned away by “bouncers” that you just know represent the religious right. I guess expecting the so-called powers-that-be not to respond just like they have is a little like baiting a vicious animal and then being surprised when it does what vicious animals do! I would be amazed if the creators of the commercial didn’t have some idea that they were flirting with the possibility that this would happen. Yet, still, the whole episode is a definite commentary on big media’s stranglehold on the voice box of progressive values. And it seems a symptom of something cancerous that is growing in the world.
So, I’m glad that I understand this is all a play that only has an impact when you are bought into the duality matrix, and that the only way to remain unscathed by it is to lift up and out of it. That by refusing to buy into the whole good vs. evil, right vs. wrong schema for disharmony, and by insisting on transcending the duality matrix, thereby choosing to dwell in the Unified Field, those issues and struggles between extremes become moot. Where we’re headed--some more swiftly, apparently, than others (!)--indeed, where we can dwell right now, the forces of the duality matrix do not even exist. The trick to surviving our sojourn into the disharmony schema is a matter of being “in the world but not of it”--of observing what is happening (and acting when inspired to), but not getting caught up in the duality notion that something is wrong. It’s all God. IT’S ALL GOD. And everything is, as always, in Divine Order. (That last emphasis was for me, who needs reminding just like everybody else does!) And, a critical factor in rising up to the turmoil-free zone is refusing to allow what you observe happening in the duality play to affect the level of your radiance; to not let your human-nature tendencies to "take sides" affect the level of unconditional Love you are radiating, which is the only thing that can truly transform anything.