September 2006 Archives
Today, over on the PI forum, someone asked about the power of getting really pissed off to release resistance to manifesting and I was inspired to tell my juicer story. So I'm posting it here for your enjoyment!
I wanted a centrifugal juicer for years and years. Ever since I had been at a natural healing clinic in Zurich and had fresh juices, I had thought "a juicer is for me!" But the kind I wanted was very expensive--$300--and, while floundering around trying to answer my inner calling and not making a whole lot of money, I never could seem to prioritize getting a juicer.
One day. after years of thinking how a juicer would be the answer to many health issues, but still not manifesting the juicer, I just got totally pissed off at the absurdity of wanting a $300 thing that would be so good for me and not being able to manifest it. At this point, I was still thinking that some higher power had to give it to me, and didn't realize that *I* was putting up a wall of resistance around it with my ideas of how it had to come to me.
So...I was out in nature, by a lake, and I yelled "THAT'S IT! I'VE HAD IT!!! IT'S PUT UP OR SHUT UP TIME!!! EITHER GIVE ME THE (expletives) JUICER WITHIN A WEEK, OR TAKE AWAY MY DESIRE FOR ONE!" It felt really good to release that way.
At the time, I was living at my parents' home while I was writing my book, and my dad was having really bad allergy problems. When I had been in the health food store a few days before my "yelling at the Universe" moment, I had seen a little $2 booklet on allergies, so I bought it for him--I never looked at it myself--just handed it to him. When I got home from the lake that afternoon and walked in the door, he had the booklet in hand and said, "You know--this makes really good sense. They say to cleanse your liver and to use fresh juices. Where can we get a vegetable juicer? They recommend something called a centrifugal juicer."
To say I was stunned was an understatement. By week's end, there was a brand new $300 Acme juicer on the kitchen counter. Dad's romance with it fizzled quickly when he realized that juicing didn't exactly compensate for his other habits he wasn't ready to let go of. (He was making vegetable juice to use in a Bloody Mary!) *I,* of course was the one that used the juicer. When I moved out a couple of years later, I asked him if I could take the juicer, and he had forgotten he had even bought it! He said, "I thought it was yours--take it!"
Anyway, that's the story of my getting fed up, yelling at the powers that be and letting go. And receiving! Whatever it takes to get out of the way. (grin)
The really ironic part is that I rarely use the juicer I was so desperate for then! I used it quite abit for several years, but my current kitchen is too small to keep it out on the counter all the time. HOWEVER, after reviewing this story, it occurred to me that it is time to juice again. I bought organic beets and carrots the other day to juice and just hadn't made time for it yet. So, I'm off to juice right now! AND, it also occurred to me that I need to use my "get pissed" technique to break through whatever resistance is holding my new, bigger kitchen with room to leave the juicer out on the counter at a distance!
Here's the problem with that for me: I love creating the newsletter! I love almost everything about it. I love deciding what goes in it, I love writing new articles, I love choosing the photo, I love working with Tony, our webmaster, on it, and I love seeing it all together, and I love that delicious moment it arrives in my inbox, because I know it's also arrived in yours.
For me, it feels like creating a special gift and sending it out is presenting it to you. Besides, knowing a new season has come and it's time to get a new newsletter out is a big motivator for me. It prompts me to write and to think about what I want to share as news and as insights. Yes--a newsletter is a valuable thing for me. And hopefully, for you! So don't expect it to go away anytime soon. According to Rick and Tony, this coming issue is the best yet, so look for it Tuesday.
If you aren't on my email list, just look to the right of this page and add your email address in the little yellow box. You'll get more than just the quarterly newsletter when you do--my newsletter subscribers also get the access information for the free teleseminars I offer monthly (approximately!).
Just a quick report on my session with Master Chunyi Lin (see the last blog post for more on this). It was fascinating--mostly because there was so little to it on my end! Probably if I had been in the room with him, I would have seen him doing something, but as it was, we said a few words of greeting, he asked me to drink some water and get comfortable while he did his thing. I was on the phone with him for 5 minutes during which there was silence, then he said, "Hang up the phone and go meditate for 30 minutes." So I did. Immediately when I started to meditate, I burst into tears for no apparent reason, and sobbed for 2-3 minutes. I did not resist this at all, and actively let go to it, as it felt to me like an important emotional release.
Other than that, and a bit of sinus clearing, I really could not tell much of a change had occurred, and I was disappointed that my knees were stiff when I got up. BUT, it's more than 48 hours later, and my knees are much better AND I haven't needed anything for pain. So I'm thinking my session with Master Lin is at least partly responsible for that. More than anything, I have felt an inner psychological/emotional shift. I feel very much more optimistic about my physical situation. And that's worth a LOT! I am very grateful.
Oooohhh--and one more thing. Since the weather was not conducive to aspen viewing yesterday, and Rick had taken the day off so we could go, we went to see the movie Little Miss Sunshine. In a word: GO!
Sigh…Tonight was designated for the first-ever Group Attunement session. But it was not meant to be. I made a technical error, and everyone received an access code that had one digit missing!
How I discovered it was that I called in right on the hour, and was the first one there. At 3 minutes after the hour, I was still the only one there. These people had paid to be there, so I was very suspicious! I sent an instant message to Rick, who was in the basement, and he figured it out. He immediately sent the correct access code to everyone who was supposed to be on the call, and four of the six who were registered made it onto the line eventually. We actually had a fun chat and arranged to move the session to next Monday night.
I know it was all in Divine Order, but it was still a bit of a challenge to shake off. To my credit, I only spent a few seconds being upset with myself (yes, I know—it will be a great thing when I can be totally cool with whatever happens!). It was a bit of a disappointment though. I had been really psyched up to do the session. I had spent the afternoon preparing by looking over the group’s questions and by raising my frequency, and I was excited about the challenge, so it was somewhat of a let down. Happily, I found myself giving a spontaneous mini-seminar to those on the line, and that felt good because it was a release for some of the pent up energy! It was really actually a benefit to be able to visit with those who made it tonight—everyone was so nice, it put my performance anxiety to rest. I know I’ll love next Monday night!
Now, for a topic change. This weekend, I spent nursing my knees—last week, my left knee finally got fed up with taking the load for my right knee, and swelled up like an elephant’s. So I couldn’t count on either knee to support me reliably. And yes—it really scared me. Thursday was when this started coming to a head, and I realized that I really needed to surrender and listen very carefully to instructions from my Self about what to do. That night, I called out for assistance, did my surrender ritual, and felt an inner shift.
Friday, I had the intuition to email a friend who is an acupuncturist (she’s the wife of my ex-husband and SUCH a neat lady!), and describe my symptoms to her to see if she thought acupuncture would be helpful. She said they sounded like symptoms of a long-term kidney problem (kidneys and knees are the same meridian, I think), asked me a bunch of questions, including if I consume caffeine. I immediately sensed this was a big part of the problem. While I have been a drinking decaf latte in the mornings, I have been drinking 2 big mugs of full-caffeine English tea in the afternoons. Only a minute or so after I read her message, I went to the Recreating Eden listing on Amazon, and there was a new review, by someone I’d never heard of—but she was the author of a book exposing the dangers of caffeine! So I took this as a Spirit wink. Without going into detail now, I got a lot of signs that I was on the right track and that my prayers were answered. As always! Thankfully, this time, I created a clear pathway for the answers to make their way through and was paying close attention. I felt really confident for the first time since this knee business started almost a year ago, and no longer terrified.
Needless to say, I have been drinking herbal tea and doing everything I can think of to support my kidneys, and…the swelling has gone down and I can walk again without fear of my knees buckling. I will be looking into all kinds of things, including diet changes (I’m sure I’ll be blogging about that—it’s a recurring theme in my life). The other thing I did Friday night was to call and see if I could claim the session with Master Chunyi Lin (Spring Forest Qigong) that I was promised in exchange for helping promote his book, Born A Healer (see below) back in the winter. My contact is arranging that now. So I’m hoping to have a phone session with him very soon. Interestingly, the 1st two people who came on the line tonight for our aborted attunement session were familiar with Chunyi—one of them has studied with him personally! They said he was amazing. Connections everywhere…
Well—I’m running out of steam so I’ll sign off now. More soon! Oh yeah—my new affirmation is "I have healthy kidneys and I have kid's knees."
Okay. Something really cool just happened. First, let me set the stage...
You may remember that I was one of the teachers who participated in the bestseller campaign for Wayne Dyer's book, Inspiration, offering a bonus gift in support of people being motivated to buy his book to make it a bestseller on Amazon, BN, etc.
I was very excited to have been asked to do it, but afterward, I said to the Universe, "that's enough campaigns for awhile," because I had done several fairly close together, and when you do them, not only do you need to come up with a bonus to give away, and create special web pages for the campaign, you are asked to send out a message about the book to your list to encourage them to buy the book on that day. I'm very protective of my list, and don't like to send out lots of emails. I know I don't like getting continuous bombardments from the lists I'm on!
Sooooo...since February, no invitations to participate in bestseller campaigns have come to me, though there have been several that I might have expected, based on past experience, to have been included in. The Universe apparently heard me! Part of me was relieved, but part of me was starting to feel left out! Not to mention, having your name and a link to your website sent to millions of people who are into what you're teaching is a really great help in attracting people to your work.
So last night, I said to the Universe, "I'm ready to participate in another campaign if it's in Divine Order."
Tonight, "out of the blue," I got a message from Peggy McColl, the honcho of bestseller campaigns, saying "Gary Renard has put out a new book and Hay House has hired me to do a huge campaign for it and since you were instrumental in his first campaign, I thought you might like to participate in this one."
Do you LOVE it?! Goosebumps on goosebumps! I guess it's in Divine Order! And yes--I told her to count me in!
Doin' the happy Snoopy dance here...
Someone said to me, “I really enjoy reading your blog, but I don’t know how you can be so publicly vulnerable. I would be afraid to do that.”
Let’s look at this concept of vulnerability. Here are the two main definitions offered by m-w.com, Merriam-Webster’s web presence:
1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2 : open to attack or damage : assailable <vulnerable to criticism>
These are definitely ego-based, duality matrix definitions! Semantics, semantics. I define vulnerability as openness and trust. Yes—I do expose my feelings and foibles, and to the ego, that spells danger. Actually, when I let you in on what is going on with me—what I’m experiencing emotionally, exposing my humanness and imperfections—and allow people I don’t know personally to see beyond my façade, what I’m doing is:
a) following the energetic promptings that propel me to share
b) telling the truth and being authentic
c) having faith that I am sheltered vibrationally—that those who are drawn to my blog—to my energy—will naturally, by the Law of Attraction, feel kindly toward me
When I share my inner workings with you, I feel in alignment and empowered! I can tell that I’m in Prime Matrix then, the realm of ease, joy, and peace. What may look to some as putting myself in a position of weakness, is really a position of empowerment. The most powerful “place” of all is that space of being centered in your heart, in alignment with Source, being your authentic Self, and having faith in that. It is also the only truly safe place.
Contrary to what ego would have us believe, real power and safety is not found its protective maneuvers—it’s found in being real and wholeheartedly trusting in Spirit to guide us and in receiving this guidance through paying attention to the energy and how it feels. If it feels joyful, you're in Prime Matrix; when it's fear-inducing, you're in the duality matrix. So, the Webster’s definition of vulnerability occurs when you’re listening to your ego’s fears. My definition is when you’re attuned to your Spirit’s guidance and messages of Love and joy and doing what you’re naturally energized to do, no matter what your ego thinks.
There was a 6.0 earthquake in the Gulf of Mexico this morning, felt as far away as 600 miles from the epicenter. Happily, it didn’t trigger a tsunami! Someone from Florida posted about it on Powerful Intentions, and I was inspired to post the following. I thought you might enjoy reading it, too!
When I lived in Japan in the early '80s, we had earthquakes frequently. Excerpted from my memoirs about my time in Japan, here is my account of an earthquake that happened when I had just moved to Tokyo for the summer where I was teaching in a summer school program and living in the home of a teaching couple who went back to the States for the summer:
In the middle of the night just a week or so after I had moved in, I was awakened suddenly. As I lay there on my futon on the tatami-mat floor of the upstairs bedroom wondering why I had waked up, I noticed the night was very still—much more quiet than usual—and it seemed as if the world was holding its breath. I sensed that something was about to happen, but I had no idea what. After a few moments, the house began to move from side to side, shimmying gently as it swayed. My first response was that I ought to do something but it was instantly clear to me that there was nothing to do. I had the distinct sense of a larger, omnipotent force in control and knew that I was completely at its mercy.
Instead of frightening me, it was somehow greatly comforting, and I lay there feeling oddly at one with the floor, the house, and the quaking earth. Once I released the illusion that there was anything I could do, I relaxed and spent the rest of the thirty or forty seconds enjoying the ride. There was no rumbling, no booming and no jarring up and down motion as there had been in the other episodes that I’d experienced since my arrival. This one felt almost like the earth was dancing. As soon as it stopped, the birds began chirping loudly as if they were discussing the event, and I fell back to sleep feeling unusually safe and secure like a baby who’d been rocked in the bosom of Mother Earth.
This different kind of earthquake experience would come to serve as a model for responding to situations beyond my personal control. To this day, I can still tap into the dynamically peaceful place I found that night in the midst of what seemed at first to be catastrophe in the making, and simply let myself flow with the movement of a greater force.
(Now, to be able to consistently do that in the midst of the everyday stuff!)
This is an entry my ego would prefer I wouldn't post. It's nothing bad--just showing my human-ness. As a spiritual teacher, my ego would rather you think that I am a master at what I teach! Instead, I'm just learning to be one. As I’m writing this, it’s Friday night and it’s been quite a week. Let’s just say that my last thought before starting to write this was “People will get more from a book written by someone who has to use the frequency-raising process herself than by someone who never has times of less-than-joy.”
It all began with my expectations. Rick was off work last week (Aug. 26-Sept. 4), including Monday, which was Labor Day, so he was home for ten days in a row. Which was great—it just changed my routine a bit, and while I wasn’t tied to him during this time, I just was never quite able to feel the total freedom and space within myself to write, so I didn’t. I kept telling myself, “Just wait till next week! I’ll really start fresh on Monday!” Then, I realized I had forgotten Monday was Labor Day, so I said to myself, “That’s okay—just wait till Tuesday!”
Tuesday morning, I was awakened by the loud noise and vibrations of heavy equipment close to my bedroom. The next door neighbor was having a sprinkler system installed. Worse than being awakened by it, my office window is right next to her property line, and is mere inches from the walkway between her front and back yards. Therefore, whenever she is having work done at her house (and she’s had a LOT—new siding, sunroom addition, dead tree removal, weekly mowing and lawn maintenance, and so on), there are men walking back and forth so close to my office and kitchen windows that I can practically count their nose hairs. So there have been ample opportunities for me to know what having work done in her yard means as far as my peace and quiet and privacy! My heart sank. I'm not proud to admit I let my past experience color the moment and set the tone for a not-very-fun week.
I spoke to the foreman (who, even though I asked pleasantly, was very defensive—Rick thinks he’s had some encounters with neighbors before!) and found out that they were planning to be out there for 3 days. THREE DAYS! Have you ever tried to go into a divine trance state and channel a book or do a spiritual attunement for someone with a trencher outside your window loud as thunder, rattling everything, and with people walking back and forth, yelling to each other from time to time? I know there are yogis who can do it, but I’m not there yet! It’s challenging to be as sensitive as I need to be to do what I do, and still be tough enough to not let stuff like that bother me. It’s a challenge I haven’t yet risen to. I’m not going to tell you all the gory details of my week including my not-very uplifting-encounter with my neighbor —just suffice to say that it was not a high-frequency week! Thankfully, I was able to stay in Love while my neighbor and I were talking, and though it was not a lot of fun, it is okay now.
One of the things I was worried about was that I had an attunement scheduled for Thursday at 1 p.m. I checked with my inner guidance and was told it would not be a problem and not to even try to reschedule. I was fine with that, trusting my guidance and knowing it would all work out. But when Thursday came and the foreman told me they’d still be working then, and when they moved the trencher to right outside my office window, along with 3 workers, I finally decided to call and see if my client could move her appointment up so we could do it during the sprinkler workers’ lunch hour, which the foreman told me was from 11:30 to 12:30. Happily, she was available then and was happy to, so we did. But, magically (and just as my inner guidance had been trying to tell me!), the sprinkler people finished, packed up and were gone without a trace by 11:15! I could have saved myself the angst if I had just trusted completely in what I was getting from Spirit instead of what my five senses and my worry-wart ego were telling me! Live and learn. Again. And again.
Today—my first full day without the sprinkler guys—when you'd think I would be jumping into the writing at last—was gray and dreary and I just did not feel the writing spirit calling me, so I let myself off the hook for the most part and did other stuff.
Anyway, that’s enough from my less-than-joyful week—self created, of course. The happy news is, it was not as much of a bummer as it might have been if I had not been practicing being in joy for so long now! While I wasn't exactly dancing with joy, I didn't let things get to me as much as I might once have. I’m still mining the experience for why I needed to create things the way I did, and for how I can create things to be easier and more pleasant. Truth be told, I’ve not spent as much time as I probably needed to in deliberately raising my frequency. Time to get back to that! And speaking of Joe Vitale, he did a blog entry about ho’oponopono, which in Hawaiian means “to make right” that has circulated widely. I have used ho’oponopono a lot this week, especially with the incident with my neighbor, and have seen its power. I recommend reading it!
When I was younger, I had a difficult time enjoying Sunday afternoons because I was so aware that the next day was Monday and the weekend would be over. The implied understanding here is that I wasn’t too crazy about Monday, for various reasons, which is certainly not a unique phenomenon.
For so many, Monday seems to represent leaving your freedom—your energy autonomy—behind and moving back into servitude—be it school or a job—basically, any situation where someone else sets your schedule. During much of college I didn’t like Mondays because it meant my weekend with my boyfriend in another town would soon be over and it would be most of a week before I’d see him again. I forgot to have fun in the moment because I knew it would all change soon.
I wonder how many perfectly lovely Sundays I tainted by grieving the loss of it in advance?
Why is this coming up now? Because it is September, and the garden is looking fabulous, and I know that Jack Frost’s first appearance is just around the corner. “BE HERE NOW!” I command myself as I look out over the garden, watching a hummingbird sip nectar from the Sunset Hyssop, our garden a few weeks’ respite from its migration from a summer in the mountains to winter in the tropics. “Enjoy it fully while it lasts!” I say to the part of me that doesn’t want the hummer to move on—or the season. How silly it seems to allow the knowing that the garden will soon go dormant, and that I will be huddling indoors, to impact my pure enjoyment of its perfection now!
While I was in the garden picking Sweet 100 tomatoes today, I was contemplating the news that Steve Irwin, “The Crocodile Hunter,” left this plane of reality today by being stung in the heart by a stingray off the Great Barrier Reef in his beloved Australia . I often cringed when the man deliberately provoked animals to get a rise out of them in the name of showmanship—but I always admired his full-speed-ahead, live-each-day-as-if-it’s-your-last gusto. He definitely knew passion, seemed always to be living in the moment, and did not seem to spend any time at all backing down on life because it might be over soon! I’d be willing to bet that yesterday, if he had known it was to be his last full day on Earth, he’d not have wasted much if any of it thinking about how it was all about to be over.
If tomorrow turned out to be my last day on Earth, how very annoyed I might be if I had not drunk deeply of the September garden magic because my time-linear, past-experience-oriented ego mind was so busy dreading the weeks ahead when it would all be different!
If you look at the top left of the large plant with the stalks of peachy flowers (Sunset Hyssop), you'll see an emerald green hummingbird:
In case you don't have superhero vision, and couldn't see it in the photo above, here's a zoom of the hummer:
A little funny--I had said to Rick after posting the entry, "Too bad the hummer NEVER comes to this side of the hyssop (he usually stays on the side opposite where we are). And when I was outside a little later, the hummer zoomed up and hovered exactly in front of where I was standing with the camera as if to refute me!
In my recent Isle of Light radio interview with host, Chyrene Pendleton, I promised to put some links on my blog. So here they are!
Step By Step Frequency Raising
The Step-By-Step Frequency Raising system can be accessed by clicking on its name.
Grief and release music
My favorite over time has been the CD Ashes by Cris Williamson, who wrote and performed it as a self-healing act when her partner of 20 years left her for another woman. Even though this has never happened to me, the trauma and grief translate perfectly to all sorts of situations. I have used this album to heal from loss of all kinds, from the death of my canine sidekick to my dear mother's passing, and all sorts of lesser, garden-variety traumas and lower-frequency events that I could not quite label the particular source of but felt the need to release energy from and move through. (See the end of this blog entry for a link to purchase Ashes and other recommended music.)
As I said in the interview, music written by someone who is using it to heal themselves is the most powerful healing music, and my friend, Donna Michael, wrote her latest CD, Out of the Darkness, as a way to move through a profound dark night of the soul she experienced. It is beautiful and uplifting and, like Ashes, moves you through the stages of release powerfully, without leaving you stuck in sadness. When you listen from start to finish, it embraces you in your grief and woundedness, and brings you up and out into the Light. I haven't had it for very long, but I know that it will be a favorite.
My personal favorite to put on right after moving through the grief and release music is Down to the Moon by Andreas Vollenweider, then, as I ramp up into full-on, heart-leaping-up joy, I put on Earth Wind and Fire. The key to choosing joy music is, obviously, finding what makes you feel happy when you listen to it. Tunes that make you want to move are fantastic, too, as movement is a key way to raise frequency--the perfect combination! The anatomy of joy music is upbeat, rhythmic, and clear. Music composed specifically with the idea of raising vibration is ideal--that's why Earth Wind and Fire's music is so powerful. If you listen to most of EW & F's songs, they are constantly moving up into crescendo and sound like they are climbing the vibrational scale. I also love that they were composed out of a consciousness of Oneness. (If you only get one EW&F album, I recommend The Essential Earth Wind & Fire--but play disc 2 first!) AND. my new favorite music to keep my vibes high is by Robert Randolph and the Family Band. You can hear their music from their homepage--just look at the bottom of the picture frame and their songs are listed. .
Rebirthing breath / circular breathing
You can read about this in a thread on my Raise Your Frequency! forum
This is another "power tool" you can read about on the RYF! Forum:
Pop! Your Frontal Lobes for Bliss All the Time
Another thread on the RYF! Forum on this topic is
For articles about the frequency-raising power of therapeutic-grade essential oils, as well as information on purchasing them, go to:
Here's an article about using your voice to heal (move into Prime Matrix, raise your frequency)
Here are links to purchase some of the CDs listed above as well as my own book, Recreating Eden: