Confession is good for the soul

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There is much more to what I'm about to tell you than will fit in this one blog entry. I believe it's important enough to devote as much space as necessary to it, so this will be the first of a series in telling my current healing story. It's my huge learning at this time, and that means, it's my big teaching as well. I've been putting off sharing this for a variety of reasons--the main one, I believe, is embarrassment. I'm past that now--at least, mostly.

You know from my recent blog entry about Spain (and others preceding it) that I've been having a lot of trouble with my knees. I haven't wanted you--or anyone--to know how bad it had gotten. Or that, for the last 10 years (up until about a month ago), I've been on a pharmaceutical drug called "Enbrel" (an immune suppressant with dangerous side effects). It quit working recently, and after a depressing visit to the rheumatologist, who insisted I needed to go on another couple of toxic meds, with worse side effects than the Enbrel, I just felt everything in me say "NO!" It is time to get right with mySelf on all levels, and start trusting my Spirit with my health again, even if it's inconvenient and requires changing my life.

Why has my physical condition been too embarrassing to reveal? I'm Easy World Julia! I'm supposed to live in Easy World, where everything is easy. That, however, is something you can't do when you're out of alignment with your Spirit. What I've been experiencing with my body in recent months has definitely not been an EW experience. I'm the one who, in 1982, was guided to get off all medication and put rheumatoid arthritis in remission by following her Spirit--the very thing that led me to Eden--and who has made that very public, so I'm doubly embarrassed not to have been able to maintain that level of wellness. My main message is that the key to reaching the higher vibration necessary to experience Paradise is to follow your Spirit no matter what. When it comes to my health--especially, my eating--I have not been, at least, not fully, walking my talk. That is all changing.

Why do I feel I can finally reveal this now? Because I am at the point where I am once again being called to a level of impeccability with aligning with my Spirit that is unmatched in my experience since those days in 1982 when I found myself on the amazing path of healing that led me to cosmic consciousness. I can no longer dodge the call. My body is absolutely dictating that I heed it. I have been holding out in a number of ways,
obeying my appetites, and my harmful habits, as well as giving into my fears and the fears of others, and I just can't do it anymore and survive. (As you may have noticed it is one of my great challenges to accept my human-ness and to forgive myself for not doing this all perfectly!)

Last week, I could barely walk, even using a walker, and was in so much pain, I had to loudly and forcefully blow out air or yell "Ow!" to even take a step (you should have heard me making my way down the hall!). Getting from the edge of my bed to the toilet, literally just five feet away, was a feat that would sometimes take 15 minutes--or much longer sometimes when I would find myself too terrified to even try to stand up. Sitting there on the bed for forty-five minutes just getting up the courage to do it was not uncommon.

After reaching the point a few weeks ago where I was desperate and calling out to Spirit for answers, I was guided to go to Spain to the clinic for therapeutic fasting. That felt so, so right--and still does. However, as the state of my knees continued to decline, I was not sure how in the world I would be able to get there if I couldn't walk, but I knew that Spirit did.

Some hours after asking for help specifically for my knees, an inner voice told
me very clearly to Google "knee specialist, Denver," so I went right to the computer and did it. What I found with ease was information on a procedure called "Knee Vitality," administered at present only in Los Angeles and...Denver! (They treat the Dancing With the Stars folks!) I contacted the pain management center here that does them, and went in for a consultation week-before-last. (Thankfully, our insurance has paid for a rental wheelchair so I could get there!) I loved the place and the staff, and it was clear to me after the visit that this was to be the answer to my prayer for how I would walk well enough to get to Spain.

So I went in Wednesday for the first of three injections of a mixture of medicines (including the dreaded corticosteroids that I have been studiously avoiding for 27 years) and a form of hyaluronic acid that creates a buffer where cartilage has worn away. (Even though my main problem is rheumatoid arthritis, I have very little cartilage left in my right knee due to osteoarthritis.) They do this procedure using x-rays to see exactly where to place the needles. It was very fast and not very traumatic. Even though it involved 2 of my things on the list to avoid--steroids and x-rays--I didn't have the heebie-jeebies at all, a sure sign I was in the embrace of Spirit.

The injections were a success, as I was pretty sure they would be. I am not yet walking normally (glad I'll be getting 2 more treatments), but am far and away better off than I was. As Rick noted, I'm not puffing and blowing when I walk, and not screeching in pain. My right knee, which had been so swollen and stiff I could not straighten it or put weight on it for a very long time after sleeping or even sitting for awhile (this is why it took so long to get to the bathroom), is no longer swollen, and I can get up and down with relative ease. Yes, I'm VERY well aware that this is a temporary solution, but it will get me to Spain where my intensive healing can commence. Meantime, I've already lost 10 lbs. with ease, just from eating as my Spirit is guiding me to instead of the way I was.

I feel so blessed.

More soon...



Meredith Bede Aldrich said:

Dear Julia: I had no idea you'd been having such a tough time with your knees ( a foray into DW). I was born with an unattached right knee cap so I have some DW experiences myself with one knee, but nothing like what you're describing. Abraham says if we stay in appreciation, our bodies won't hurt. I try to remember that as I'm trying to walk ten steps without grimacing. Thank you for sharing with us, your fans, so we can hold energy for you being whole, healed and pain free soon. Love, Mere

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This page contains a single entry by Julia published on November 23, 2009 1:01 AM.

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