July 2006 Archives
Today I finally wrote the first words of my next book. I was very freaked out right before I did it--trying to choose exactly the right opening for the chapter, etc. (ego stuff, of course--wanting it to be "right"). Of course, those exact words may not end up being in there, but they are a start.. I don’t want to say too much about this as I found with Recreating Eden that talking about it much while in the process of writing diminishes the energy, and it takes time to build it back up again. So suffice to say that I am relieved—the blank screen is pretty intimidating! I’ve had an outline for quite awhile now, and now that I’ve started writing I can see that the outline is probably going to change, but the thing is that I have broken ground! And that’s huge.
The other major event to report is that my knee has improved considerably. Whereas I could not lift my foot to wash it with a washcloth before bedtime just a week ago, I can do so now. I can also bend my knee as I walk instead of having to keep it stiff. This, too, is huge, as before, keeping it stiff made it so tense, which in turn, made me rely even more on my other leg, which had started to deteriorate from the extra wear and tear. Now, I can stand up for more than 2 minutes at a time without being in extreme pain and fatigue—heck, I can go way more than that! And getting easier all the time. Yesterday, I decided I was going to walk normally, no matter how it felt, and was able to take 4 or 5 relatively normal steps! Rick says that it’s important so my body won’t forget a normal gait. I am finding that swallowing my pride and using the cane helps, too, even though for the most part I don’t need it. It’s just that when I do, I really do! Uneven ground is my cue to use the cane.
I attribute these improvements to my continual singing of “these knees are happy knees” and to my devotion to pampering my knees. In addition to telling my knees how much I love and appreciate them, I’ve been applying hot compresses (with essential oils), then exercising them (bending and flexing each knee 15 times while warm from the compress) and then icing them for 15 minutes. I’ve also been religiously applying MSM cream and Celadrin cream, and taking BLM, a Young Living supplement for supporting bones, ligaments, and muscles. I’ve also been taking extra glucosamine and MSM by mouth.
One thing is for certain—being in this condition has made it impossible to take my mobility for granted. You really just don’t realize how important your joints are until you experience something like this. Even with my history of rheumatoid arthritis, I just really didn’t ever seriously consider that my joints could fail me—or, rather, that I could fail my joints. When my knee started hurting while I was on the cross-country ski machine, I just told myself to push through it and did not honor the signals my body was giving me. I will not make that mistake again! I know I’m creating all this, so I’m intending to consciously create really HAPPY KNEES!
Okay—I haven’t done my compresses, etc. for today, so I’m off to do that. If you haven’t thanked your body lately for it’s amazing service, consider doing so! It’s quite empowering.
Here I am again, needing to blog, and not finding anything much to say…
Let’s see. I could tell you that I have been focused on healing my knee—or, rather, knees (since my left knee has been valiantly doing the work of 2 knees and has been none-too-happy with that). Being less than perfectly mobile has been an interesting challenge, but I am determined to be bouncing around again, despite the occasional slip into fears about future lack of mobility. My friend, Andrena, says she thinks the problem is related to fears about moving forward with my career, which is something I have suspected as well. If you read my last blog entry, that probably wouldn’t be a big surprise. I probably need to have an on purpose fear-fest to let my ego express all it needs to on the scary stuff. Simply pasting a happy face on the situation is not proving to be all that effective. I am glad to report that my knees have, indeed, been getting better--just not as rapidly as I would like. I think the fear factor is key...
I’ve been listening to a healing CD (Summer McStravick's Flowdreaming for Perfect Mental and Physical Health), and I do have a healing song I’ve been singing that is keeping me in the healing zone. It’s based on a song I learned at the Southeastern Spiritual Conference. I think Laraaji originated it. My version of it goes,
I’ve got the healing in my knees
I’ve got the healing in my knees
And these knees are happy knees
These little knees are happy knees
I could tell you about how I’ve been going back and forth, trying to decide whether to seek a publisher for my next book, or whether to publish it myself (or, rather, ourselves, since Rick is a key part of New Realities Publishing). Just when I had pretty much decided we’d just do it ourselves to avoid having to jump through hoops, Andrena (who is very psychic—she predicted what happened in New Orleans 4 months beforehand), says she sees me getting an agent and publisher because things are breaking loose in a big way for me and I will be too busy to deal with all that stuff. So now I’m working on a book proposal, which is a huge project. I still haven’t decided for sure whether I’ll look for an agent and seek a major publisher, but the proposal will be helpful either way. It helps me focus.
Oh! I thought of something else to share—my latest vibrational frequency measurement. Dr. Stimson measured it at 1040 on Friday. According to David Hawkins’ first theory, 1000 is avatar-hood. But I am far from walking on water. Dr. S.—who has been helping me with my knee issues—and I joked that if I keep going up, I won’t have to be able to walk—I can just float around…that would be nice! The floating—not the not being able to walk! Of course, Hawkins revised the number for avatar upward to 1500, which is comforting, since it’s a bit much pressure to think I’m supposed to be there already as I’m still enjoying Sex and the City reruns and other such…um…grounding things.
And, Stepdaughter #3 returns from Paris tomorrow! I will be very happy to have her here, but we’ve been emailing so much that I feel closer to her than ever! Now that she won’t have her Paris adventures to report, I don’t know if we’ll be in such close communication. But we have plans to go to a nearby tearoom and to lunch and such, so I will trust that it will be just great!
Okay. So it turns out I did have some things to share.
I've always understood that in order to do what I came to the planet to do, I would need to be well-known. It's just a part of getting the message out in a big way. And, while I'm happy to do whatever is needed to accomplish my mission, there have been some apprehensions I've needed to work through about becoming better known. I've done emotional clearing work on this topic both with Mary Mooney in N.C., and here in Denver, with my chiropractor, Dr. Stimson, who utilizes the Neuro-Emotional Technique. Around Easter this year, I wrote about working through the "crucifixion complex" with him, and I have, indeed, felt freer, and it has opened up things so that more people are finding me and the message. But there are other issues with becoming better known that I am now having to learn how to deal gracefully with.
I am thrilled that people are finding my work, and the Source energy I channel, to be attractive, and that they are perceiving me as having wise counsel. Indeed, that is my desire, and the key to my effectiveness at bringing people to seeing the holistic vision that I been provided with to share with humanity. I love that as I am more and more aligned, and putting more and more inspired writing and teaching out in the world, more and more people are finding the message and resonating with it. Yes, yes, yes!
BUT, I am needing to learn how to establish boundaries in a way that I haven't really needed to before. I'm finding that, because of my openness and sharing in a very personal way (which I believe to be crucial to doing what I'm meant to do), people are feeling a resonance (so far so good), and wanting to have personal dialogs with me--and, often (and here is where the problem comes in for me), about their life challenges and issues. Please know that I absolutely love having personal exchanges, and I have always welcomed people to approach me personally, but what I'm finding is that I am not easily able to do what I need to do in a larger way when I spend time with people one-on-one, counseling them on their personal issues. Don't get me wrong--I LOVE doing one-on-one counseling. My attunements are one of my very favorite parts of my job. But they are by appointment, are very intense, and take place within a finite time period. Yes--I do charge for them--and that makes them all the more valued by the people who avail themselves of them. And, it makes it possible for me to afford to do the other parts of this work that I do at no charge.
Yesterday, when someone approached me from a place of need, telling me all the things that were not right in her life, saying she wanted to connect with me, my alarm bells went off. I referred her to my attunements page, and to my friend, Dr.Barbara Rose's website, which has instructions on finding answers from your God-Self, and to her Yahoo group, where I thought this person might find help with what she felt challenged by. I knew that I did not need to become engaged in trying to help her one-on-one.
Her response was that she didn't feel she needed counseling or help--she just wanted to connect with me because she wanted to surround herself with healthy people, and people she felt were walking the path in the way that she intended to. While I understand that, it didn't feel like that to me since her approach was from a "This is what is wrong in my life, I want you to be my friend" standpoint. What a gift, though--it really got to me in a way that let me know that I need to clarify some things within myself. The boundaries must be drawn from within, and I need to be comfortable with making them clear without so much fear of hurting someone's feelings or, bottom-line, being continually fearful of not being liked. While I felt I expressed my boundaries pretty well on the outside, internally, I guess I was putting out a mixed signal. The not being liked things boils down to abandonment/survival fears--as do pretty much all fears of the emotional sort! When I went to see Dr. S., yesterday afternoon, we did some NET and cleared up my emotional issues around the idea that it's "okay to say no." I felt relief from that.
My challenge is in making it clear that I value whoever shows up in my life, but that in order to do what I need to do, I will not be able to be personal buddies with everyone who might be attracted, and that certainly, I can't be an ongoing personal counselor to lots of people. Geez--just writing that pains me! It sounds so exclusive, and that is not how I feel. See? I need to clarify this within myself so that I am putting out a clear signal. I think the thing is that Sweet Julie, my inner child, is worried about hurting people's feelings. The term "too big for my britches" is what I am hearing. "Selfish" is another internal accusation I'm hearing. I wonder how other teachers deal with this?
Meanwhile, I do love hearing from you--I'm always so excited when I get your emails and blog posts sharing something interesting, expressing your appreciation, or something you discovered as a result of something I wrote or said --AHA! I just had an insight! My giving takes place in a larger arena--my articles, my forum posts, my blog posts, and my book-writing, require most of my energy and focus, and when I'm asked to expend energy counseling someone personally (because, after all, it does seem like we're buddies because of the personal way I come across), it feels like I'm not leveraging my energy. (That was NOT the aha!) The aha! is that I need to get very clear within myself that I am giving plenty and that in order to continue giving to more people, I need to learn to set healthy boundaries!
Before I get going, here is the link to the Introduction to Recreating Eden that I promised the people in tonight’s teleseminar. It's a great overview of the book: http://www.recreating-eden.com/RecreatingEdenIntroduction.html
What a great, high-frequency day! I gave my free teleseminar tonight—the first one since May (June was just tooooooo busy), and I had such a lovely day in preparation. The name of the seminar was “Joy: Priority One,” and that is just what my priority of the day was. I spent part of the afternoon clearing stuff—even though I could not put a label on it, I felt something depressing my frequency just a little, so, instead of going straight to the joy music, I put on Ashes and allowed myself to cry.
I was able to get in touch with more grief about letting go of the physical embodiment of my mother, who made her transition into Light a year ago April. So I let myself cry as much as I needed to about that. Oh, yeah--just before I got to the layer of stuff that needed to be released, I found this in my notebook, “When you cry, you are grieving your lost alignment with your Spirit. With every tear, you clear the path back to your Self.” So every time my ego wanted to judge with such statements as “You don’t have time for this!” “Shouldn’t you be past this by now?” and on and on, I would just know that if there were tears still ready to flow, they were clearing the pipe so that I could really move some energy for my own healing, as well as in service to those who showed up on the call tonight .
You might be thinking, “Wait a minute—I thought she said today was about joy but she’s just talking about crying and grief and stuff.” I did the purposeful releasing because I had the intention of going to the joy space. I knew if I moved any old, stored energy out of the way, I could go there more easily, and stay there longer. And it worked! By the time Ashes was over, I was feeling really joyful, and by the time Earth Wind & Fire started playing, I was over the moon!
We had a great crowd for the teleseminar. I invited people on The Secret forum at Powerful Intentions and it was fun to have new folks on the call. Delores and Janice from my fabulous class at the Southeastern Spiritual Conference were present also, which I loved. And we had a lot of great questions. I do love the questions! I managed to cram an awful lot into what amounted to about an hour and fifteen minutes, and it seemed that everyone was able to keep up. I am love, love, loving these new times of higher frequency and having more and more people showing up for the classes who are able to fly with me!
The Summer 2006 newsletter made its first appearance today. I’m really happy with it and I've gotten lots of great feedback on it, too. If you haven’t already, do check it out. And be sure to put your name on my email list—that way, you’ll get the access info for the free teleseminars and the quarterly newsletter. You’ll be glad you did—and so will I!
Rick and I had a movie date this afternoon for Dan Millman’s Peaceful Warrior. To tell you the truth, I was more excited about the opportunity to consume the rarely indulged-in popcorn and Coke that I only allow myself when I’m at the movies. (We don’t go that often!) But as it turned out, the movie was great! Sure, like the critics said, it was a little cheesy and predictable in places, but all in all, it was truly inspiring and well-acted. (The popcorn was pretty good too, if a bit salty—Rick’s choice.)
Unlike most of my tribe, I never read Dan’s perennially popular book. I just wasn’t ever attracted to it. So I was not comparing, which was something of a blessing. Rick had read the book, and is often the way with that sequence of events (book first, movie second) he found the movie did not measure up. But he was into it nonetheless.
When I checked RottenTomatoes.com for the reviews of it last week, I believe it said that about 8% of the critics liked it, and the rest panned it. Why I let that prejudice me is a mystery! As I sat there watching what turned out to be a much better piece of work than I had expected, and a truly compelling story, it occurred to me that 8% was about the logical percentage, since in the world of movie critics (can you think of an industry that is much more duality-based?!), there are probably less than 8% who are of a metaphysical inclination. So, 8% is probably an encouraging number from that crowd! (I am fully aware that I’m being highly judgmental in even talking about this!)
If you have a chance to go see the movie, I’d encourage you to take advantage of the opportunity, as it is not in wide distribution yet, and will have a better chance at “flying” if the box office numbers are decent. It’s definitely the kind of movie that delivers a message in a package that will be palatable to a lot of people who might not ordinarily be exposed to such concepts. It’s the kind of movie I belive we could definitely use more of. While it may not be an Academy Award-winning production, it is of a vibrational level that can offset a lot of the typical Hollywood sex and violence films, and bring some balance to what is available.
The movie inspired me in an unexpected way. Watching “Dan” (the character, that is) go from having a shattered leg to being reinstated as a member of the UC Berkeley gymnastics team, was a big cosmic wink to me, who has been challenged to get focused on healing her knee. Interestingly—and now, this could have been the popcorn and Coke (wink, wink)—my knee has been feeling quite a bit better since the movie. For the last few days, I’ve been saying the mantra, “I am a healing marvel!” That, and the visualizations I’ve been doing accompanied by my joy music, seem to be working!
Oh--and an interesting thing happened right after the movie. I hobbled to the ladies room to join the crowd that was waiting for turns, and a woman turned to me and said, "Wow--wasn't that great?!" And I replied, "Yes! It inspired me to get this knee healed up!" And she said, "Oh--you know--you really can! Just speak it and it is done!" To which I replied with conviction, looking her square in the eyes, "I know." Undeterred, she continued to share metaphysical truths with me, and my ego wanted to jump in and say, "I KNOW!!! I AM A SPIRITUAL TEACHER WHOSE WHOLE AWAKENING STARTED WITH A MIRACULOUS HEALING AND I WROTE A BOOK BASED ON THAT!" But thankfully, my Wise Self jumped in front of my ego and just let it go as she went on talking to me as if I had never considered metaphysics before. That I could let that be just fine felt really great! Ah...spiritual maturity.
I’m in the process of finishing up the Summer 2006 newsletter which I’m planning to send out Tuesday with a reminder of July’s free teleseminar, “Joy: Priority One,” which will be held that night (July 11). If you’re not yet on my mailing list, you’ll want to get on it so you can get the access info. for the teleseminar, which will be in the email version of the newsletter. To get on my list, just go to
And go see Peaceful Warrior. I think you’ll be glad you did!
I promised to share a bit more about the conference and my trip home, so here goes. I just loved being at the conference (Southeastern Spiritual Conference) and find myself thinking back on it longingly. I already told you about my class, which was the highlight of my week. Janice, from my Recreating Eden Study Group from last winter, came to the conference, and she was my angel, giving me rides to class and meals in her very cool PT Cruiser convertible. I really enjoyed getting to know her better, and while I’d rather have been mobile, my knee made me dependent on her kind chauffeuring, and the bonus was developing a friendship with her. Divine Order.
Another new friend is musician and therapeutic laughter teacher (and so much more!) Laraaji Nadananda. I had crossed paths with him at a spiritual retreat back in the 1980s, but he did not remember. (No wonder—I was about half my current size, and not all that much over half my current age!) He is such a charismatic person—a Pied Piper of sorts, and one of those who is equally appealing to men and women. One of his claims to fame is that he dresses in orange. Head to toe. Only orange! Everyday. He was in my class, and I felt a real connection with him—of course, I’m sure everyone feels that way about him as he has a way of making everyone feel truly seen and valued. No wonder he is so popular! Anyway, I did love getting to know him, and felt really sad to part from him. As the conference drew to a close, I had this pang of not wanting to be separated from him--I felt that being able to have him as a friend in my life—in the flesh, everyday—would be so enriching. But he lives in New York, and I live in Denver , and that’s not a happening thing. I do still feel the connection, and I am sure that I will see him again. I was thrilled to see that he had bought my book and one of my CDs, as I respect him so much, it was cool to know that even after my class, he wanted more. I bought his laughter workshop CD, and now wish I had bought some of his music. Thankfully, I can buy it online! Oh, and he had a horizontal Chinese gong that he played for the class as our eyes were closed, and he produced an effect that was truly like traversing dimensions. I plan to get a gong like that and learn to play it. VERY cool.
I do want to stay in the present, but it’s a challenge sometimes, when you’ve experienced such a sublime time of feeling totally accepted and appreciated, as well as feeling the same way in return, to not want to go back in time. NOT that I don’t feel accepted and appreciated here and now, but just that it was so much fun to be with so many new people who felt like old friends in no time. There was such a sweet energy that pervaded the whole week, and it was very addictive! But it came to an end last Saturday (in that form, at least), and just as I was packing to come home, while trying to keep it together after an emotional closing ceremony and way too little sleep the night before and the night before that, I got a call from Rick saying that my flight had been cancelled and that I had been rescheduled on a later flight. There had been major storms over the eastern part of the country the night before, and it messed up the scheduling of the airlines in a major way—so much so, that there were people stranded in airports all over the country. With my original schedule, I was already not supposed to get to Denver till 10 p.m., and this was going to put me in at 11:30 p.m. at the earliest. Well—being as tired as I was, that news pulled the plug on my emotions, and I had a meltdown. (Hey—that’s step 3 in the Step-By-Step Frequency Raising System!) Thankfully, my helpful angel, Janice, helped me pack and Linda, my sister who lives in Greensboro, along with her husband, Stan, came to get me and my stuff. (Linda met Laraaji as we were leaving, and was thoroughly charmed as well.)
After we left Guilford College where the conference was held, Linda and I went to lunch and then did a lot of driving around and looking at houses and gardens (Greensboro is a gorgeous city and the neighborhood where they live is on a lake--really neat) which was big fun for me, and a great, passive way to spend "sister time" together. Then we went to her house so I could take a nap before heading to the airport at 6:00. She and her husband were going to drop me off at the airport on their way to see a movie. But when we got there, we found out that while my flight from Dulles to Denver was on time, my flight from Greensboro to Dulles was late. So there was more than a little likelihood of me being stranded in D.C. overnight. So they rescheduled me on a different airline for the next morning. Linda and Stan graciously allowed me to accompany them on their movie date to see A Prairie Home Companion, so at least I had something fun to do if I couldn’t go home! It was the perfect movie for the situation, and that the theater had the most comfortable theater seats I’ve ever experienced was a big help.
Thankfully, my flight out the next morning went off without a hitch, and I easily made my connection in Cincinnati , and got home at 1:30 in the afternoon. Even though I had wheelchair service all the way, I was utterly exhausted by the time I got home, and the next day, could barely walk because of my knee, even using a cane. Yikes. I’m focusing again on healing it, and I will be getting serious about finding help for it—natural as possible (thinking about prolotherapy)—and doing what I can mentally to heal it. I also have had a cold gunning for me, and thankfully, with all my many natural remedies such as essential oils, Ningxia Red juice, oregano capsules, and Thieves lozenges, and a healing mindset, have managed to, if not avoid the cold altogether, cycle through it very rapidly. Rick has been really wonderful through all this and has helped me immensely.
So that’s my update for now! More when Spirit moves me…