February 2005 Archives
Since 1987, when I discovered vocal toning, I have been enamored of using sound for healing and transformation. At that point, there were very few people doing that work, especially in my area, and I taught toning classes and led toning groups back in North Carolina. It was wonderful to do that sacred work in a regular group. Such a catalyst for growth! The classes were always popular, and though most of what I taught came from a deep knowing without any training other than reading the classic, Toning by Laurel Elizabeth Keyes, I never doubted myself or my guidance about it (what a blessed experience that was!) and always discovered new and exciting facets of it to explore. As it turns out, much of what I intuitively knew and shared with the classes is exactly what is being taught now by the large wave of people doing sacred sound work. Pretty cool. Toning is definitely one of the most potent frequency-raising technologies at our disposal, and was part of our toolkits when we first came to Earth. It is a tragedy that we have forgotten the power of our voices, but thank goodness, that is changing!
Back to the birthday. The two youngest of my stepdaughters came over and Rick and the girls and I played a few rounds of a fairly mindless game called Racko, which was fun. Then we just hung out till it was time for the girls to go back to their mom’s house. Rick and I went out for dinner—back to the Bridgewater Grill at the Golden Hotel again—but this time, I was not kidnapped. I had exactly the same items for dinner as last time (half a calamari salad, seared ahi with lobster in buerre blanc, crème brulee) and it was delicious, but not quite as fabulous as before. I think there was different kitchen personnel involved or something. Still, I’d have thought it was utterly amazing if it were the first time I’d had it, so not complaining! Mostly, it was nice to be out on a date with my hubby. He was going to try to pull a prank on me and see if he could get the desk guy to loan him a key card so he could try and make me think we were going to spend the night again, but he remembered the stricken look on my face from my previous “kidnapping,” not to mention all the times I’m made him swear he won’t do that again, and thought the better of it. Smart man!
Remember Matty’s journal on the Mayan Majix website? I know some of you keep up with it regularly because you found it via my blog, and that some of you found my blog via Matty’s journal. Well, Matty had some new stuff posted in the last day or two, and she talked about Recreating Eden again. (Thanks, Matty!) I loved what she said and I know it will help even more people find us. I emailed with their webmaster today, and he told me they have visitors from 109 countries! You just have to love the World Wide Web. Such a wonderful way for us to all find each other!
It is almost impossible to believe that I am turning 51 today (the 27th)! It was a big enough stretch to comprehend turning 50. Inside, I’m a still a kid with imposter syndrome, wondering when somebody’s going to bust me for impersonating an adult. Oddly, though I’ve never felt like a legitimate grownup, I’m finding more and more that the real key to success is just what I wrote in Recreating Eden—being like a little child at essence, and walking in utter faith without requiring proof to satisfy my ego along the way.
Over the last couple of days, it has come to me so clearly that it is the ego, literally, that is keeping us from the Joy of Home. I know—you may be saying, “Julia! You wrote a whole book about that, and you’re saying that you’re just now figuring that out??? How can that be?” Well, you know how it is with realizations—sometimes they have layers. Sometimes LOTS of layers. As you know, much of what is in the book was not from my own ordinary consciousness, and was news to me when it came out on the computer screen, and although the notion of ego keeping us from experiencing Paradise isn’t a new notion, it’s a new, deep knowing. As in, some things you have a clear intellectual understanding of, but you don’t own the knowledge as an integral part of yourself until much later when you test it in the laboratory of living.
And I’m being blessed with the opportunity to test out everything that’s in that book, and live it. I was told by a highly intuitive friend early on that the key to the success of Recreating Eden was in my living the book, and it seems she was right on the money with that. I was at a certain level of understanding with that, but I didn’t realize that things would be ratcheting up quite as fast as they have. Indeed, I’m having the sense that I’m truly being called to walk my talk with impeccability, or what I’m being called to do with Recreating Eden cannot truly succeed. (No pressure!) I’m finding that I cannot get away with much these days—the tolerances are tight. I suppose the “game” hasn’t changed exactly, it’s just that with a greater awareness and with having accepted the job of disseminating the message, and thus, living the message, I’m having to operate within the law—within Prime Principle—without the expectation of being cut the former amount of slack.
For example, my ego—as well as the commonly accepted wisdom in business—says that the way to measure how well the mission is unfolding is by gauging book sales. And by how many emails come in regarding the book. And by seeing how many visitors we’ve had to the website, etc. My Spirit, however, says, “Do not concern yourself with those things. Seek ye first the Kingdom (of Heaven) and all else shall be added unto you.” (Sound like anything you’ve heard before?) And, indeed, when I’m allowing my ego to get caught up in the numbers, or any kind of external evidence of response, I get caught in that conditional Joy trap. When the numbers are large, I feel Joy. When they’re not as large as I think they ought to be, I feel less-than-Joy. However, when I allow myself to listen only to my Spirit, and follow instructions step-by-step, I feel authentic Joy, no matter what the numbers say. And the irony is, when I focus more on rising in frequency and experiencing Joy, which is the feeling response to being in the realm of my Spirit (which is the selfsame place as the Kingdom of Heaven), amazing events come to light, and the book sales go up! (I only know this because I do still check every now and then when guided to!) If I put too much stock in such external evidence of success, things seem to stall out. It’s pretty cool to be living the law of attraction so dramatically so that cause and effect are so easy to see, but it’s a challenge, too. Not always fun when ego is out of control! Got to get that ego trained to completely let go and let God. That might take till I’m 52 or so… (wry grin)
I know I’m supposed to blog tonight, but I’m having trouble figuring out what to say. So…I’ll tell you of a few of the thoughts I had today. In fact, I took notes on them, and I’ll just transcribe some of the notes here.
It is crucial that we train our left brains to observe what is going on within us so that when we notice ourselves operating at lower frequency, we can make the conscious decision to seek alignment. It is also vital that we establish a protocol for our conscious minds to follow when we realize realignment is needed since you are not at your point of highest wisdom in that case—being in your highest wisdom requires being in alignment! (Have you ever noticed that when you need it the most, it seems that all the Truth you ever had a grasp of eludes you? That’s because in cases where you need it the most, you’ve dropped in frequency and are misaligned, therefore, access to God Mind is not available!) For example, for situations when you are at that point of fog over what to do to get back to higher frequency, it will help to have a list of steps to take such as surrender to Spirit (which is obviously the primary action always, and will do the trick most times), check to see if there are blockages that are ready to be cleared, put on frequency-raising music, use frequency-raising essential oils, etc. (Check out my instant frequency boosters in Rising Times for other ideas.)
Healing the disconnect between our brain and our emotions so that we can be aware of our feelings as guides on the path Home is vital. Our left brains must become keen observers of our emotional states so that we can make corrections immediately, i.e.: when you notice that you are feeling sad, you can take steps to clear the sadness through emotional release, thus freeing up your energy flow to raise your frequency back to the level at which you experience Joy. When you notice that you are feeling angry, you can identify that your ego is in charge and creating an experience of separation, etc. and then do what is necessary to get your ego out of it, release the anger so that you can find unity again, and thus your frequency is raised.
That's it for now!
Lots of really cool synchronicities seem to be saying that this is waaaaaay larger than us, and that there is a plan in place in the vibrational realm for something more than just a beautiful spring weekend in a glorious setting, moving toward Eden by practicing Joy. (As if that were not enough!) That is what my inner guidance also says. What it feels like is some sort of activation—an opportunity for a collective quantum leap. NOT to get all into ego about it, as the truth is, I don’t know for sure what larger purpose our gathering is going to be accomplishing, and it really doesn’t matter, as long as we listen to Spirit and do as we are guided to do moment by moment.
It’s just delightful to watch this whole thing unfold! But, I came to what I believe is a significant realization today. When moving toward unconditional Joy, it’s just as important to hold steady when you see evidence of the outworking of the Divine Design that matches your ego’s ideas of what should be happening, as it is to ignore your ego’s response when you see evidence that would appear to contradict its ideas of what ought to be happening. In other words, basing your Joy on external evidence is as perilous as basing your less-than-Joy on external evidence!
Okay, I know—Joy is Joy is Joy is Joy. It’s all your emotional response to being at the frequency level of your Spirit, and so scarce in this misaligned world, you should take it however you can get it, shouldn’t you? Well yes…but the caveat here is that we need to learn how to stay in Joy without externals taking us out of it, OR without needing externals to put us into it. When we feel authentic Joy under any circumstances, it’s a blessing, however, if we allow ourselves to go manic with Joy when something that seems like a blessing comes along, we will also be prone to drop in frequency when something that seems like an “anti-blessing” comes along. Essentially, what you’re saying is “I’ll only allow myself to feel the Joy of being in the realm of my Spirit when my left brain is convinced that things are going according to its plan.”
Now, I’ll admit that I’m still learning the ropes here on the leading edge of unconditional Joy, but what I’m hearing from Higher Wisdom is that, at this point in our larger process of recreating Eden, the goal is not simply the repetitive achievement of delirious joy, but the achievement of a higher and higher emotional set point. What we really want to do is increase our tolerance for Joy so that we are able to sustain joy no matter what evidence shows up. Of course, the cool part of that is that the more we sustain joy, the more the evidence will match up with our joyful state, which will support even more joy, (not that we’ll need evidence by then) and the less our egos will have any input at all (hallelujah, huh?!).
If this sounds boring—the concept of no manic highs, and no depressive lows, it’s important to understand that once we achieve that at the level of sustained Joy, we will have unlocked the door to such amazing (ego-less) fascinations as cannot even be perceived from this schizophrenic state of being we call life in the duality matrix. I have that on excellent authority. In the meantime, align with Joy however you can, and know that you're headed toward unconditional Joy!
One more thing--Amazon "promoted us" today. Apparently, we've now sold enough books there to warrant them offering a 15% discount on Recreating Eden! While you wouldn't think discounting your book would be desirable, in this case, it means they feel they can make enough money on the book to sell it at less than full retail. Hooray!
Oh, boy. Remember the part of the last chapter of Recreating Eden where I described what happens when you raise your frequency and your ego stuff is displaced? How true! Just add a whole lot of Light, and it will stir up any unresolved issues and old stored energy to be released. When it does, it can feel overwhelming in the moment. And some of it leaves only with strenuous objections! Thankfully, however, if you continue to focus on the Truth and continue flooding yourself with Light, trusting that your Spirit is always calling you higher, the murk clears rapidly and your emotional set point (as Abraham calls it) is a notch higher as your reward. And the next time your stuff comes up, it clears more easily and rapidly At least that has been my experience. Please don’t let the foregoing talk of displaced stuff scare you off—having your “default setting” higher is the way to have more joy and far less murk, it’s just that in the process, there is some stuff to get through!
I’m sure, based on the first paragraph, you’ve already guessed that I’m talking about what I’ve been experiencing. If you go back through the last couple of months of the blog, there are many entries about the increasing Joy I’m experiencing. Well, all that sustained higher frequency has definitely displaced some crud, and I’m getting to put the notion of unconditional Joy to the test. It’s almost as if I’m somehow challenging myself to see just how much emotional “owee” stuff I can navigate through, and clear out. And maintain my devotion to my Spirit, to Joy.
For me, it’s all solar plexus stuff. I’m waaaaaaay too familiar with the lump in the pit of the stomach. That’s the connecting point between you and the world—it’s the chakra where ego issues are focused. And whenever the ego decides it needs to defend itself for whatever reason, it clamps down on the energy, thus, the lump. (I think I may have talked about this a couple of days ago.) So I guess it also makes sense that when your ego is being displaced, it feels threatened and is all too ready to shut down, and that plays havoc with your solar plexus. What seems to help me with that is breathing—although, when I’m really going through something, it’s sometimes so knotted up, I have a hard time taking a full breath. Relaxing and finding ways to consciously connect with Spirit are important, certainly, as are all frequency-raising activities—of course, some are easier than others to engage in when you’re all knotted up. What has really helped me a lot is Release (the essential oil blend). It is amazing at clearing out blocked energy—unsticking the stuck--particularly that which is near the surface and ready to be let go of.
I guess I could keep this personal stuff to myself, but I share things like this on a public forum because I believe that someone who reads it may be helped by it. I figure some readers will be appreciative of getting a play-by-play of what embarking on the intention of aligning with Spirit so as to return to Eden may bring—maybe some of them so they can say, “I’m not the only one going through this!.” My ego, I must tell you, does cringe, because I’m pretty much saying loud and clear, “I am a human being in process!” instead of maintaining some illusion of having it all together, the way our egos would prefer that we do! I’ve never made any bones about who and what I am--I’m adept at listening to Spirit and writing what I hear, I’m a pretty decent counselor and healer, and I’m a skilled and enthusiastic teacher, but I’m no guru, that’s for sure! I’m the one who runs ahead and then hurries back to grab some pals to share my experience with. And if my ego wishes you’d think that I am some sort of Earth master, phooey on my ego!
On a slightly different note, remember, tomorrow’s full moon is just right for healing activities and for service. It’s a great time to start a new program to make yourself healthier!
The mailings are going out to more than ONE MILLION targeted email addresses from the lists of Hay House and the various authors/teachers! ONE MILLION. Wow. My prayer is that many more of our teammates will be provided with a thread of connection to discover the teachings in Recreating Eden, and, of course, to come together with the rest of their “tribe.” (That would be you and me!)
I’m feeling such a sense of urgency to put things in place for us to start connecting outwardly in a greater way to support each other in our process. I was meditating on that today and was given the instruction to put out the call for that on the website—make a specific statement about what people can do to facilitate the coming together. So I put up a page titled “The Team.” I’m sure it will expand, but this is a start. Tony was lovely to turn on a dime and get it put up so that it could be there when the big mailing goes out and all those new folks go, “Hmmm…Recreating Eden…what’s that all about?” and come to check out recreating-eden.com.
I was also told today by The Advisors that are working from other dimensions, in much the way a patient elder sibling might tell a younger sibling, that “everything is already in place in the vibrational realm—you just need to start more actively allowing things to manifest by accepting that and understanding it and not blocking it with doubts and insecurities over ‘what comes next.’ We’re so glad you’ve finally figured this out—we’ve been just waiting for you to!”
Apparently, there’s already a schedule and structure in place, and now it’s time for me to not just relax about it, but to "actively" expect things to pick up speed, and stop worrying about the hows of it all. Apparently, people (like Ellen, for example) will feel inspired to instigate events, and while I will be able to offer input, I do not have to (and should not) beat on doors and try to make things happen. Which is great, as I am not one who likes to figure that stuff out and I’m not into working my human will to make things happen. And gee—it all works so darn well when I just go about my business and allow the universe to do it’s thing—witness the Louisiana Joy Weekend and the Amazon Bestseller campaign, neither of which I had to make happen in the traditional human way! I couldn’t have contrived either one of those things.
I’m also going to be looking into doing teleseminars so that we can connect up in a greater way from our homes. It won’t be as much fun as being able to look in each others eyes or to hug, but it will offer an opportunity to share in a way that email and the blog can’t provide. As things accelerate in our process (and boy, are they ever), it will be nice to get closer in a conscious way, won’t it?!
It’s been an uneventful weekend for the most part—and that’s not unwelcome! I slept a little more deeply, a little later, and felt some uncustomary low energy in between sleeps. Today, after spending some time on the basement clearing project, I flopped on the daybed with the dachsies and watched This Old House. It felt so wonderful not to be fighting it—to be relishing the moment instead of making myself feel guilty about vegging out when there is so much to do around here.
I have a pattern of doing that—needing to rest, but once doing it, feeling bad for not being in motion. So it is especially delicious when I can escape that. I hope this signals a trend of being kinder to myself, and wiser, too! The irony is that when you spend your R&R time whipping yourself for not accomplishing something, you don’t even achieve R&R—you’re just as busy as you would be if you were up and about doing something, only the busy-ness accomplishes nothing of value. No deep rest there and certainly nothing to show for all the work you put in being unsympathetic to yourself. So silly! At any rate, today I did not worry for a moment about all the stuff I “should” be doing, and just savored the feeling of snuggling up with my soft chenille throw with two pups to warm my legs.
Last night, two of the four girls came over, and that was fun—uncharacteristically, however, they were both in bed asleep by 10:30, so I had late night by myself as usual. Rick helped #2 daughter with her college search this morning and that was interesting. She has no idea what she wants to be when she grows up, very little idea of what college she’d like to go to, but is clear that she wants to focus on math and science, and be near the mountains. She’s big into rock climbing. And she’s very smart with excellent grades and can pretty much get in anywhere. So the world’s wide open for her. I’m wishing she’d go to the East Coast to broaden her horizons, and that does seem to hold some appeal for her, but going to the West Coast would also broaden her horizons. I just have an East-Coast prejudice since that’s where I grew up! Of course, most of all, I want her to go where her instincts guide her to. I’m just happy she has so many options—even if she’s a little overwhelmed by them all at the moment!
While I only got a little bit done in the basement, I went down there with the idea of only getting a little done, so that was just fine. No need to make it something to dread. I cleared out an old box that had some cool things in it, long forgotten, that had sat in water when the basement drain from the kitchen sink backed up and flooded the basement. In it were some small crystals and minerals and trinkets that could be washed, and a filmy silk prayer shawl from Tibet that could not. I had to release it since it had sat in the yucky water, smelled a little off, and wouldn’t have held up to the kind of washing it would have needed to get it clean. I asked for the prayer energy to leave it and shower me with blessing, and then I discarded it. I wasn’t too happy about having to do that, but I was assured internally that if any high frequency energy was left in it, it would be a blessing in the landfill, which surely could use it!
I was disappointed today to find out that I was not selected for something that I had applied for. I was one of a relative few asked to apply for this particular opportunity, and when I was first asked, I had to work with my ego not to get too excited over what seemed like an honor (smacks of ego, doesn’t it?!) and not to get too invested in seeing it as the right next step in getting the message out in a larger way. I confess, however, that I was pretty sure I would be selected, because what I am about matches exactly what I understood the criteria to be for the selection. And it DID seem like a great chance to further expand the teaching. So when the news came today that I was not selected, I was disappointed. Part of me took it personally. While I am clear at a rational level that for whatever reason, I was simply not an energy match for the situation, and that there is something more appropriate in store for me, my ego was experiencing pain.
What a blessing! It’s only right that your ego experiences pain—it is the part of you that insists on dwelling in separation and that’s where pain and suffering manifest. Pain is of the ego and the subschema for disharmony alone, and the blessing of pain is that it’s a great motivator to return to the realm of “no pain”—the Divine Design for Harmony and Wholeness! So, instead of allowing myself to wallow in the pain, I chose to be aware of what was really happening. What a great opportunity for me to study the role of disappointment in reducing frequency, in taking me out of the blissful realm of my Spirit! If nothing else, I am grateful that this happened because now I can feel so clearly (yet again) the role of the ego in taking me out of the Joy-space.
When we’re disappointed, it’s simply a matter of our human tendency to assume that something is supposed to be a certain way, and when it turns out not to match the limited view of the ego, disappointment is the result. In such a case as this, feeding into disappointment are self-esteem issues (more ego stuff). When I got the notification that I hadn’t been selected, I tried to relax and be cool with it, but my ego went straight to the “They think I’m not good enough” place! In my body where I felt the disappointment was in my solar plexus. Your solar plexus is where you interface with the world. When you assume a disharmony with the world, a kind of dissonance between what your ego wants to believe about yourself, and what the reflection SEEMS to be from the external world, your solar plexus clamps off the energy flow there and it feels like a sick lump is in the pit of your stomach. And, of course, when you shut down the flow of energy, there is a back up (the lump) and your frequency is lowered. Remember that in order to maintain the level of frequency necessary to feel the ecstasy of being in the realm of your Spirit, close to Eden, there needs to be optimal energy flow.
Now—were the people who decided someone else more closely fit the criteria for what they’re in the process of creating saying to me, “You are not good enough to participate in our project”? I surely do not think so. And even if they were, that is none of my business. My input about me—about the truth of Who I Am—must come purely from God-In-Me if I am to maintain harmony with the Whole and the higher frequency that keeps me in the Joy-space. So I choose to look at this as being entirely impersonal, and instead of seeing this as some sort of judgment about worthiness, I see it as an opportunity for something even more appropriate to manifest for me. I see it as another chance to remember that the only mirror I need to look in is the mirror of my Spirit—God-In-Me. It's the only mirror you can count on for the Truth about you. Yes, the wounded child in me needs to be soothed so it can fade back into harmony, but I find that acknowledging the feelings and then climbing back up into Joy by doing things that my inner child loves to do are the best way achieve that. You don’t want to strengthen the ego by catering to it, you want to harmonize your energy with Truth so that the ego is a simply a non-player.
Do you remember the fable of the farmer that I told in Recreating Eden? When everyone else kept judging a series of events as either good or bad, he always said, “Maybe so, maybe not.” Simply know that, if something the ego desires does not come to pass, there is something else that is intended to occur—something more appropriate. And something that your ego can often, in retrospect, see the harmony in, even though it can't at first. It could be something that the ego labels as “better”—or not. But one thing you can always be sure of is that everything IS in Divine Order, and when the ego is trained to operate from that stance, life flows so much more easily. When your ego learns to release its grip on judging events, you will no longer have to spend any time away from the Joy-saturated frequency level of realm of your Spirit!
I think I’ll go apply some "Release," put on Earth Wind and Fire, and have a dance party with my inner child!
I feel there’s something I’m supposed to be blogging about, but I have searched my mind, my heart, and my hard drive, and have not come up with a thing. So I’ll just start and see what happens…
Today was high on the Joy index. My communion time—the time I spent sitting with my Spirit and listening—was enhanced by some more realizations about what Joy really is. I used to try to always meditate in that “quieting the mind,” and “being still” kind of way during my communion time, but I’ve realized that, while sometimes I need to purposefully sit and go into an altered state to become receptive to my Spirit, its not always what’s called for. More and more, simply sitting in gratitude for all that I have been blessed with and allowing the Joy to well up in me is every bit as powerful! Feeling the Joy, and amplifying it with even more gratitude for the increasing Joy, makes the Joy increase even more, and then the gratitude increases and on and on. It’s a frequency escalating exchange. An exchange with God-In-Me. And it’s thrilling!
Why is this as powerful (maybe even more) as a standard-type meditation? First, when you meditate, you are seeking communion, seeking bliss, through seeking perfect alignment. Well, if you start with assuming communion, and fanning the flames of Joy all the way to bliss, you are already where you’re wanting to go by meditating! While it’s true that you might “go farther out” when you meditate, the act of consciously having a “bliss out” with your Spirit definitely raises your frequency sky high! When you’re consciously, actively seeking Joy with your Spirit, you are in the same basic position as you are when you meditate—in perfect receptivity to your Spirit for a full and free flow of Love and divine wisdom, catalyzing the Joy response that is your indicator of being in the high-frequency realm of your Spirit. (I’m sure I was receiving “downloads” from my Spirit throughout today’s whole communion time and beyond.) With your conscious mind participating in profusely expressing gratitude to your Spirit, it is an even more dynamic experience than meditating when your mind is still. It’s like the garden hose analogy that I included in Recreating Eden—while a garden hose nozzle is not the source of the water that flows through it, by deliberately squeezing the trigger, you can get the flow going. That’s what I practiced today and I definitely had a wonderful time!
I guess I did manage to come up with something to say! I'll be glad when I can share information about some exciting things that are in the works, but as I’ve said often before, I’ve learned the hard way that when you talk about things before it’s time to, you can dissipate the energy! Oh, well—it’s very late, I can barely keep my eyes open, and I should turn in now, anyway. (I hope this is all coherent!) ’Night!
Well, friends, the cloud has lifted! Hallelujah! Turns out it was just time to confront something I had been in denial about for awhile. (I did, and it has made a huge difference already!) AND it was time to do some emotional release on what feels like something unrelated to the denial issue, though why compartmentalize?! So I did that, too. (Remember my “constipation” comment from the last entry? Constipation isn’t just about your bowel movements, although being blocked in that arena can certainly affect everything!) Both actions freed my energy to flow again so that I could rise back up in frequency. I’ve been in the Joy-space ever since.
Let me share with you what I did. When there’s blocked energy coming up to be released, it is important to do what is necessary to release it. One way (though certainly not the only way) to do this is to stimulate a release by having a feeling-your-feelings-and letting-them-go-crying fest! On purpose. I have a CD that does the job for me every time. The first time I used it specifically for clearing-releasing-healing, was in 2002, just after my dear sidekick and soulmate-dog, Luna, made her transition. The CD is by singer-songwriter Cris Williamson, pioneer in the “women’s music” arena. It’s called Ashes, and was her healing response to the dissolution of her 20-year relationship with her lover and partner. Like many highly creative folks, Cris just naturally writes/sings/creates her way back from pain to spiritual center, and this album was the vehicle to, as well as the result of, her healing process. (And it is NOT a maudlin album, by the way!) By setting her healing process to music and sharing it with us, she blazed an energy trail that others can use to more easily move through their own pain. While her losing her lover and having to let her go was not exactly the same as me letting go of my dearly departed, beloved dog, it was the same essential process. All grief and loss are based in the same basic issue: the feeling of separation from Love; from your alignment with your Spirit. And all healing is the act of finding your way back.
Today, my healing session did not involve a specific—I mean, I could not label the blocked energy and stored sadness that needed to move out. I could not attribute it to some specific event or issue. But that was not necessary at all. I felt the blocked energy, catalyzed my feelings of grief by using Cris’ music, and allowed myself to “wail it out.” It wasn’t a horrible time at all—in fact, strange as it sounds, once you understand the process, it’s even kind of enjoyable. When you grieve on purpose, you are very aware that energy is moving (at last!), that there’s a healing process going on, and you are the one that initiates it, so there’s no feeling of victimization by your emotions involved, or fear of falling into the abyss. You are just processing your “stuff.” Moving it through and out. Removing the obstacles to your energy flow. Clearing the channel to feel the Love of coming through your Spirit.
By the time I was about halfway through, my crying was alternating between sobs of grief-release, and paroxysms of Joy! Energy moving in the right direction will always lead to Joy! By the time the album finished, I was poised to rise straight up to full-on Joy. So, of course, I then put on Earth Wind and Fire (grin), and I’ve been dancing around the house, a happy camper once again!
Cris is such a remarkable talent. I have loved her music since the early ’80s when my friend, Lily, introduced me to it. I introduced Rick to it early in our relationship and he loved it, too. While it may have come from a "woman who loves women,” this hetero couple did a lot of “courting” to the sublime music of Cris! She has an utterly amazing voice and her lyrics are indicative of her constant orientation to Spirit. If you’re not up for the healing power of Ashes, I love all her albums, but her tour de force is The Changer and the Changed. I think every person consciously on a spiritual path needs that album!
One added note—I started my releasing session by using the essential oil blend, “Release” and that helped a bunch.
I got notice this afternoon that astrologer Lisa Dale Miller had posted info on the upcoming Full Moon. It is awesome and a must-read. Looks like it’s not just prime healing time for me, it’s about to be healing time for all of us! (I’ll bet you’re not even surprised about that!)
Today, I had another less-than-joyful day, and was considering not writing, but I realized that it might help me (and others) if I could process my day and figure out the lessons in it. It was a cold, gray, damp, snowy day, and I had to go out into the world when I would rather have stayed home and communed with Spirit and worked on writing projects. I didn’t have something difficult to do while I was out—I got my hair cut and highlighted—but for whatever reason, I was “off my game.” At least I'm lookin' good…(grin)
Anyway, for whatever reason, I chose not to experience joy today, and I realized that having a less-than-joyful day gave me the chance to understand the components of being joyful; i.e.: what was missing today? Obviously, I did not focus on my Spirit; did not seek joy. While I know I’m on the way to achieving complete, unconditional joy, I’m not there yet. I can tell you that joy is easier to feel when I am:
In a clean-air environment.
In a high-frequency environment.
In the sunshine.
Physically free of aches and pains.
Free of time-restriction.
Able to be totally in the flow, dancing to no one’s tune but my Spirit’s.
Not constipated! (Either emotionally or physically)
These are conditions that are a given in Eden. But they are not in the duality matrix. We attract what we are vibrating, and what we attract, affects what we are vibrating. The thing is, we need to rise up out of the duality matrix to feel joy—and it’s hard to do when we are not already vibrating ease and joy! So which comes first, the chicken or the egg? We do have the capacity to create the conditions in which joy is easier to access when we have the intention to. One thing that is very handy about this world of contrast is that it is easy to know what we don’t want. If we aren’t vibrating at our highest, it helps if we do what we can to create the conditions that help us rise up.
Those conditions I listed are things I am mostly able to have every day because of the way I have both consciously and unconsciously designed my life. But I realize that those are not necessarily conditions that everyone is manifesting for themselves at this point in time. Still, we can point our intentions in that direction. If you have a job that is not supportive of Joy, it’s a sign that a change is needed. If you have a home environment that is not supportive of Joy, it’s a sign that a change is needed. I believe if you do what you can to experience Joy, the parts of your life that are not supportive of Joy will spontaneously begin to transform. I'm sure that there are people who are able to feel joy even when they are not warm and dry, but I bet they would tell you it's not that easy and that they would rather be joyful AND warm and dry! We are choosing our reality--we're not victims. So let's choose it to support Joy. I don't see any particular virtue in suffering. There 's enough suffering inherent in the duality matrix.
I wouldn’t make a very good Buddhist. Too much focus on transcending physical suffering through suffering. While I’m all for transcending physical suffering, I don’t want to simply end the physical suffering by rising up, I want to help myself rise up by making myself feel better as an aid to the process! By the way, I feel better just from writing this stuff out. And I just used a couple of drops of the essential oil blend, “Transformation”—that shot my frequency up. And I drank more water. And I felt appreciation and gratitude! Whew—I think I just felt Joy return!
(The Rosette Nebula I talked about in the last entry is archived now. Do check it out!)
This morning when I very first woke up, my Prime Thought was HUGE LOVE. And I felt huge Love. I wasn't awake enough at that point to remember it was Valentine's Day. I think what I was tuning into, aside from the HUGE LOVE that is Who We Are, was all the energy of all the people making a point today to say "I love you" to someone. Nice! And though I had a kind of odd, out-of-sync day in many ways, I did feel hugely loved. I hope you did.
Guess what! Our mid-May “Joyfest” in St. Francisville morphed again! No, we didn't change the weekend (whew!). But we’re looking at making the Sunday (May 15) workshop into both Saturday and Sunday, and moving the personal energy attunements to Monday. I was meditating on the workshop Saturday when it hit me—it needs to be more than one long day—it needs to be two modest-length days so that there's more time to process and more time to relax and enjoy what we're doing. So we’re seeing what we can do about that. Hemingbough won’t be available on Saturday—just Sunday—so the Saturday part will need to be someplace else. And Ellen’s on the job, figuring that out. Besides a chance to do some powerful "work" together, it feels like it's going to be a family reunion--of a family who hasn't seen each other in waaaaaay too long! I hope you're planning to be with us...
Ellen got a book for each of her employees so that they could be ready to play their roles in the event. That’s pretty cool! Wouldn’t you love to work for someone like that? She has mentioned that there is a lot of excitement brewing for our weekend around there. Excitement? I’m biting my tongue to keep from saying, “Is it May yet?” again!
Remember me talking about that book I’ve been reading while riding the exercise bike? The Lineage of the Codes of Light? I’m still plodding along with it—with few exceptions, reading it only for 15 or 20 minutes at a stretch. At first, I only read it while exercising, because I was able to integrate the energies of it most efficiently that way. Now, I’m only reading it when I exercise because I’m almost to the end and I want to stretch it out and make it last! I love how I feel when I read it. It’s so easy to feel connected to all the women who have carried the Truth within them—so many of them having to keep it hidden due to the masculine energy-dominated world. It traces key, powerful women throughout time who have carried the Light codes for humanity, and shows what their lives were like by having each of them tell their story to the next woman in the lineage that they’re opening the codes within as a passing of the torch. My consolation for when I’ve finished it is that her next book is titled The Brotherhood of the Magi and, from what I understand, parallels the Lineage of the Codes of Light historically, but focuses on the brotherhood that guarded the women who carry the codes.
My sister, Ann, sent me an awesome image today of the “Rose Nebula.” It looks like a bloom from Scepter’d Isle (my Valentine rosebush I talked about last night)! After the last blog entry with all that rose talk, I was itching to link to it in tonight’s, but the version she sent that was colored like my new rose baby is from Astronomy Picture of the Day website and they change the photo daily (duh) but from what she said, don’t get the “old” photos archived right away. So all that to say that once they get it archived, I’ll find it and link to it here so you can marvel at it, too!
Roses. I have a thing for them. (You may have noticed that there is a rose prominently featured on the cover of Recreating Eden.) Not only are they the most amazing eye candy, their fragrance is almost addictive to me. According to research conducted to measure frequency in essential oils, rose essential oil is far and away the highest frequency ever measured, not just of any plant—but, I believe, of any organic substance. Just smelling it can assist you in aligning with your Spirit and raising your frequency. I confess that, although someone once gifted me with a tiny vial of it, I have never invested in pure rose essential oil—it is exorbitantly expensive--but with valid reason. It takes a ton of rose petals to yield a bit less than a pint of rose essential oil, thus making it quite precious. Young Living’s rose oil is $189 for 5 ml wholesale. I guess I need to sell out the first printing of Recreating Eden before I indulge in that! Meantime, I’ll continue to enjoy the fragrance of the roses in some of the oil blends, and in my garden!
Speaking of which…(all the foregoing was a lead in to this!) Instead of cut roses for Valentine’s Day, I appealed to Rick for a new rose bush that I’ve been wanting for awhile, and considering it was only $11.95 plus shipping and handling, he was quick to agree! It’s “Scepter’d Isle,” a David Austin rose, which is not only gorgeous, it has won the most prestigious award for fragrance. You can see its “official portrait” at the David Austin site. I did not get it through the Austin site, though—I ordered it from my favorite rose nursery, Chamblee’s in Tyler, Texas. They specialize in own-root roses and they have amazing prices and beautiful specimens—fine service, too. I bought 2 Austins from them last year (Abraham Darby and Molineaux) and they were both very large (1 gallon) and already had blooms. And both grew like gangbusters! I’m excited to get my new “child”—I asked for delivery in April. Since I’ll have to wait 2 months, I asked the “rabid rosers” over on Gardenweb’s Rose Gallery to post photos of their own Scepter’d Isles and have gotten some beautiful responses.
Okay—I’m devolving into rose rhapsody. (A hazard for rose lovers!) The other thing I wanted to be sure and mention is that I was surfing the ’net the other day and ran across a letter from a woman by the name of Laurie Moore, talking about whales and dolphins and oneness and duality and unconditional joy, and thought, I need to know more about this person that sounds an awful lot like me! So I went to her website, drlauriemoore.com, looked around, and emailed her to see if she would like to do a link exchange. She answered me this afternoon most graciously and in the affirmative, saying she wants to read Recreating Eden, and extended me an invitation to attend one of her California workshops as her guest. She’s doing lots of cool things—the most exciting of which to me is leading a couple of dolphin workshops in Hawaii this summer—boy, would I love to attend one of those! Rick and I swam with dolphins in Florida on my 46th birthday and it was really a wondrous experience. I look forward to getting to know Laurie better. I read several testimonials about her saying she is “joyous” and lots of fun! Sounds like one of our team mates to me! Oh—and on her site, I found links to a most magical-sounding retreat center called “Three Trees,” and also a link to “Dolphinville,” (in Hawaii) which is definitely now on my “must visit” list. Wait till you read what it says when you click on their “What is Dolphinville” link. Talk about recreating Eden—they’re clearly working off the same "script!" And how much fun it must be to do that among the cetaceans in Hawaii!
Happy Valentine’s Day! Let’s fill it with TRUE Love.
The Prime Thought for today (overlighting intention for the day) was “HUGE joy for no apparent reason.” I figured that pretty much meant that I was holding at bay any fabulous external stimuli for joy, but that was okay—joy is joy is joy and since my goal is unconditional joy, it would be a wonderful reward to experience what I had programmed the day for. So maybe Oprah didn’t call today because I programmed for huge joy without an external stimulus--so be it!
What I got today was exactly what I intended! Sometime around 1:30 this afternoon, I suddenly realized I was buzzing with Big Joy! It was a pretty slow start—I didn’t feel especially joyful when I got up this morning—but not un-joyful either. My “set-point” is fairly high these days, so unless something comes along that I allow to pull me down in frequency, I’m already most of the way to the joy space. I can tell you a few things that contributed to buoying me, but by no means could these things alone have accounted for how I felt. I made notes on joy for awhile (I’m developing several projects around joy) and as I channeled the information, I rose in frequency, naturally (you can’t take dictation from the higher realms without rising in frequency). I felt extreme gratitude--and expressed it to my Spirit--for the insights I was blessed with while making notes. I listened to my favorite joyful music (Earth Wind and Fire—at some point, I will devote at least one whole blog entry to their music and its power to raise you in frequency!), and, perhaps, most importantly, I allowed myself to flow with my Spirit, which is always the ticket to joy, since joy is, after all, the energy signature of being in the frequency realm of your Spirit.
I did one other thing that only enhanced the huge joyful feeling I was experiencing, and that pretty much put me over the top. I used a drop of “Joy” essential oil blend. I must tell you that I used to love, love, love Young Living’s “Joy,” and then about 3 or 4 years ago, they reformulated it and it no longer smelled like my favorite blend. I’ve been hoarding parts of old bottles even since, using only a drop every once in awhile. Today, however, I decided to give the “new” Joy formulation (which I have one bottle of) another try—you know, keep an open mind and see if I could like it for what it is, not dislike it for what it’s not. Soooooo….I did. And it was awesome! Not the old Joy, but I loved it anyway. Sent me into the stratosphere! I was experiencing waves of ecstasy—tears in the eyes, heart leaping up, LIFE-IS-SO-WONDERFUL ecstasy! I think I'll be using the "new" Joy more often!
So can I say that today’s joy was truly unconditional? After all, I did enhance my environment with frequency-raising intention, music, activity, and then fragrance. But those were all things that I chose—my experience of joy wasn’t triggered by external stimuli such as “good news,” or a compliment or a phone call or something. The things that assisted me in rising in frequency were me, supporting my relationship with my Spirit. Pretty neat.
Speaking of the oils and frequency, I’m on a couple of essential oils email lists, and today a nice woman from Houston named Annette posted on one of them about her experience with an energy healing class and the essential oils. She said the instructor was reading colors on her with the applications of various oils which related to the chakras they were enhancing. She said that when she used “Joy” (the aforementioned oil blend), the instructor saw rainbow colors! Check out my aura photo on the Events page (which was just added there today along with the Louisiana “Joyfest” info and the Winston-Salem events). I had used the essential oil blends of En-R-Gee, Clarity, and Joy about 60-90 minutes before that photo was made. Anybody see a rainbow there?! (wink, wink)
I was contemplating when would be the optimal time to start a new project today, when it occurred to me that I hadn’t a clue when this month’s new moon was. So I looked it up and it was yesterday. Oops! Fortunately, the new moon influences last longer than a day, so while it would have been nice to have figured it out yesterday, it’s still valuable to coordinate with the new moon’s energies to make a fresh start on something. I found a really clear and focused analysis of the current new moon’s energies at Lisa Dale Miller’s website. (If you email her, she'll put you on a list to receive notice of upcoming new moon and full moon analyses.) It was interesting to me that while I had not known about it to consciously coordinate with it, I was pretty much on track with what this new moon is about! I guess that is the reward of following your Spirit to the best of your ability—even without the left brain information, you manage to coordinate accurately and harmoniously with the Whole of Creation. I guess that is actually what we are moving toward—to be so synchronized with the part of yourself (your Self) that has limitless, constant access to the Wisdom of All That Is, that you no longer need crutches like astrology, tarot, the Weather Channel, the Wall Street Journal, or even a calendar.
In the meantime, there’s a website that I visit from time to time that offers a free, downloadable lunar planner (.pdf format) that you might find useful. I don’t use it as a planner, though I do usually look it over each month. What I like about it is that it covers the theme for each phase of the moon for each monthly moon cycle. It helps you understand what kinds of actions are most supported by each moon phase. And be sure to check out each new moon's "theme"--this month's is "Serendipity." I love that! The entire website is pretty interesting and probably especially so if you “speak astrology,” (I really don’t) because Nick Anthony Fiorenza, the guy whose site it is is quite the prolific writer and in many cases, includes a lot of vernacular that the astrologically-undereducated might not understand, but I find it worthwhile to skim over his articles and grasp as much of his analysis as I can.
Speaking of astrology and following your Spirit, it brings to mind a time back in the mid-’80s when I lived in a condominium in Raleigh, NC, in an area that was outside of town a bit--fairly rural at that point (no longer). Our swimming pool was on a hill above the complex, half-surrounded by woods. Very quiet and peaceful up there unless there were kids around--and usually there weren't. One evening, I experienced an inner nudge to walk up to the pool. Not strange—except that it was 11:00 at night, I was alone, and the pool was closed. I had a key, though, and it was quite a safe area, so I obeyed without hesitation (well, I did stop to say, HUH?! You want me to do what?! before walking out the door). It was a warm, virtually cloudless night in midsummer, and as I approached the pool, I was instructed to put my feet in. I stood on the top step in the shallow end, the water up to my ankles, and “heard” the instruction to look up. So I did. The stars and planets were vivid against the black sky, and just like it was a download from the computer, I was struck with the sudden understanding that all those balls of minerals and gases out there in space were interacting with the minerals and gases not only in the Earth, but in my body, and that all are a part of an amazing, interconnected mechanism—a being, if you will—whose constituent parts are all acted upon by magnetic fields that are modulated by the various mineral characteristics and how they specifically conduct electricity and interact with each other. Suddenly, the notion of astrology, while still foreign in its specifics, made perfect sense to me. No longer was it an airy-fairy concept, but I knew with certainty that the science behind it, while probably not fully accurately interpreted by human beings even yet, was as real and as commonsense as any other aspect of the physical world that we have a fairly decent grasp of. OF COURSE we’re affected by the different planetary aspects—our frequency is modulated by the various “rays” of influence they exude because of our own mineral make up! Beyond just the major electromagnetic influence the heavenly bodies have on the water in our body, the crystals and minerals within the planets and stars are communicating with the crystals and minerals within us. Cool, huh? Of course, maybe everyone else in the world has already thought of this and it’s something I missed by never taking physics, but it was news to me, and I like that I got it straight from the Source, as it were. Obeying the odd commands of your Spirit can take you on some fascinating adventures! I highly recommend it.
Little by little—and sometimes, alot by alot—the message of Recreating Eden is getting out there! It’s an interesting experiment, and test of what I teach, to let Spirit design my marketing plan for me, to not see a copy of said plan in tangible form, but to follow it step by step as given in the moment! I have to say, I don’t think I could have devised a plan nearly as effective! (Or as cost-effective!) Every day now, I’m surprised and delighted at the connections being made and the opportunities being offered. At some point, perhaps I’ll go into more detail, but once again, things are at the delicate stage of needing to be held close so as not to deplete the energy. Suffice to say that it is clear to me that the universe truly is conspiring to make sure that lots of people read the book and “get it.” I love watching the energy growing! And meeting the beautiful people who are magnetized by it! YOU, for example!
Yesterday and today, in between other tasks, I spent quite a bit of time reading my own book! Partly because I needed to decide about using excerpts from it, and partly because I just need to do that from time to time. Believe it or not, I sometimes forget what is in there! Rick used to shake his head when I would tell him that I was freaked out because I couldn’t remember what was in the book. (I’m doing much better now—not freaked out anymore.) Ask anyone who does any kind of channeling, and they will tell you that they often have no clue what they’ve said. This is not to that extreme, as there is a lot of me in the book, and in the process of writing it, I went over and over and over it all, but it is true that when I read it now, it is quite a bit like reading something written by someone else. When I was reading it today, I felt a lot of tingling sensations on/in my head. Not sure what that was about, but it seemed like "someone" was working on me. Pretty neat! The other very cool thing I noticed over the last two days of reading it is that, even though I wrote it, it is triggering new insights for me. It’s almost like reading a whole new book! I guess I have evolved to a different level, and so what it is saying to me now is different than what it said before because I am seeing from a new perspective. Clearly what's doing that is not so much my words as the energy that prompted me to put them down in the order that I did. (I dowsed on every word to be sure not only that I was saying what needed to be said, but that I had the words organized just right for the energy to come through!) I can now better understand why people have been reading Recreating Eden through multiple times.
Ellen sent out the save-the-date email for the May 15 weekend and already has heard from a bunch of people excited about coming! (I hope you're one of them!) Hey—I’m so excited about it, I’m already thinking about what to pack! That’s a lot about escapism in addition to my enthusiasm for the trip and events. Doesn’t a lush, green, gorgeous spot in the Deep South in late spring (might as well be early summer in that part of the world) sound divine about now? With a bunch of lovely, conscious people interested in expanding their capacity for real Joy? It does to this Colorado dweller. I’m getting tired of the snow pack in the shady parts of my backyard, and of the cold air, and the brown plants. And I’m ready to meet my fellow tribe/team members face to face! Lots to look forward to this spring. Oh…wait a minute! Be here now, Julia. Be here now!
Okay. I think we’ve FINALLY settled on our South Louisiana weekend date! After some aborted April dates, we were planning it for May 6-8, but today were alerted to the fact that the 8th is Mother’s Day. Sigh...SO, we’ve moved it to May 13-15, and that’s that! Ellen (Kennon) is sending out a “save the date” email to her list first thing in the morning and, of course, if you’re not on her list, consider THIS your official notification to save the date! (We’ll be sending out more info. as soon as we get it.) We’ve reserved the utterly gorgeous “Hemingbough” for the workshop, and the owner is excited about having it there since he is very spiritually attuned and conceived the idea of Hemingbough with just such events in mind. You just have to see how gorgeous it is! Be sure to look at the amphitheatre, where he thinks we should plan to have at least part of our day. I am in total awe. Obviously Spirit wants only the most beautiful setting for a workshop devoted to Joy! I know it’s a distance for many of you to travel, but the beauty of the area alone would be worth the trip—and I just know the learning experience we co-create together will be transformational! From what I can tell, there’s nowhere to stay in St. Francisville that isn’t a beautiful B&B (there are many)! So I guess pushing it back to mid-May gives you time to plan...
I’ve been giving some thought to outer stimuli and its role in our feeling Joy. So, because I learn best when I’m “extroverting,” I thought I’d work out some thoughts by writing about it here on the blog…
I’m thinking that when you receive some kind of stimulus that makes it easier to access Joy (“good” news, a compliment, etc.), what’s really happening is that what you are receiving is something that helps you let go of your ego doubts and reservations, or whatever ego issue is pulling you out of union with your Spirit. The external stimulus is acting as a kind of validation or permission to let go and feel/experience the energy that your Spirit is offering you continuously and unconditionally. For example—and I’m going to make myself vulnerable here—in putting this book out to the world, I felt powerfully that it was a potent energy tool and I felt clear that my Spirit was saying, “Yes, Julia. Nice job! This will work.” And I felt joyful! This strong feeling kept me going through all it took to get it into form (published) and out to the world. But I confess, there were times before I got external validation when I started to wonder. When I really started to tap into Joy in a larger way was when people started giving me the feedback I had been longing for—the validation that what I had “heard” from my Spirit was correct. So my question for myself was “why?” Why wasn’t it enough that I was hearing it from my Spirit? Why should hearing it from others help me to feel Joy, when Joy is your feeling response to being in the realm of your Spirit?
What I have figured out so far is that, of course, as we are able to let go of our ego needs more and more, and move our default setting higher up the frequency “ladder,” validation will have less and less effect, because we will already be there. BUT maybe in the meantime, Joy being catalyzed by outer stimuli is a “substitute pattern” until we get to greater conscious union with our Spirits. We—our ego-selves—don’t yet trust God-In-Us completely enough—or, trust our ability to hear God-In-Us clearly enough, to totally operate on that alone. Our egos need evidence, and so, having validation—that external evidence that our egos love so much—for our egos to feel better about, might be just enough to help us let our confusion and guard down so we can feel that what our Spirit is telling us is true—to help us rise above our ego, closer to Spirit where the true joy is. There’s a danger of addiction to needing the external stimuli (and, indeed, we are probably all pretty addicted to it!). But seeking to experience true Joy unconditionally by virtue of our proximity to our Spirits is what we're about, and I believe if we practice rising in frequency for the pure love of unifying with our Spirits, we will just naturally be in Joy more and more and more and the external stuff will lose its ability to move us toward Joy, or less-than-Joy!
I realize this might not be totally clear yet, so I will continue to work with this within myself and will elucidate further when the time comes!
And the basement cleaning saga continues…Today, I tackled a box of things that I had not looked at since before I moved to Colorado seven years ago. I found lots and lots of notes for the book(s)—both the book that is, one that may be, and several books that will likely never be! For many years, I was like a blindfolded kid at a party, swinging at a piñata, wondering which swing would yield the treasures. With every new area of personal growth I tackled, I experienced such energy there, I would think that perhaps THAT was going to be the slant of the book I knew I was gestating but didn't fully comprehend. All these years later, I see that every single one of those things contributed to what ultimately was born, yet none was even nearly broad enough to encompass the task that I was about. In addition to the notes, and lots of lists of desires, and letters to God about same, I found pads and notebooks full of inner-child, non-dominant hand writing. I did huge amounts of inner child exploration back in the early-to-mid ‘90s. As impetus to do the “job” in earnest, Spirit had me living with my parents for half of each year for seven years. I lived in their home year ’round, but they were away at their cottage on Lake Michigan, in Florida, or taking various trips interspersed with those for a total of six months and more. So I had the house to myself for many months on end, and we had about five or six months of togetherness each year. I don’t care how much you love your parents—if you live with them when you are an adult, after having lived on your own for almost 20 years, there are going to be issues that come up! (Not just for the “child,” for the parents, too!) I see the inner child work I did as self-preservation as well as long-term healing and energy release. At the time, I had an astrology reading—solar return and transits and progressions—with my friend and brilliant astrologer, Randy Wasserstrom, and he described it as Spirit designing the circumstances so that I HAD to do my inner child healing work and do it in an accelerated manner. My “mid-life opportunity,” he called it. In retrospect, I see what an amazing gift it was. That I survived it is equally amazing! (My dad might say that HE survived it was even MORE amazing, with all the head-butting and territorial disputes that went on in HIS house!) One of the ways I mined the experience was, in addition to solving many of my own personality puzzles through the work, was that I taught lots of inner-child related classes, (primarily at the Center for Life Enrichment in Winston-Salem, NC) that were very popular, because they were not only very healing, much of the time, they were a lot of fun! I found materials from those in the box, as well as some (if I do say so myself) brilliant writings by “Sweet Julie,” my inner feminine child. I may just have to share some of her insights on the blog sometime. She would love it—and you probably would, too! What I realized from the whole exploration of my box of notes, inner child writing, workshop plans, and old letters to God asking for something new and different (much of which I now have), is that there is nothing you ever do that isn’t a part of the gift of healing you have to give the world. When you are in the process of healing yourself, you ARE healing the world! (And there I was, desperately trying to heal myself so I could get on with healing the planet!) Healing doesn’t have to be hard, either. My “sources” tell me we can heal and learn through joy and ease now in ways that weren’t possible before--that healing through slogging through the pain and heartaches of our Earth indoctrination is old technology. Outdated! We’re to approach our healing through climbing in frequency in whatever ways we can, step-by-step, so that the unhealed aspects of us are spontaneously healed, with only occasional needs to revisit the past for greater enlightenment. The other big insight that was triggered is that every part of your personal growth, no matter how much it seems to you to be a result of your “screwing up,” or floundering. or swinging wildly at the piñata, is a part of God’s experience of being human through you. You really can’t screw up if you understand that your job is to help God experience every possibility of Him/Herself! That makes every possibility just as holy as any other! Some are more joyful than others, and I believe that our desire to experience the increased joy of higher frequency means that now God wants to experience, through you and me, what it is to be a human being operating closer to the Core, where there is less pain and more bliss. But whatever your course, you really can’t mess up! Isn’t that a relief? Wish I’d known that all those years ago!
In addition to the notes, and lots of lists of desires, and letters to God about same, I found pads and notebooks full of inner-child, non-dominant hand writing. I did huge amounts of inner child exploration back in the early-to-mid ‘90s. As impetus to do the “job” in earnest, Spirit had me living with my parents for half of each year for seven years. I lived in their home year ’round, but they were away at their cottage on Lake Michigan, in Florida, or taking various trips interspersed with those for a total of six months and more. So I had the house to myself for many months on end, and we had about five or six months of togetherness each year. I don’t care how much you love your parents—if you live with them when you are an adult, after having lived on your own for almost 20 years, there are going to be issues that come up! (Not just for the “child,” for the parents, too!) I see the inner child work I did as self-preservation as well as long-term healing and energy release. At the time, I had an astrology reading—solar return and transits and progressions—with my friend and brilliant astrologer, Randy Wasserstrom, and he described it as Spirit designing the circumstances so that I HAD to do my inner child healing work and do it in an accelerated manner. My “mid-life opportunity,” he called it. In retrospect, I see what an amazing gift it was. That I survived it is equally amazing! (My dad might say that HE survived it was even MORE amazing, with all the head-butting and territorial disputes that went on in HIS house!) One of the ways I mined the experience was, in addition to solving many of my own personality puzzles through the work, was that I taught lots of inner-child related classes, (primarily at the Center for Life Enrichment in Winston-Salem, NC) that were very popular, because they were not only very healing, much of the time, they were a lot of fun! I found materials from those in the box, as well as some (if I do say so myself) brilliant writings by “Sweet Julie,” my inner feminine child. I may just have to share some of her insights on the blog sometime. She would love it—and you probably would, too!
What I realized from the whole exploration of my box of notes, inner child writing, workshop plans, and old letters to God asking for something new and different (much of which I now have), is that there is nothing you ever do that isn’t a part of the gift of healing you have to give the world. When you are in the process of healing yourself, you ARE healing the world! (And there I was, desperately trying to heal myself so I could get on with healing the planet!) Healing doesn’t have to be hard, either. My “sources” tell me we can heal and learn through joy and ease now in ways that weren’t possible before--that healing through slogging through the pain and heartaches of our Earth indoctrination is old technology. Outdated! We’re to approach our healing through climbing in frequency in whatever ways we can, step-by-step, so that the unhealed aspects of us are spontaneously healed, with only occasional needs to revisit the past for greater enlightenment.
The other big insight that was triggered is that every part of your personal growth, no matter how much it seems to you to be a result of your “screwing up,” or floundering. or swinging wildly at the piñata, is a part of God’s experience of being human through you. You really can’t screw up if you understand that your job is to help God experience every possibility of Him/Herself! That makes every possibility just as holy as any other! Some are more joyful than others, and I believe that our desire to experience the increased joy of higher frequency means that now God wants to experience, through you and me, what it is to be a human being operating closer to the Core, where there is less pain and more bliss. But whatever your course, you really can’t mess up! Isn’t that a relief? Wish I’d known that all those years ago!
Well, I thought I didn’t have anything to blog about this evening, but it turns out I do! While there is something—several somethings—preparing to be born through me, it is apparently not time yet. When I think of sitting down at the computer and manifesting these things, I get a red light. And, for a change, I’m not seeing that as a rejection from Spirit! I’m seeing it as what it is—a timing issue. A signal that all is not in place to begin these particular segments of the dances with energy, however eager I may be to do so. This is HUGE for me! If you’ve read the preface to Recreating Eden, you know that I have a long history of taking it personally if the energy and information from “Mission Central” isn’t freely flowing through me and onto the hard drive. I now know that it is NOT PERSONAL. It is not that I’m somehow messing up. (As I said in another entry this week, maturity is such a relief!) It’s not that I’m not available to be a conduit—Lord knows, I am! It’s not that the energy has died—no, not at all. It’s that the configuration of the whole of the universe (including me) as it relates to what is being born is not in place just yet! All birth into form is a matter of process, with all the energy needing to be assembled first so that there is a template for it in place.
Thank God I am finally getting this—finally trusting myself—my Self—on this! I’ve always been told by Higher Wisdom that as long as I was willing and surrendered to the best of my ability at any given time, my personality could not possibly stand as a barrier to Spirit’s goals—Spirit is wise enough to know how to work with my personality to achieve whatever is in Divine Order, even as I fear that I am somehow sabotaging the unfolding of something important. It is certainly clear to me that for as much as I worried about the process of manifesting Recreating Eden, the timing of getting it out to the world was impeccable, despite my fears and many self-doubting conniptions! I could have saved myself a lot of angst. Was the world ready to receive the new energy contained in Recreating Eden until now? I don’t think so! It’s not so much that it is some revolutionary concept that would have been ahead of its time—no, it wasn’t that. It’s the energy load it delivers, which I now see was constructed in the higher realms such that it be optimally received now.
So, while the process is unfolding, I’m mending nets, so to speak. I am seeking out websites where I can place links to www.recreating-eden.com. The more links you have on other people’s sites, the more traffic you get, and the more people have a chance to see if they resonate with the message—to see if they are to be a part of this evolutionary synergy in a conscious way. And, the more links on other people’s sites, the more the search engines are “interested” in your site, which has the potential to bring even more of our "tribe" our way. I’m going to ask a favor now—if you can think of a site you think I ought to approach about getting a link, please let me know via the “contact us” form on www.recreating-eden.com. Those messages come straight into my personal email inbox, and once you email me that way, I’ll email you back and you’ll henceforth have my personal email address. We’re just trying to keep the spam at a minimum by not publishing an email address directly on the site.
While I assume you already would have thought of this, just in case you haven't, I'll ask. If you are enjoying the blog and are into the message of Recreating Eden, please email your other friends that might be interested and include a link to the homepage. Even if they decide it’s not for them, they might know somebody else who will turn out to be of our tribe—and you know how wonderful it is when you discover more of your tribe members!
Remember I told you that Rick had heeded an internal nudge to email Barbara Rose who has an e-zine called “inspire!” to ask her if she might feature Recreating Eden? She was most receptive and gathered the necessary information immediately, but told us that she would have to wait till the March issue to put us in as the February issue was already full. I was surprised today to find out that Recreating Eden is in the Feb. issue after all! I guess the timing is being handled by a universal calendar we’re not privy to! We’re on the page with all sorts of interesting books and articles, including with Steve Rother’s latest book. Ellen is a friend of his, and she and her friend Anne, who are setting up my visit to Louisiana, hosted a visit from him in Baton Rouge a couple of years ago with great success. At any rate, on the front page of “inspire!” there is an image of Recreating Eden’s cover and a link to an excerpt from the introduction. I’ll be interested to see how many people are lead to recreating-eden.com from there. The more exposure and links we get the better! And this is an excellent situation since there’s an excerpt with it. Do check out “inspire!” as well as Barbara’s site borntoinspire.com. She’s an interesting, inspiring (!), and very kind lady who obviously has taken to heart the understanding that the path to personal success is paved by helping other people get where they want to go. You’ll also want to read “About Barbara Rose” on her site (left-side menu of borntoinspire). She has an interesting background story…
I was busy, busy today. I baked Rick’s cake last night but today was about putting up the traditional decorations that come out every birthday season. Both Rick’s and my birthdays are in Feb., and 3 of the 4 girls' b-days are in March, and then the other one’s is in April! So the end of winter and beginning of spring is “Birthday Season” at our house. Soooo, today I cleaned up a little bit, got out the decorations and put them up, made the raspberry coulis for the cake, exercised, and then found out I'd need to be extra speedy with dinner since daughter #1 would be cramming her visit in between 2 rehearsals (she’s starring in a community musical production for charity in March, and is also in a musical through University of Denver, where she is a student. A very busy girl!). We were happy she could fit us in! Her birthday gift to her dad was a commitment to go out to lunch once a month with him, which was the best possible gift as she’s so busy, we rarely see her these days. Anyway, I really had to hustle to fit in my workout and get dinner made in time for her to eat and get back to rehearsal #2. But somehow, it all got done and it was delicious and much appreciated by all (I always love that!). The other girls were here, too, though daughter #2 didn’t get here till we’d finished dinner since she was in a study session—and left early to go to another one! The performer and the academic—both maxing out their time, doing their thing!
Fixing a feast for six people in a tiny kitchen like ours is quite a feat. For almost as long as we’ve lived here, I have found myself getting frustrated and sometimes even rabidly angry about dealing with such a tiny space when I love to cook but am not spontaneously organized the way you'd need to be to operate successfully in a postage-stamp-size kitchen. Realizing that what you’re vibrating around a topic is the attracting factor, and knowing that my anger only attracts more frustration, I’ve wrestled with the whole issue, trying to figure out how to stop going to the angry place when working in the kitchen and a manifestation of it’s Liliputian size shows up (no available counterspace and a hot pot to set down, or Rick is needing to be in there to get what is needed to set the table and it's that critical moment when all the parts of dinner are coming together at the end, etc.). I’ve tried with moderate success to be at peace with it, and I’m certainly grateful for our home and for the kitchen, but all too often, something comes up that really points up the unsuitability of it and pushes my buttons about it! So what I’ve come up with lately is that everytime something like that happens, I shift out of frustration and pour my passion into saying, “Wow—I’m going to LOVE our big, new kitchen!” or “Isn't it great to be getting that new big kitchen?!” I use the incident to trigger an affirmation of what I am intending to manifest. At this point, the universe has not revealed how or when the “big new kitchen” will be showing up, but it certainly feels like a necessity, so I am sure it’s on it’s way, and in Divine Order and Divine Timing. I do need to shift my wording to the present tense, i.e.: “I sure do LOVE our big, new kitchen!” but it feels like shifting things in degrees is what needs to be done here since it’s quite a stretch to believe those words while banging my hips between the cabinets in our little galley-style space! I’ve decided that I’m going to see any intensifying frustration with the kitchen as a sign that something is about to change and expand. I bet that’s what it feels like to a baby chick who’s about to break out of its shell into a larger world!
Now it all makes perfect sense. The likely culprit for why the dates for the Louisiana trip weren’t working out is that Mercury is retrograde from March 19 through April 12. In case you don’t know about Mercury retrogrades, you can read about them at this link (Explanation is below the calendars). Trust me—it’s best not to plan anything having to do with travel and communication during them. It’s not that they’re a guarantee of things gone awry—it’s just that the conditions are far more favorable when Mercury is direct. Of course, as the site quotes well-known astrologer, Steven Forrest as saying, the preferred activities for a Mercury retrograde have “re-” attached to them, like “re-writing,” “re-working,” etc. So probably “Re-creating Eden” would work—but apparently, at least according to the lack of flow we’ve experienced, the universe says “no”! Thanks, Patti, for pointing out today that Mercury is going to be retrograde—I had not thought to check!!!
By the way, my very first astrology reading was with Steven Forrest, who is from Chapel Hill, NC. He’s quite the storyteller!
ANYWAY, the Louisiana weekend has now been established as the first weekend in May. Ellen and I had a great phone conversation and touched into a huge energy. It really feels so great—I just know it’s going to be a magical weekend. I see it as a co-creation—an initiation of a new level of recreating Eden. Yes, I will be channeling and leading learning experiences, but as importantly as what anybody “learns,” is that the people attending will be contributing their own substance to the vision and their magnetic power and Life Force to lifting things up. I realize that I am a lofty thinker, and that everyone may not see it as I do, but I see this as such an opportunity to reach a new level of understanding—a real experience of the transformative power of unconditional radiance and deliberate Joy! There’s a whole new paradigm that this is establishing in form—that is what my guidance is telling me. It’s not your old-model of spiritual assemblage—however vital those have been. It’s an unprecedented opportunity to feel what it feels like to be called Home. Wow. Is it May yet??!
I usually write these right before I go to bed, but tonight I’m writing early because I need to make Rick’s birthday cake. It’s a flourless chocolate cake with raspberry coulis. I learned to make it before we had stopped indulging in sugar, but last year, I tried making it with xylitol (natural sweetener made from birch trees) instead and it was every bit as delicious! (There's still some sugar in the chocolate that I use but not much and considering it's with so much protein, it doesn't seem to have a big glycemic effect.) So I'll be repeating that performance. His birthday is Friday, but tomorrow night is the night the kids come over so we’re having an early celebration. We’ll have another one Friday. Since the cake has to be refrigerated for several hours before cutting, I’m going to go ahead and bake it tonight.
Oh, yeah—today I went to the pet boutique where I buy the pupsters’ frozen raw food, etc., and as I was paying, the owner (who I know and like and usually enjoy talking to) walked in, grumbling and carrying on about somebody who did something inconsiderate in traffic. I said, “Hey—don’t let someone else dictate your mood!” She answered, “well I tried not to, but…” and continued ranting and raving about them. Then the clerk started chiming in and agreeing with her about how “stupid people are forgivable, but inconsiderate people have no excuse,” and on and on, the energy in the room taking such a rapid nosedive, I had to very deliberately work to keep myself from being affected, using my favorite energy-shielding technique (which I plan to share in the next newsletter). I did stifle the urge to say, "When someone is acting like that, it's a sign that more Love is needed." I have found that such statements are not well-received when someone's ego is letting off steam! Won't it be wonderful when enough of us are letting Love run our lives so that everybody gets it?! The process is unfolding...patience, Julia!
Cycles…contraction…expansion…contraction…expansion. I seem to be in a contraction after the expansion of the last week or two, though I’m sure it’s just that I can’t see what all is going on in the unseen realms. Happily, I’m having confidence that all is in Divine Order despite not being able to see progress in some areas! I'm actually feeling it--feeling the connection with the Intelligence that is running my life, and knowing it is smarter than my ego-self. I'm clear that there are roots going down and sprouts coming to the surface even if I can't see the whole process at work. There’s something to be said for spiritual maturity and for living enough years to have observed the outworking of cycles over and over again!
Because I have taken on the topic of “Joy” for my upcoming workshop and writing, I am being provided with lots of material on it. And because “unconditional Joy” seems to be a very important aspect of it, I’m being provided with opportunities to sustain Joy despite a lull in experiencing outer stimuli that might seem to support being in the Joy-space. (i.e. things are not unfolding according to my ego's design and schedule!) When expectations aren't met, it's easy to despair unless you have decided to have absolute faith in the greater outworking of the Divine Plan. And so I have. I'm choosing to KNOW that my Spirit is waaaaaay smarter than my ego and I'm choosing to feel the Joy of that, the Joy of knowing that all is well and is unfolding on time and in Divine Order. I believe that’s a huge key to enlightenment: choosing Joy instead of waiting for Joy to choose you! Choosing Joy instead of expecting an external circumstance to catalyze you into feeling bliss. Doing what you can do to stay at the frequency level where Joy is the default emotion. After all, Joy is the energy signature of your Spirit, and where better to hang out when the world doesn’t seem to be shaping up according to your vision?! Of course, the truth is that the world IS shaping up according to what you’re vibrating so if you choose to vibrate at the level where Joy is the natural feeling, it stands to reason that the outpicturing of your vibrational frequency will very soon be more joyful! JOY: the effect AND the cause.
Speaking of cause and effect, we made more headway in the basement this weekend. What a thrill it was to go downstairs to exercise this afternoon and look at all the progress! Stunning! Still a very long way to go, but it’s amazing how much we’ve achieved in a few 2 or 3-hour sessions. I’ve been able to be pretty ruthless in letting go of stuff and it’s amazing how many empty and mostly-empty boxes we’ve been storing! Mark my words: the windows of Heaven WILL be opening up in response to our clutter-clearing—and actually, already are. Right now, I'm working on what in feng shui is the “skills and knowledge/wisdom” sector of the basement and boy, oh boy—the wisdom is flowing from “above” in a more powerful way than ever! I’m sure the process will bring many more such enhancements. How delicious to anticipate the finding out of just how and when!