December 2005 Archives

The Elephant

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Today Rick and I went to Creekside Cellars, our favorite little winery and lunch spot in Evergreen, Colorado, a little mountain town just a 40-minute-or-so drive from our home in Denver. Usually when we go to Creekside, it’s warm and we sit outside on the cantilevered deck that overhangs Bear Creek, but as it was in the low 40s and windy today, that was not a viable option. I will pick back up here after I deliver the “back story” to our adventure…

It was a charmed day. We programmed it to be. First off, if you’ve read my blog for awhile, you know that I automatically assume that our little mini-adventures are going to be great. We just love taking them, so we are predisposed to joyfulness whenever we head up to the mountains on a day trip, or, in this case, a half-day trip. I have been extra joyful for the last few days anyway—the ORMUS I have been taking seems to be very supportive of that, and you know that I’m always intending to head in the direction of joy!

Yesterday, when we were discussing going, we were talking about it being an adventure but that it wouldn’t be much of one because we would probably just be heading to the winery, then to our favorite little coffee house in Indian Hills and then home without doing much exploring. But we agreed that even something mundane and planned could include exciting and adventurous elements, and I said, “Yeah—we could see an elephant walking on the side of the highway or something!”
And oh-so-practical
Rick reminded me that it would be a poor time weather-wise for an elephant to have to be out walking in Colorado.

As we drove out I-70 today, we made the intention to have an exciting adventure, to see something unusual, and that it be really, REALLY fun! I mentioned the elephant again and said to myself, “even if we don’t see an elephant on the side of the road, I expect to see an elephant somewhere!” and envisioned an elephant sculpture or photo. And then I forgot about it. But I was definitely bubbling over with joy, which is highly supportive to the creation of "magic"...

When we got to Creekside, it was packed (but we got a parking spot, which is a little magical considering they hardly have enough). A tiny two-top came open almost right away, and though there were others waiting, we were the only pair, so we got it (another bit of magic). When we went to the wine bar to choose our wine, they gave us huge glasses—elephantine glasses you might say—and when one of the other people standing at the bar commented on how large they were, the woman behind the counter said, “They hold a full bottle of wine plus an extra regular glass-worth.” We all expressed our doubts, so she proceeded to demonstrate with a wine bottle filled with water. Sure enough, the glass held the volume in the bottle and then some! That was certainly unusual, and we had intended to see something unusual!

We had a sublime time together, talking about meaningful stuff, just enjoying each other, and the whole experience was just perfect. After our late lunch, we headed to Indian Hills for dessert and sat in the comfy chairs in the corner where we usually do. As we were enjoying our coffee and the chocolate éclair cake that we split, I saw something spectacular—something I’d never noticed before. There, on the bookshelf directly in front of me at my eye level, was an elephant. No, it wasn’t an elephant on the side of the road; it was a brass elephant bookend. But it was an elephant nonetheless!

Who knows? If I hadn’t backed off my intention of seeing an elephant walking on the side of the road and indicated I’d settle for something less unusual, I might have seen a real elephant today, but as it was, I saw exactly what I programmed for seeing. Don’t ya just love the way the Law of Attraction works? And perhaps the coolest part is was how thrilled I was to see it. Next time I ask to see an elephant, I’ll ask in warm weather so the worry about its health won’t be a factor!

Oh yes—I added two new articles to the articles page today. Check them out!

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My first time

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After reading about it and researching it, thinking about it, praying about it and waiting till I had time to experience it without other things pulling me this way and that, I ingested my first ORMUS material today (for some background, see the blog entry from 07 Dec called "Mfkzt."). The material I took “Transformational Elixir” by Priestess Alchemy. I have been using their “Cleopatra’s Milk” on my skin, so I have taken in some ORMUS via my skin, but today, I took my first amounts of ORMUS orally. I took ¼ teaspoon of the elixir as per instructions. Prior to putting it into my mouth, I said a prayer that it would assist me in reaching my potential, in enhancing my awareness and sense of connectedness, and in becoming more fully authentically empowered. That is what felt right in the moment. Next time, I’m going to visualize my nerves and brain and endocrine system lighting up with Divine Light.

I put it under my tongue and held it there 20 seconds before adding some water and swishing it around, then I swallowed it (it didn’t have much taste—a little sweetness from being sweetened with agave.) I drank some Concord grape juice a few minutes later as it is high in m-state minerals and it seemed the thing to do. At first, I really didn’t feel very much, and wondered if the vague sense of euphoria was simply me, psyching myself out and just feeling my communion with my Spirit through the prayer I had said (although—who’s to say that all of our life experiences isn’t just us, psyching ourselves out?!).

What I did notice (and still notice) is that I found it easier to recognize ego and to feel the dissonance and drop in frequency whenever ego decided to offer an opinion, thus making it easier to make a conscious choice to rise above it. At one point, I was typing and found myself thinking so fast and my fingers flying to keep up and I made more mistakes than usual. I had started with my neck out of whack, which tends to make me a little spacey anyway, so no telling how much of the typing issue was the ORMUS or the skeletal issues. I took my second dose an hour ago, and am having no problem typing now, so who knows? I noticed a tingly sensation around my forehead, and found that I was a little light-headed ("White Light"-headed?!) and very mellow.

An hour or so after I took my first dose, I could feel that my frequency was peaking and I was experiencing the glorious joy space despite my wonky neck! Yes—it seemed that the ORMUS was facilitating a rise in frequency.

I really wanted to spend the time in my happy place, having communion with my Spirit, just listening to music and appreciating my experience, but that was not to be as I was called upon to do some administrative duties. I handled them just fine, but would rather not have had to—partly because I still had a bit of the neck issue going on, and mostly because I was feeling so sublime from the ormus, I just wanted to be free to explore it. The cool part was, my inner child didn't get bent out of shape about not being able to just follow the stream of consciousness the she often has in such situations--I just did what needed to be done with a minimum of internal complaint--a happy development! I was also able to do my workout without a problem, and the oxygenation felt really great--but then, it always does...

I will continue to report on this experience as it unfolds. I am hoping it not only increases my left-right brain integration, and my sense of God Knowingness, but that it helps my physical body the way it is reputed to do. I realize this could possibly mean some healing crises, but I am willing to go through those if need be—though I’m allowing for that not having to happen, too! Not having managed to stay at the highest frequency I was at when I was in Switzerland all those years ago, I still deal with rheumatoid arthritis, and would love for it to go away completely as others have reported it to!

Just a word to anyone reading this who may be thinking of trying ORMUS on a lark—don’t. This is not something to be entered into lightly or for the novelty of it. Do the research (Here is a great place to start: . Know what this is all about. Understand the spiritual and physical impact it can have. And, most importantly, search your heart and soul and ask your Spirit for guidance. Naturally, only when you have a green light from your God-Realized Self, is it right for you to proceed.

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I have not forgotten about blogging, but I’ve been preoccupied with the many, many tasks involved in even my simplified Christmas preparations! I spent much of Wednesday and Thursday mixing, forming, and baking “Do Not Opens” for gifts for the neighbors and for Rick to take to work. Do Not Opens are intense little cheese “cookies” that my mom used to make. I started making them for gifts a couple of years ago and they were an instant hit—and an instant tradition. Now the neighbors ask about them.

Why the name? Well family lore has it that Mom sent some to someone via my sister’s family, who were taking a road trip, and sealed the tin with tape and a warning label that said “DO NOT OPEN,” in hopes that the little treats would actually make it to their intended recipient. (My sister’s kids are notorious “Do Not” scarfers, so Mom figured there would be a better chance of there being some left at the end of the trip if they were never even opened!). Henceforth and forevermore, they were dubbed “Do Not Opens” by the family. They are quite addictive. They are made from butter, flour (I make them with chickpea flour but the original recipe calls for regular flour), extra sharp Tillamook cheese, and ground pecans with cayenne and salt—very simple. I miscalculated and accidentally added a significant amount of extra cheese to the last batch I made and found that they are even better (which would have seemed an impossibility) with additional cheese, heaven help us! Making the Do Nots helped me feel especially close to Mom this first Christmas since she made her transition.

We’re having Rick’s mom and sister over for Christmas dinner. It’s the last major holiday effort I’m planning to make. The cooking will be fine, but the house is filthy and Rick and I will need to work on that tomorrow. I don’t seem to be able to keep up with housekeeping as I go—it takes having people over to really light a fire under me to get stuff done, so it’s helpful that they’re coming, even though right now, I kind of dread the cleaning. It’s always so nice when it’s all over with though and the house looks great!

Last night, I set up my January free teleseminar and it’s going to be on spiritual emergencies…emergences…emergenc(i)es! Check out the details here. (As always, be on my mailing list to receive the access details.) I am planning to write an article on that topic, too. I am really getting fired up to do more writing. I had an astrological reading a couple of weeks ago, and was told that right now and for the next 2 years is perhaps the best writing time of my life. And I feel that. I just need to get focused. I’ll be glad when the holidays are behind us so that I can totally devote myself to writing. The holidays always seem like a big speed bump on the road of life. I’m ready to pick up speed and roll on!

Meantime, I need to remember that Christmas is not just about busyness, and not necessarily just a celebration of the birth of an amazing man named Jesus. For me it is a celebration of the emergence of Christ Consciousness, which is truly the Light of the world. Here’s affirming that you’ll find sacredness and meaning in these special days as well as every day, and that you’ll continue to let your Light shine to light up the darkness for others.

As a gift to the Recreating Eden mailing list, I did not send out a holiday greeting (one less piece of email to deal with!), so for my "official" holiday message, click here: .Have a joy-filled, magical Christmas, Hanukkah, or whatever you’re celebrating!

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The Yahoo group, "Higher Self Communication," that Barbara Rose started, has been drawing my attention lately. There are lots of spiritually-oriented women out there who are involved in relationships with men that are not supporting their joy, which frustrates them, and I felt guided to respond to several posts to the list yesterday. Here is one of the responses I wrote that brought through some points that people appreciated:
“…Once we glimpse a man's divinity, we tend to hang on in
hopes of drawing it out and of somehow fanning it's flame and seeing him
live up to the potential that we've seen. I've been there and done that,
and it wasn't too successful! Only when I became unwilling to settle for
anything less than a man who was in touch with his divinity and
consciously living his truth was I able to attract/create a man who was
in touch with his divinity and consciously lives his truth.

There's another syndrome that is common where we are in a relationship
that meets many of our needs, but is sadly lacking in something we
really long for such as true intimacy, or real commitment and we say,
"Well, it's not great, but it's pretty good--probably as good as it's
going to get." And so, we settle. This is reinforced by the fact that
pretty much everyone we know has settled for less than wonderful, so we
don't believe it can be better. But IT CAN.

True--there's no flawless human being out there somewhere--as long as
we're human, there are aspects of us that need polishing. And until we
perfect ourselves by aligning completely with our God Realized Self,
there is no perfection, period. BUT, there are beings that are the right
match for us, and we ARE capable of attracting the right person who can
be truly intimate and someone who is ready to commit to creating a
fulfilling partnership!

Here's the thing, folks: WE are the creators. WE are creating our
experience based on the patterns within us. Relationships are mirrors of
our inner relationship with our God Self. Until you are committed to
having nothing less than your God Self deserves, you will continue to
manifest "less than" relationships. How committed ARE you to creating
something fulfilling? If you're involved with a noncommital man, it's
because part of you is not committed as well. If you were completely
committed to having that deeply fulfilling relationship and to honoring
God In You, you would not waste a minute, much less years, with a man
who was not ready! The idea that if you patiently wait and bide your
time till he's ready that he will come to your door one day, sweep you
off your feet, and you will live happily ever after is not fulfilling NOW.
NOW is the only time there is. And the likelihood that things are going
to unfold that way is very slim. Very slim, indeed. Not saying impossible, but slim.

I say, do whatever it takes to attune yourself with your God Realized
Self NOW and honor your own divinity. Make the total committment to
that, and you will have the perfect committed relationship within
yourself and that will be reflected in what shows up in your
relationships with other humans.”
Then, one person on the list posted this elegantly simple Sanskrit prayer
that goes, “Tvameva Mata ver Pita, Tvameva bandhu ver sakha…"
which translates to: “God, you are my Mother, my Father, my Friend my Mate…”

Isn’t that just perfect?!

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Oh, Christmas Tree!

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I really have simplified Christmas this year, and it feels SO much better than last year, when I knew I needed to, but didn’t really know how, and had already gotten way into it before I realized how much it was draining me. After my teleseminar this past week on loosening the grip of shoulds, etc., it really seemed that I needed to walk my talk more than ever, and it is freeing up my energy greatly. There is still much to do, but this year, I’ve cut down my gift list (there were lots of gifts I was giving that I’m sure people appreciated, but that I felt were not really important to do, such as gifts to my great nieces and nephews, who hardly know me, and who get SO much stuff at Christmas, mine was just one more gift in an orgy of gifts). Also, instead of shopping for the Hamrick girls this year, we are giving them money (which is what teenagers seem to want most), and a special ornament to go in the angel ornament collection I started for each of them five years ago. Most of what shopping I’m going to do, I’ve done online. I’ve done a little less decorating, this year, and managed to get the kids to help us with carrying boxes up and down from the basement. That, in itself, made quite a difference in my energy.

You know—there’s just so much about Christmas I can’t buy into anymore—the materialistic part, the mistaken notions about how and where Jesus was born—heck, even the generally accepted idea of what he was all about—the whole concept of Christianity has been so perverted over the centuries. So, I feel less enthusiastic about a lot of the traditional symbols of Christmas. But the one thing I just won’t give up on is a fresh Christmas tree. I just LOVE my trees! I love everything about a Christmas tree—the fragrance, the lights, the ornaments—some sparkly, some less showy, but dear nonetheless, and, of course, the memories from all the years of collecting them. I love every phase of decorating it—and, of course, I have a specific order for each one! First, layering the ribbon garland, then the plain red glass balls, the gold rattan stars, the crocheted snowflakes, the special favorite ornaments front and center, the less favorites to the back, the needlepoint ones from Aunt Lee, then the crystal icicles, the silver bells, and filling in with the white ornaments wherever there’s a hole when you squint. Then, the crowning touch is the candy canes. Lots and lots.

Stepdaughters #3 and #4 were over today and I got a lot of teasing about how much stuff I was putting on the tree. “It’s not right till it’s waaaaaay over the top,” I told them. Not sure they bought that, but they did say it looked good! Their mom has decided to boycott Christmas and all the Christmas traditions this year and take them to the Bahamas —they told us she says she’s “given up on Christmas.” While I do understand how crazy the whole season is, and, after all, am making the effort to do less unnecessary stuff, I also know that the girls appreciate having a holiday atmosphere at our house, even if they think I’m a little eccentric with my over-the-top tree. My hope is that someday in the future, they’ll think of me at Christmastime with fondness and smile that I got so very, very into my Christmas trees! And someday, when I’m no longer on the planet and they have inherited all my ornaments, they’ll enjoy them just as much. Or…maybe they’ll sell them at a yard sale. Who knows?! I won’t care by then. But for now, I love to think that I’m making an impression on them of someone finding joy in a passionate pursuit and not caring if anyone else thinks it's too much!

Oh, and one more thing—I was looking for information on the history of Christmas trees today, and found this that I had never heard before. I thought it stunning:

"The Christmas tree tradition dates back to Western Germany in the 16th century. They were called "Paradeisbaum" (paradise trees) and were brought into homes to celebrate the annual Feast of Adam and Eve on DEC-24."

What do you know? Adam and Eve strike again!

Now, here's a look at Julia's extravaganza 2005. The closeup was prior to the candy canes going on. (And, as you can see, Roly and Lilah were helping in their own way. What you don't see is that Rick helped by taking a nap!)










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It’s a couple of hours after tonight’s teleseminar, and I’m coming down from my energy high. It was a wonderful gathering and I was so happy that many people spoke up and asked questions and made comments. While the talks are always high-energy, this was the most dynamic discussion segment of any we’ve had thus far. Usually, when I ask for questions or comments, it’s me and maybe one other person at a time having a discussion, but tonight, we had a bit more of a pow-wow. Loved it! We had some technical difficulties to start with and the tape recorder wasn’t taping, but it turned out to be a simple resolution—I had dialed in on the wrong line—the recorder is set up only on my office line and I had used our personal line! Thankfully, I think everyone hung in while I hung up and called back on the business line. Mercury retrograde still playing havoc even though it’s gone direct again. It’s the “shoulder period.” I won’t be sad to see its retrograde influence fade on away!

As I mentioned last year around this time, back in the mid-1990s, I got very interested in the alchemical substance(s) called many names including ORMUS, mfkzt (pronounced moof-kooz-tee), the Philosopher’s Stone, white powder of gold, manna, monatomic, monoatomic, ORME, m-state, etc., when I first learned about David Hudson. He is an Arizona farmer who had discovered a strange phenomenon while trying to recover precious minerals from piles of goldmine tailings found on his property. I am lousy at chemistry and physics, and my memory on the details is fuzzy, but the gist of it is that he found that at a certain stage of the assay process, the mass of the minerals would disappear and then reappear. He spent $8 million working to discover the whys and the wherefores of this phenomenon and synchronistically, came upon some esoteric information that he matched up with what the lab discoveries were and deduced that he had rediscovered the Philosopher’s Stone. To read the story for real, you can go to . It is quite a tale.

Anyhooo…At the time, I invested money in his “Science of the Spirit Foundation,” which was to finance the building of a facility to process the material to create ORMEs (Hudson’s name for the substance—it stands for orbitally rearranged monoatomic elements). It turned out that David Hudson’s enterprise to process this substance failed (that’s a whole long story in itself) and I kind of let the whole thing go for the last five or six years. But I find myself fascinated with this once more, and in doing a Google search for something else, came across a lot of great information on it. I signed up for the ORMUS Yahoo Group and for a local group as well, and I am so excited to be learning lots and lots about it. Since I had last checked, it seems that quite a few people are utilizing various methods to make ORMUS and there are simple ways novices can do it at home with relatively inexpensive equipment, extracting it from magnetically charged water, for one. I’m investigating all the various possibilities, and there are alchemists with varying degrees of expertise producing products that are ORMUS-based. Why does this fascinate me? For this, I will allow you to do a little of your own investigation! The best place to start is by going to and following your curiosity from link to link!

I finally got a duvet cover for the down comforter I got for Christmas last year (I didn’t want to use it till I found the right cover) and it is heavenly. In fact, it’s calling me to bed! As it’s snowing and 4 degrees above 0 outside right now and dropping, I will really, really enjoy it tonight!

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A very rich day

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We had an out-of-character experience tonight—we attended a $175-a-plate fundraiser for the local branch of Girls Inc., (used to be Girls Club) that empowers girls to achieve and have high self-esteem. We went because Rick’s sister is a big supporter, and she and her husband had paid for a table and were looking for folks to sit at it, so we were invited. I’m betting that we had the least money of anyone there except, perhaps, the wait staff!

We were surrounded by millionaires, and it was amazing to see them spending thousands of dollars during the live auction just like it was nothing! I found myself thinking how cool it would be to be able to spend $5000 like that just as if it were $50. Of course, I’m not willing to do for the money what many of them have had to do for it—mine will have to come through me expressing myself passionately through books and workshops and stuff I love!

The whole evening was a lot more fun than I had expected it to be. It was a blue jeans affair and they served fried chicken in buckets, so it was very casual (thank goodness, or Rick and I would have had to decline!). Jeff Foxworthy, the comedian who is most famous for his “You might be a redneck if…” monologue, was the entertainer and he is side-splittingly funny. He did a 90-minute show and toward the end, I was praying he was almost finished because I was both exhilarated and exhausted from the non-stop belly laughing!

The most exciting thing of the day, however, was that I met a new friend for lunch. Someone I got acquainted with from a event that Rick and I hosted emailed me last weekend and told me she had come across a Denver author that seemed to have much the same message as I do. I thought “Yeah, right.” But when I went and checked out his website, I found that our messages are quite parallel with the main difference seeming to be that he belongs to a Greek Orthodox church and, thus, very religion-oriented. I emailed him to suggest that we meet for lunch and got an enthusiastic reply so exchanged a few more emails and met today.

I feel like I have found my long, lost brother! He is so open-hearted and open-minded and our messages are truly so similar even though his is so strongly influenced by his church. We exchanged books and I’m eager to spend some time with his. He’s already read the introduction and Ch. 4 of mine before we had lunch and really resonated with it. I read a chapter from the next book he’s working on, and though I loved what he was saying, the language was a bit of a barrier. I will confess to having a major challenge with some of the more traditional religious terminology. And he seems to talk a LOT about “the devil.” I told him the next time we met for lunch, that would be our topic. I’m hoping he will have read my take on that by then and understand my perspective on the reptilian brain and the ego and energy in reverse polarity and…no devil! He’s certainly free to continue thinking however he does, but when I read his book and when we have conversations, I will have to translate “the devil” into my own terms to be able to deal with it!

Devil or no, I’m just thrilled to have connected with Tom Cladis.

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Thoughts on manifesting

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I am more and more aware every day of exactly how powerful we are as creators. Sometimes I feel as if we’ve been put in the driver’s seat of a Lamborghini where we can reach the gas pedal, but we aren’t tall enough to see over the steering wheel! We’re full speed ahead with immense power responding to our every nuance, but we don’t know where we’re going—don’t even know all the wondrous destinations that are available to us, can’t see the road, or the potholes, and don’t have a good feel for the very sensitive steering mechanism! To top it off, we're not even aware that we're the driver!

Of course, this is where we need to allow our Spirit to navigate—that way, we don’t need to see over the steering wheel. “Desire” means “of the Father” in Latin, so if we trust that God In Us is supplying us with the desires, we can trust that God in us can guide us to them. But we need to be driving with our conscious minds. As I rise in frequency and see higher and higher, I not only see “over the steering wheel” more often, I can even see more clearly how the engine works and that my conscious choices are so important. Ego is meant to be the driver, but only if Spirit is the navigator is the ride smooth and taking us to a harmonious destination with a harmonious experience on the way. In training our conscious minds to drive, we need to see that all the blessings of the Universe are ours for the choosing, and that the ones that will be most in harmony are the ones that feel the most joyful and choosing those on purpose, because as I’ve said many times, joy is the hallmark of higher frequency, of being in the realm of your Spirit.

The choosing part has always been the challenge for me. I may have mentioned before that I am a Myers-Briggs “P”-type, and I've always felt that I needed to keep my options open. It has felt like the death of options whenever I have been faced with making a choice. But that is such a delusion. I used to do a lot of collage work, and it freaked me out to glue down a piece of paper or other media—so final, that. But what I learned is until I’ve glued the piece down, I’m stymied and nothing can move forward. But once I glue the piece down, it opens up a whole new world of creative possibility. It demands that I make the next move—figure out where the next piece goes in relationship to the one before. And so on. So gluing down the first piece--making a choice--isn’t really a death—it is the birth of a multitude of new options.

Any time I’ve been able to make a choice and specify exactly what I’ve wanted, the Universe has delivered it at lightning speed. The problem has been that I’ve always had the anxious thought that perhaps I was not thinking broadly enough—perhaps I wasn’t really imagining the optimal thing for me—perhaps I was leaving out something critical. But what I realized last night as I was falling asleep while I was trying to conjure up a new house, and feeling anxious about it, is that I don’t have to get specific in deciding just how it will look, but I need to focus, instead, on the feeling I want to have (this is not startling news—it’s Manifestation 101). But here’s the big breakthrough: Instead of manifesting a specific house, I can focus on manifesting the experience of shopping for a house and having fabulous choices. And, for good measure, manifesting the sure knowing that “I’ll know it when I see it and will have the wherewithal to buy it and maintain it!”

That really takes the anxiety out of it for me. I think I’ll head on to bed and get to focusing on vibrating a match for the ultimate house-shopping, purchasing, moving and enjoying it all experiences! And for feeling sooooo joyful and delighted in our new house!

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Where To From Here?

About this Archive

This page is an archive of entries from December 2005 listed from newest to oldest.

November 2005 is the previous archive.

January 2006 is the next archive.

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